Venting CTB by cop

[Exact Change]

Anyone else consider this? Part of me would really like to take some people with me. I'm becoming more homicidal than suicidal lately. I honestly want to make some ppl pay dearly for their selfish, abusive actions. My self-loathing has taken second place to the disdain I have for others. There are times I will drive with a gun in my car and a hunting knife on my belt, hoping someone fucks with me.

 

[garrypallister99]

No, of other people want to live let them live please

 

[WoundedComrade]

no, i don't want to traumatize or hurt anybody.

 

[Quiet_Observer]

Everyone has a right to do what they want with their life, taking others with you would impede their freedom. I understand where you are coming from though; I had similar thoughts myself in the past. Hurting people won't solve their selfish actions, it would just make people worse.

 

[Exact Change]

But whoever I take out will never harm anyone else again.

 

[tora]

I've thought of this before too, I'd love to traumatize a cop before I go but there's too big of a chance they'll shoot you somewhere non-fatal

 

[chop]

Honestly if you really think they do deserve it I think you should but if you have no reason to murder others.. don't, just do suicide by cop by like taking someone hostage and not killing them yk

 

[XXXWRLD]

I'm sorry you feel that much pain, and hope you can find peace without harming anyone else.

 

[BornByGhosts]

How would you feel if somebody jumped in front of your car while you were on the highway minding your own business? That you became a direct catalyst for someone deciding to end their life?

 

[AerialBoundaries]

Anyone else consider this? Part of me would really like to take some people with me. I'm becoming more homicidal than suicidal lately. I honestly want to make some ppl pay dearly for their selfish, abusive actions. My self-loathing has taken second place to the disdain I have for others. There are times I will drive with a gun in my car and a hunting knife on my belt, hoping someone fucks with me.

I get what you're saying with the homicidal aspect. I have a lot of internalised rage and used to be prone to violence when I was a teenager. It feels like the violence is creeping back in, though. There's times when I go out hoping to be provoked. I won't start anything, but I want them to have a go at me, so I can retaliate and put my hands on them. I essentially want to hurt somebody and not feel guilty after the fact because they started it. It honestly concerns me. I don't want to end up the way I used to be.

In saying that, don't CTB by cop. When it's time to go, this is something that has to be done alone.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I don't feel anyone has the right to make a decision regarding whether someone else lives or dies. The only person you are the "boss" of is you. You don't have a right to make that decision for anyone other than you, no matter what they did to you. If you feel the need to pursue justice, becoming "judge, jury, and executioner" is not the way.

And BTW, don't make others do your bidding, either (CTB by cop). If you want out of life, that's fine. It's something we have to do for ourselves.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

My little brother choose this way 4 years ago.
One of the officers that shot him, a young guy, is now one of 'us'
Don't drag others into your wish to leave this world.

 

[KowakuNaiNeko]

It sounds like you're trying to justify homicide by imagining that whoever dies would have otherwise caused more suffering but you're almost certainly wrong. Murder creates ripples that hurt A LOT of people very badly and causes a lot of second order and third order effects that you can't predict. Just focus on yourself.

As far as CTB by cop I think the only time I would consider it is as an act of desperation if I was being hospitalized/arrested from my house and happened to have a gun. Failure would make any future CTB attempts rather difficult for many years.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Anyone else consider this? Part of me would really like to take some people with me. I'm becoming more homicidal than suicidal lately. I honestly want to make some ppl pay dearly for their selfish, abusive actions. My self-loathing has taken second place to the disdain I have for others. There are times I will drive with a gun in my car and a hunting knife on my belt, hoping someone fucks with me.

I can certainly understand your anger. Society is unbelievably selfish. Very little in society is done for others but instead for themselves. As far as what you are saying... I think you are taking a monumental risk. For one things like tasers exist, two you are just as likely to not die, and three if you fail you are looking at serious prison time where you are going to be infinitely more miserable.... That said in my state you can take college courses and be placed in a job upon release so who knows maybe it's more attractive then I thought. Beats having 150k+ in debt and still not finding a job where no one gives a shit about you. Just a really long free education + job placement program. For me I think it is better if society can become aware of their foibles and hope they change and start caring about people other than themselves. People on the margins forced into isolation by society can be given a reprieve.... That isn't going to happen by murdering a bunch of people and dying by a cop. You'll just be vilified and the cycle will continue. All in all not a great idea. But one I can empathize with.

 

[front of me]

Just surrender, make peace, and let go of hatred and revenge

 

[sunnysidedown]

hurting others would just make me feel even worst... i only want me to die

 

[Exact Change]

Don't worry folks. I'm just venting. I hate when innocent ppl die. But I fantasize about killing the people who hurt my family. And I guess in my fantasy I do myself in

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

hey! i'll let you shoot me ok? just do it a couple times at least so i won't suffer.

 

[evey8112]

I have thought about going out with a bang too. I think the media showing all of these mass shootings makes people with these thoughts believe they are not alone and
they join the club of mass shooters. The only people i would ever attack would be people in the government who take advantage of this society. Other then that i would want no innocent person to be killed.

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

My little brother choose this way 4 years ago.
One of the officers that shot him, a young guy, is now one of 'us'
Don't drag others into your wish to leave this world.

Damn thats tragic ):

hey! i'll let you shoot me ok? just do it a couple times at least so i won't suffer.

LOL this, me too! i want to die ):
im sorry you have these thoughts, i have them too rarely because i hate the world its awful and unfair and cruel, but as long as you recognize that your anger towards random people is irrational you should be ok

 

[SexyIncél]

If you can control your escalation strategy... there's lots of shitty people to attack, in order to help others! (Of course, planning with victims, ideally with their enthusiastic consent, as they predictably bear any costs)

 

[TheRottingContinues]

You would probably be tased before a firearm is pulled