Discussion Cowardice

[derpyderpins]

So I'm standing here, trying to find a good place. The place where I am isn't all that great. There are a lot of roads around me going off in different directions. I've gone down so many roads that were dead ends or where I got hurt, and even though the place where I am is pretty crap, I'm terrified to look down more roads. Not only could it lead to more heartache, but every road I go down and see to the end . . . there will be one fewer road available. I see a handful of roads left that look great. They might take me to a great place. I like thinking about the great place they might take me. If I go down those roads and look for the great place, and it's another dead end. . . I'll no longer be able to imagine the great place that might be, because I've confirmed it's not there. So, I really don't want to stay here, but I'm even more afraid of going down the last of my roads. I'll just sit here, feel bad for myself, and imagine.

What are your thoughts on cowardice? Let's say you've written a song you want people to hear, or there is someone you'd like to be closer with. If you play people the song, they may not like it. If you ask the person to be closer to you, they may say 'no'. Then, you can't imagine how nice it will be to have people like your song or be close with that person. Is cowardice the right choice to minimize pain?

 

[carac]

As some who lived with a life time of chronic pain I would still say it's better to take the pain than to be ruled by fear.

Fear is the mind killer, fear is the little death that leads to total obliteration

 

[derpyderpins]

As some who lived with a life time of chronic pain I would still say it's better to take the pain than to be ruled by fear.

Fear is the mind killer, fear is the little death that leads to total obliteration

Thanks for the response. My instinct is that you're right but I wanted to fish out some logic so I appreciate the input.

 

[Pluto]

I don't know what to say to this. I've made 'bold' moves before that turned out to be traumatic disasters. But I also look back and regret how much I've hid in the shadows due to fear. Thus far, I've concluded that for me, being born was a major misstep.

 

[derpyderpins]

I don't know what to say to this. I've made 'bold' moves before that turned out to be traumatic disasters. But I also look back and regret how much I've hid in the shadows due to fear. Thus far, I've concluded that for me, being born was a major misstep.

It's a tough question of human nature, isn't it? I'm glad you seem to understand the dilemma I'm pondering.

For me, I'd say I've mostly played things safe out of fear. Largely fear of rejection. Look at this post: I give a metaphor presenting external dilemma, but then the examples I give are both about internal dilemma. I didn't use the example of choosing a certain career path or investing a certain way, I used two examples where others would judge me.

Perhaps the topic is flawed and what I really want to talk about is the difficulty of facing the self.

 

[Pluto]

I guess on balance, the best advice I can give is to be open to pursuing your dreams, but be very open to advice from older people with life experience. Perhaps 'measure twice, cut once' is the best analogy.

Having said that, there was one time when I ignored all expert advice and went on to achieve something major which shocked everyone. Can't give details obviously. Sometimes it is young and reckless people who end up real movers and shakers. But my brief success emboldened me to go on to ignore commonsense and invest in go-nowhere projects that wasted my youth.

Right now, if I could have my time again I would have focused on boring stuff like physical fitness and home ownership from the very beginning; exactly the sort of advice I used to take pride in disregarding.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

What are your thoughts on cowardice? Let's say you've written a song you want people to hear, or there is someone you'd like to be closer with. If you play people the song, they may not like it. If you ask the person to be closer to you, they may say 'no'. Then, you can't imagine how nice it will be to have people like your song or be close with that person. Is cowardice the right choice to minimize pain?

I think cowardice is probably the main driving force of myself. It both keeps me alive and wills me to die to avoid all future frights. I'm not sure if it's necessarily cowardly to simply not give someone something they never knew they might get from you but I guess I'm not the best expert on how to deal with hesitancy since I have never really been able to conquer it either.

I think my cowardice would have reached so far that I would not even have bothered to write a song or engage in any such personal creative endeavor in the first place. After all, why should I expend that energy knowing I'm going to worry about its outcome anyway? I suppose that's why I could never be a YouTube creator. For you to have already written it means you're doing something right. I'm not sure who you mean this for or what the worst that could happen would be though.

 

[derpyderpins]

I think cowardice is probably the main driving force of myself. It both keeps me alive and wills me to die to avoid all future frights. I'm not sure if it's necessarily cowardly to simply not give someone something they never knew they might get from you but I guess I'm not the best expert on how to deal with hesitancy since I have never really been able to conquer it either.

I think my cowardice would have reached so far that I would not even have bothered to write a song or engage in any such personal creative endeavor in the first place. After all, why should I expend that energy knowing I'm going to worry about its outcome anyway? I suppose that's why I could never be a YouTube creator. For you to have already written it means you're doing something right. I'm not sure who you mean this for or what the worst that could happen would be though.

I hear you. I kept things vague on purpose, just to focus on the topic. There is a situation I'm thinking about but I didn't divulge it.

I think you raise a good point about the person not knowing something was going to be offered for their approval, and I think I might be more concerned with the inward implications (rejection) than the outward implications of success or failure.

 

[MyLifeisHell]

The potential emotional pain you spare yourself isn't worth the massive regret you'll feel for the rest of your life at your inaction and timidity.