ctb October 4...jumping

[Unspoken7612]

Inert gas asphyxiation (nitrogen) is very lethal.

 

[Defenestration]

L'asphyxie par gaz inerte (azote) est très mortelle.

No have this ...
to force me to jump I hesitate to take 16 g of paracetamol at once, it is not fatal but to force me to jump... because 16 g is not fatal but completely destroys the liver and extremely painful for life. ..so forced to jump to avoid this torture for life.

 

[justpathetic]

No have this ...
to force me to jump I hesitate to take 16 g of paracetamol at once, it is not fatal but to force me to jump... because 16 g is not fatal but completely destroys the liver and extremely painful for life. ..so forced to jump to avoid this torture for life.

I wish you peace and serenity.

 

[Defenestration]

I have motivation to die now...bu its friday...it Can change

 

[Tac0Johnz]

Hello, I have nothing new to add, but I'm sorry what's been going on and I sincerely wish you peace and may you find relief

 

[Defenestration]

Less motivation to die now.

Hello, I have nothing new to add, but I'm sorry what's been going on and I sincerely wish you peace and may you find relief

Big thanks i liké thé message

Je n'ai pas ça...
pour me forcer à sauter j'hésite à prendre 16 g de paracétamol d'un coup, ce n'est pas mortel mais pour me forcer à sauter... car 16 g ce n'est pas mortel mais détruit complètement le foie et extrêmement douloureux à vie. ..donc obligé de sauter pour éviter cette torture à vie.

Risk...

 

[moresomorose]

we on this forum take your pain and suffering as seriously as possible. we know what leads people to land in this place, it couldn't be nice. it's just that you seemed/seem unsure, lacking motivation, and since it's a pro-choice forum, ppl here are worried that you're aren't 100% ok with your choice. it's ok to wait if you're unsure.
do you feel like you have to ctb so that people take your suffering seriously? bc it's not about them, i'm sorry that you feel that way

 

[Defenestration]

I will never be completely ready...

 

[moresomorose]

whatever you decide, know that no one here is going to be mad or disappointed you didn't do it. we support people and their choices. as the other poster said, it's not about courage. also unlike some other methods, pretty irreversible, so that's why it's more important to be sure you want it and you have exhausted all your other options. if you regret it in the last moment there's no taking back and calling for help. maybe if you aren't truly ready there're some doubts keeping you here.

 

[Defenestration]

whatever you decide, know that no one here is going to be mad or disappointed you didn't do it. we support people and their choices. as the other poster said, it's not about courage. also unlike some other methods, pretty irreversible, so that's why it's more important to be sure you want it and you have exhausted all your other options. if you regret it in the last moment there's no taking back and calling for help. maybe if you aren't truly ready there're some doubts keeping you here.

Thanks

it is rational suicide. in my life it's 80/100 suffering for 20/100 things suitable...and this has been the case since I was born...it's not worth the hassle. here I have a dream opportunity that will probably not happen again for months...and the rest of my life will be a long way of the cross

 

[moresomorose]

It's your decision and I respect that. Just be sure and don't rush things, imo better to miss an opportunity now than feel regret.

 

[Defenestration]

I've been putting off CTB for 20 years (2004)

 

[Defenestration]

 

[Defenestration]

Anybody?
Please

 

[pulleditnearlyoff]

Anybody?
Please

I know how you feel. i also feel so ready to die and kms 90% of the time, but when the moment to commit comes, SI kicks in so strong! It's so frustrating.

