R
RW__Asher23
Global Mod
- Dec 11, 2022
- 183
First I must explain I am person with a fatal illness. It is getting really bad. I live in USA in a State that will allow ctb for us who suffer with this kind of illness. Here is what happened with Dr and I am trying to decide if secretly ask the only one I trust to be with me or not. A dilemma I am facing.
Well I got my order for the hospital Pharmacy to fill for me when I am ready. The Dr said he wants me to resist giving up on trial and to continue with meds and trying to get through to the end of trial before giving up on the new meds. They experimental/trial drugs specific for my 2 illnesses could give me more time but he also acknowledged the pain and terrible side effects and risk of a fatal reaction to the new medicine so he is willing and now has provided this for me. Available at hospital pharmacy. This is what I will get.
Chloral Hydrate 20 g
Pentobarbital 9–15 g
Antiemetics: Metoclopramide 10–20 mg Ondansetron 8 mg
Analgesics Morphine15 mg-3 g
Morphine is optional. He said Pent. with the other meds here will be quick and peaceful end.
By Law I must be alone no one to assist me in any way.
This is only for those with fatal medical condition which will be extremely painful or suffocating for long period. This would end that suffering.
I qualify.
I guess that is good. But I am not wanting to wait the 30+ days after approval. But I accept it. Understand the legal part and do not want anyone with me anyway. Well on second thought I don't want to be alone either incase something goes wrong. Dr says it is def end. Still alone? I don't know.
I am still in clinical trial of new meds. Still taking them but it is painful some days beyond anything I want but then gets better later. It is also causing some Kidney / liver problems so need to check numbers a lot and what I can eat drink how I sleep wear mask on some days. So I know I have not been posting anything in while and this is why. Going through a lot but trying to get through this.
My question if you had this choice would you want be alone or with someone? Who and why? Thanks.
Wish you all Peace.
Well I got my order for the hospital Pharmacy to fill for me when I am ready. The Dr said he wants me to resist giving up on trial and to continue with meds and trying to get through to the end of trial before giving up on the new meds. They experimental/trial drugs specific for my 2 illnesses could give me more time but he also acknowledged the pain and terrible side effects and risk of a fatal reaction to the new medicine so he is willing and now has provided this for me. Available at hospital pharmacy. This is what I will get.
Chloral Hydrate 20 g
Pentobarbital 9–15 g
Antiemetics: Metoclopramide 10–20 mg Ondansetron 8 mg
Analgesics Morphine15 mg-3 g
Morphine is optional. He said Pent. with the other meds here will be quick and peaceful end.
By Law I must be alone no one to assist me in any way.
This is only for those with fatal medical condition which will be extremely painful or suffocating for long period. This would end that suffering.
I qualify.
I guess that is good. But I am not wanting to wait the 30+ days after approval. But I accept it. Understand the legal part and do not want anyone with me anyway. Well on second thought I don't want to be alone either incase something goes wrong. Dr says it is def end. Still alone? I don't know.
I am still in clinical trial of new meds. Still taking them but it is painful some days beyond anything I want but then gets better later. It is also causing some Kidney / liver problems so need to check numbers a lot and what I can eat drink how I sleep wear mask on some days. So I know I have not been posting anything in while and this is why. Going through a lot but trying to get through this.
My question if you had this choice would you want be alone or with someone? Who and why? Thanks.
Wish you all Peace.