Games Corrupt-A-Wish.

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but every time you give someone a thought, you take one of their own, usually something traumatic or terrifying and it can't be unlearned or given to someone else.

I wish it was March already.

 

[LooksAtMoonDog]

Granted but it's March of 44 BC and you're Julius Caesar.

I wish that every time a politician told a lie they immediately shit their pants.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but that doesn't make a single one of them lie any less. They simply adapt by wearing adult diapers and continue lying as they see fit.

I wish all my facial hair was removed and would stop growing.

 

[MrBlue]

Granted, but your amount of body hair increases and always stays slightly too long

I wish I could stretch like Mr fantastic

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I wish I could stretch like Mr fantastic

Granted. The physical properties of natural rubber are now yours. Excellent tensile strength, elongation, and abrasion resistance and high compression set are your strengths. But of course, there are drawbacks. Resins like rubber are polymers, which have a thing called 'glass transition temperature' i.e. the temperature below at which the polymer becomes brittle, turning into, well… glass. As such, the biggest threat to you are people who can manipulate ice.

Unknown to you, your next-door neighbour is one such individual, and s/he is a psychopath. S/he can freeze things to atomic levels and make them fragile – your Achilles heel given human form. His/her favourite pastime is torture, and dozens of innocent cats and dogs have already been subjected to slow, excruciating deaths. Despite keeping your powers a secret from most, s/he has somehow managed to find out about your 'gift'. As you seem like the perfect guinea pig to test his/her powers on, s/he has become obsessed with you, and can't wait to make you his/her new toy. When s/he arrives at your doorstep it will be a fight to the death...

(Dang, brilliant corruption as usual.)

Thanks .

I wish I could psychically transfer heat to and from things, both to chill them to sub zero temperatures and to heat them up to the extreme.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but your body itself is not actually immune to the temperatures. While you physically can transfer critically low or high temperatures, they still feel just as hot or cold as they are while touching your body. Oh and your powers don't work if you use any form of protective gear, not even oven mitts.

I wish I had a better sleep schedule.

 

[TheFifthDay]

Granted, you now instantly and permanently fall unconscious between 10pm and 6am and absolutely cannot be awoken regardless of the situation at hand.

I wish my clothes were clean

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but they'll shrink down a size. Everytime you try to clean them again they'll shrink more even if you dry-clean.

I wish there was a cheap pill that could permanently cure heartbreak with no side effects.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

Granted, but it needs some time to take effect. As long as one follows the dosage recommendations, adverse effects, still poorly studied, are not known to occur. However, individuals in severe emotional distress are often not willing to wait. Desperate for relief, many end up taking too many pills. That year sees a surge in overdose deaths, and this causes the drug to be discontinued.

I wish we could keep our political cool, and have civilised conversations about politics.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but the only way to achieve is by removing everyone from a certain side. Doesn't matter which side it is, it gets chosen by random.

I wish I never had to leave my bed.

 

[LooksAtMoonDog]

Granted, but it's a bed on nails.

I wish my phone had infinite battery charge.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but it becomes 100x slower as a result.

I wish I could be the best at something I enjoy doing.

 

[TheFifthDay]

Granted, you're now the best at savoring your favorite food.

I wish the rapture would hurry up and happen

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, you're now the best at savoring your favorite food.

Dang, this one isn't even so bad, just disappointing which makes it even worse. Well done.

I wish the rapture would hurry up and happen

Granted, but you neither get raptured nor get to stay on earth. You get to be in limbo. Your consciousness is stuck in the sky where nobody can get you down and even though you still feel hunger and thirst, you won't die.

I wish I was happy.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

Granted, but you're a very unpopular businessman

I want to be a popular streamer

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but the popularity will get to your head and you are soon bound to be wrapped up in a terrible scandal that causes people to be against you. You are still popular, but mostly for the wrong reasons.

I wish I could instantly create any type of video or movie from my imagination.

 

[TheFifthDay]

Granted, you can create videos but you have to live them firsthand. That includes intrusive thoughts.

I wish my body was always satiated and I never felt hungry.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but now all types of food and nourishment are toxic to you so you can never eat anything again.

I wish I was actually good at video games.

 

[TheFifthDay]

Granted, they're now boring due to the lack of challenge and you no longer have any interest in a majority of them.

I wish the element Iron straight up didn't exist

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted but deleting iron takes all magnetic forces along with it disrupting the very balance of every magnetic field in the universe, the amount of chaos this causes is unprecedented and unfathomable. (Not a hard wish to corrupt actually. ;D)

I wish I was physically younger again.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

Granted but now you're self-control is going to stay that age

I wish I could satisfy everyone

 

[TheFifthDay]

Granted, you're now a spineless yes man with absolutely no independent thought or personality.

I wish I didn't have autism

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, you now have the power to get rid of your autism and all you have to do is bully other autistic people to transfer your autism to them. You have to do this at least thirty times to get fully cured too.

I wish I wouldn't act so spazzy around famous people I look up to.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

Granted but you'll know what they're really thinking

I wish I could see the wood for the trees

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I wish the rapture would hurry up and happen

Granted, but for some reason your name isn't included in the Book of Life. As such, you are deemed unworthy, have no place in Heaven, and are doomed to be cast into the lake of fire and brimstone.

I wish I was actually good at video games.

Granted...

As one of the world's top players of a certain 'battle royale' video game, you've been shortlisted by the developers to participate in a real-life version of the game. Gladiatorial battles on a desert island where contestants fight to the death, for the entertainment of online masses.

I wish I was physically younger again.

Granted. From an adult to a teenager to a prepubescent child and so on, your body will keep regressing until you are completely erased from existence.

I wish I could see the wood for the trees

Granted, but this does not change their sad fate of being exploited by us humans for commercial purposes. You can do nothing against the invisible hand of the market, which directly or indirectly, causes millions of acres of forest to be lost annually through deforestation.

Whew... I just caught up

I wish I could fly.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but your arms have to grow freakishly huge, your bones get hollower, and your body goes through a lot of other changes that basically turns you into a giant bird. And after all that, you still need to expend a lot of energy to get off the ground?

I wish I had had rich parents when I was growing up.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

Granted but they were to preoccupied with success to actually be parents, so you were raised by Jeff Bezos and have secured a zero-hours packing job for life

I wish I could leave this site

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but you wind up on 4chan and being unable to leave there instead.

I wish I was never too cold or hot.

 

[readyforsleep]

Granted, but everyone around you is always too cold or too hot

I wish I were a better person

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted but the world is already even crueler to better people. Reality will just keep finding ways to bring you back down and even if you never actually will become less better, it will still be like torture.

I wish Smash Ultimate's online service wasn't so terrible.