Discussion Courage and procrastination to ctb

[asgoodasdead]

I have my materials, have practiced, and even have a checklist for the days leading up to it. Heck, I could literally do it rn and it's most likely to be successful. Yet, I wouldn't be satisfied with my ctb. I have unfinished drafts of my notes that I am BADLY PROCRASINSTING THEM. It genuinely feels like a school assignment that "has to be done." It's so fucking stupid. But when I do get myself settles to write even for a little, I find, strangely, a lot of comfort in it. It helps my thoughts. I just need any advice to continue to force me to write.

With the other thing, I'm afraid that I'll chicken out the day of even though I know it's for the better. I've delayed this for over 8 years now. How do I even maintain the courage to do so? I feel pathetic.