Could really use encouragement right now

[wantingdignity]

I'm drowning in depressiveness at the moment. I feel really lost and sad. I came so close to dying earlier this year. Now that I'm not dead I don't know what to do. The things I want to do aren't sustainable. I'm broke and don't know how not to be. I really don't want to go to work. I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm so lonely and so broke. It should not be this hard.

I really don't want to hurt the people that I love, but I really just don't want to be here anymore. I feel like this world is falling apart and it hurts to watch everything turn to shit. I wish that there was a way for me to die without hurting anyone.

 

[getoutgirl]

Hi
I remember you coming out of what you did, how hard that was and the effort and strenght you showed. I don't that's gone either now, even if the circumstances aren't great again.
I haven't been following exactly what you've been through lately or your present circumstances, i'm not gonna offer advice or pretend to know what you need. But if you need some comfort and encouragement i can tell you that i saw you push out of that one and you can push out of this one still. You are very strong, resilient even if you don't feel so, it's evidenced. I'm sorry you find little energy to do much... sometimes it is that hard and it just sucks. You are not alone though. Hang in there, that shit will turn back to what it was, and it'll be worth it and easier. Take it very easy if you can is all I could say, slow and easy even if it feels a bit asphyxiating. And do try to push yourself and do the things you know are helpful for you, like talking to people, even if you don't feel like it, the times you are able to. In any case, and beyond any preachiness, just the biggest hugs at you you need and deserve them <33<<33<3<3<3<3