 

[Fangarina]

I have nothing useful to add other than echoing what Moresomorose has already said.
Nobody here is dismissing your anguish. We are all here for the same reason and we understand and share this grief with you - but if you are not 100% sure then you need to take a little more time. This is a mega permanent way to CTB and it's not something you can reverse when you commit. And if you do decide to make the journey there and change your mind, that's entirely ok too. I am a fellow BPD sufferer, and I have never been more sure that I will CBT before the end of the year, I just haven't put a date on it as I will know the exact right time when it comes.
However the next few days play out for you, I wish you peace and tranquility somewhere somehow.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

I have nothing useful to add other than echoing what Moresomorose has already said.
Nobody here is dismissing your anguish. We are all here for the same reason and we understand and share this grief with you - but if you are not 100% sure then you need to take a little more time. This is a mega permanent way to CTB and it's not something you can reverse when you commit. And if you do decide to make the journey there and change your mind, that's entirely ok too. I am a fellow BPD sufferer, and I have never been more sure that I will CBT before the end of the year, I just haven't put a date on it as I will know the exact right time when it comes.
However the next few days play out for you, I wish you peace and tranquility somewhere somehow.

If everyone waited until they were 100% sure, then no one would ever CTB. In my experience the best you can hope for is 95%.

 

[Defenestration]

Je sais ce que tu ressens. Je me sens aussi prête à mourir et à mourir 90% du temps, mais quand le moment de s'engager arrive, SI entre en action si fort ! C'est tellement frustrant.

Yes
it's not for me, I've mourned life... it's a huge guilt towards my loved ones and leaving my mother sick with the beginnings of Alzheimer's (even if there is my father).

 

[Fangarina]

If everyone waited until they were 100% sure, then no one would ever CTB. In my experience the best you can hope for is 95%.

I completely agree with this. But I do also feel that when you know it's time, you know. And OP doesn't appear to know.
He may well take that walk and be 100% sure in his decision, only he will know when he gets there.
Regardless, I hope that his journey gives him the freedom he desires so much.

 

[Defenestration]

I want to die the problem is not here but guilty with m'y family(sée What i wrote)

 

[Fangarina]

I want to die the problem is not here but guilty with m'y family(sée What i wrote)

I hear ya.
I ordered nice stationary to write notes, have a list of people I need to pour my heart out to. And it was only when I stated to write the list of who I need to write to, I realised how many people are going to be shattered when I go. But equally, I'm in so much pain I can't keep putting them before me. And these are the same people who I tell regularly how broken I am and that I don't want to be here anymore, and they can't even check in to see if I'm doing ok. So mehhh. I get it completely though.

 

[rih]

I've seen you around a lot/lurked quite a bit, I hope you find peace whatever the method.

I love the name/word; first learned it when reading about Prague years ago.

 

[Defenestration]

I've seen you around a lot/lurked quite a bit, I hope you find peace whatever the method.

I love the name/word; first learned it when reading about Prague years ago.

Big thanks where do you sée me?

 

[rih]

Big thanks where do you sée me?

I think I saw you in chat (maybe?) or just random threads i'd sift through. The name isn't really forgettable so seeing it multiple times kinda sticks.

 

[Defenestration]

Je crois que je t'ai vu dans le chat (peut-être ?) ou simplement dans des fils de discussion aléatoires que je parcourais. Le nom n'est pas vraiment oubliable, donc le voir plusieurs fois reste un peu en mémoire.

Thanks
Up
Up

 

[moresomorose]

I'm just going to reiterate that you don't seem ro be sure, especially with your family's situation. You have to understand that it will affect them and you have to either accept that or look for other solution. I don't know what your relationship is like, but I'll stil ask if you can you reach out to them. Is your father capable of taking care of your mother?

 

[infi41]

I love you bro. I'm out soon too. I hope you find what you need. I'll see you on the other side.

 

[NegevChina]

I want to die the problem is not here but guilty with m'y family(sée What i wrote)

I also must die soon. Only thing keeping me is guilt to my family.
I cant leave them by there selves to deal with my CTBing

 

[Defenestration]

I'm just going to reiterate that you don't seem ro be sure, especially with your family's situation. You have to understand that it will affect them and you have to either accept that or look for other solution. I don't know what your relationship is like, but I'll stil ask if you can you reach out to them. Is your father capable of taking care of your mother?

my mother is completely independent at the moment...but my parents don't get along well

I also must die soon. Only thing keeping me is guilt to my family.
I cant leave them by there selves to deal with my CTBing

Same

 

[Defenestration]

GUILTY about family