LastFlowers
the haru that can read
- Apr 27, 2019
- 2,170
Sounds like a bunch of excuses to me.
When you set the bar low for human decency, don't expect anyone to surpass it or pleasantly surprise you.
There is truth to what you say, but too often we use the "it's in their nature, they can't help it" to excuse unwarranted advances or attachments that are secretly rooted in an expectation of something more.
If we keep calling back to nature as rationale to revert and succumb to more animal-esque tendencies, then we never advance as a species.
So, continue on in your reasoning, but I wouldn't put a period at the end of it.
In other words, it's good to recognize the truth and acknowledge reality, but we should push for transcending it in the future, rather than throwing our hands up in the air and saying "that's just the way it goes, boys will be boys".
One could argue that rape and murder were also once reasoned away as an inevitable course of the organic human 'spirit'.
Now they are punishable by law and for the most part, avoidable by those with any semblance of self control.
As far as uncontrollable thoughts go, there is such a thing as compartmentalizing, also..Mega isn't psychic, they can't read men's minds (or anyone else bothering them). The person Mega spoke to had to have done or said something to make Mega feel uncomfortable (aka prodding questions about their genitalia).
The crime of their thoughts is not what's on trial here.
I'm also not saying it's just men who need to curb their behavior either (in the honest pursuit of friendship), I know plenty of women tend to gravitate toward male friends in an effort to get attention without the commitment of a relationship, and this blurs the boundaries. (I'm sure it's an issue that extends outside of heterosexual relationships too.)
Some women also go with the flow of the whole "men just being men" to the point they will let long term male friends get away with sending them unsolicited dick pics and creepy messages, sprinkled in through out the years of their relationship, especially when one party or the other suddenly becomes single. This should not be acceptable. And the forgiveness that perpetuates it, should also, not be acceptable.
Another simple suggestion for people with this issue: Intentions need to be clarified.
Preferably, from the start.
I think that's part of the problem here too.
Communication is not happening in a direct and blunt manner. Though I agree with Mega, that we should caution ourselves to always approach a stranger platonically, especially in the context of an online pro-choice forum. I know my previous comment outlined how this site is not going to be able to filter away all the nuisances that are present in every other corner of the web, but I also don't think that means they should accept inappropriate conversation on the basis that they should have expected it.
