CTB because of fear

[casctb]

Idk I feel like I might be alone in that I don't want to die because I'm in pain necessarily but more so because I'm afraid of getting better just to feel more pain. I hate pain and since life guarantees pain I don't want to live. It makes me feel so frustrated and trapped at the thought of going through pain.

Can any of you relate? Or at least understand where I'm coming from?

 

[rikamonie]

i understand this, i sometimes feel that too, i mean i want to die because i am in pain with life, but i also dont want to wait to see if i could be happier again because i know i will only have some bad shit happen to me and be in pain and continue to go through this again and again

 

[SpottedPanda]

I can relate. I initially became suicidal in 2014, triggered by nothing but fear, stemming from my paranoia and intense anxiety.

Now I'm tired, after fighting for so long. It's not that I'm necessarily unable to handle life, just that I'm tired of going through the whole ordeal of it.

 

[casctb]

i understand this, i sometimes feel that too, i mean i want to die because i am in pain with life, but i also dont want to wait to see if i could be happier again because i know i will only have some bad shit happen to me and be in pain and continue to go through this again and again

Yeah that's exactly how I feel. I just really don't want to find happiness in anything other than death.

I can relate. I initially became suicidal in 2014, triggered by nothing but fear, stemming from my paranoia and intense anxiety.

Now I'm tired, after fighting for so long. It's not that I'm necessarily unable to handle life, just that I'm tired of going through the whole ordeal of it.

I feel you. I've had social anxiety and just overall fear of life for so long I don't want to fight anymore.