CTB date picked out

[ihateittoo]

I finally have a time when I can ctb ideally. My parents will be going out of town on the 25th for a week which is perfect because it gives me a much better spot to ctb. My plan originally was to buy a shotgun, then drive to a remote location then shoot myself. But if I can have my parents house to myself I would much rather do it in the comfort of my childhood bedroom. I can't believe its really happening. This time I feel more certain than ever. I have been planning this for months and it finally is coming to fruition. Im ready to go, every time i see myself in the mirror Im ready to go. Shotguns are cheap and easy to buy where i'm from, i'll probably end up spending around $320 after everything.

I feel a lot of guilt about abandoning my parents, but I don't see any other way out of this for me. Ideally there would be a way for us all to go together so we wouldn't have to grieve, but I'm not the murder-suicide kind of person, and im sure my parents have a lot of life they want to still live.

If anyone wants to chat please send me a message, I like talking to people online and get a little lonely sometimes. We can play games or anything, im not great at video games but I enjoy playing some cs2. I also play hoi4(i promise im not a chud, i just like maps).

 

[darksoul999]

I feel you, i plan on CTB on the 19th via extremely potent Fentanyl i have my hands on and tested. I could use a gun but i suppose i don't have the balls for that lol.

 

[hdead]

I feel you, i plan on CTB on the 19th via extremely potent Fentanyl i have my hands on and tested. I could use a gun but i suppose i don't have the balls for that lol.

How'd you test the potency/purity of your fentanyl..?

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I understand you'd feel more comfortable in your childhood bedroom, but your death will be hard enough on your parents as it is, please don't leave them that kind of mess & put them through the trauma of finding you. Please don't make them sell their home. It's hard to even wrap my head around the selfishness of that kind of decision, when you claim to feel guilt for abandoning them. It doesn't add up. I think that ultimately your love for your parents will prevent you from deciding to permanently scar them with the trauma of finding you, and from deciding to destroy their home forever.

 

[sadbh—itstimetogo🤎]

I understand you'd feel more comfortable in your childhood bedroom, but your death will be hard enough on your parents as it is, please don't leave them that kind of mess & put them through the trauma of finding you. Please don't make them sell their home. It's hard to even wrap my head around the selfishness of that kind of decision, when you claim to feel guilt for abandoning them. These just don't match up. I think that ultimately your love for your parents will prevent you from deciding to permanently scar them with the trauma of finding you, and from deciding to destroy their home forever.

I hate calling suicide selfish. Sometimes I think we should have the right to leave on terms that are comfortable for us.

But those few moments of comfort will ruin your parents life beyond burying their child. It will cost a ton of money to properly clean, and then they'll never be able to walk past your room without thinking of you. And if they find your brains splattered on the wall, they're going to wish they were dead with you.

Pls find another way to make yourself comfortable. A nice hotel room, a scenic spot, literally anything besides the home your parents have invested in for years and are attached to.

It's so much easier to clean up your brain splatter outside where birds will eat half of it than manage a massive interruption like a dead child and a permanently tainted house.

 

[ihateittoo]

I hate calling suicide selfish. Sometimes I think we should have the right to leave on terms that are comfortable for us.

But those few moments of comfort will ruin your parents life beyond burying their child. It will cost a ton of money to properly clean, and then they'll never be able to walk past your room without thinking of you. And if they find your brains splattered on the wall, they're going to wish they were dead with you.

Pls find another way to make yourself comfortable. A nice hotel room, a scenic spot, literally anything besides the home your parents have invested in for years and are attached to.

It's so much easier to clean up your brain splatter outside where birds will eat half of it than manage a massive interruption like a dead child and a permanently tainted house.

i can do it in my car if you guys think that would be better.

 

[LastNite]

How'd you test the potency/purity of your fentanyl..?

I believe there's an EU drug testing center that you can send your drugs to, they test what is inside. I don't know the process, but I've heard of it a while ago. I think it was on page 70-80 on the Peaceful Pill eHand book. I'm not sure how someone would go on about sending drugs via mail to that company for testing. Might be complicated. They use a machine that is quite expensive, it gives you the readings that you need. There's plenty of these machines here in the U.S, but I don't think any company allows people to use them for that purpose.

 

[sadbh—itstimetogo🤎]

i can do it in my car if you guys think that would be better.

Would be a million times better. The car can be totaled instead of your parents having to leave their home.

You can still find ways to get comfy, depending on the size of your car. Music you like, location that suits you, snacks or comfort items. Thank you for reconsidering.

 

[ihateittoo]

Would be a million times better. The car can be totaled instead of your parents having to leave their home.

You can still find ways to get comfy, depending on the size of your car. Music you like, location that suits you, snacks or comfort items. Thank you for reconsidering.

if im doing it in my car i have no reason to wait. i guess ill look for times this week i dont have any responsibilities. i guess it does end up working better date wise. i could do it as soon as 6pm today if i wanted, but i wanna do some stuff before i go first. thanks for the advice on doing it in my car

 

[sadbh—itstimetogo🤎]

if im doing it in my car i have no reason to wait. i guess ill look for times this week i dont have any responsibilities. i guess it does end up working better date wise. i could do it as soon as 6pm today if i wanted, but i wanna do some stuff before i go first. thanks for the advice on doing it in my car

What do you want to do beforehand? And the car idea was all you! No need to thank me :)

 

[ihateittoo]

What do you want to do beforehand? And the car idea was all you! No need to thank me :)

i think the bulk of it is just mentally prepping, i have band practice tomorrow as well and i wanna go to that. i know I cant send my friends a long goodbye message prior but I want to make sure the people in my life know I love them in some way, even if its just in vague comments and such. i'll probably wait until the weekend because I have class all this week. I know its stupid to be worried about class if im gonna be dead but I really just hate skipping class, plus if I chicken out I don't want to miss any assignments and fall behind.