Games Corrupt-A-Wish.

[nolongerhuman]

Granted. Now it's your consoles internet connection that's terrible. You still aren't having fun.

I wish for a good night's sleep.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but after it you get a bad day of being awake.

I wish everyone would be okay with me dying.

 

[LooksAtMoonDog]

Granted, everyone is OK with you dying because you're the worst serial killer in the last 100 years.

I wish I had an unlimited supply of green tea.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but you lose everything else you possess including your house and clothes and you can't sell the green tea because you have nothing to store it in, just endless piles of green tea powder not even money to buy water to use it on.

I wish I had a credit card with infinite money on it that I never had to pay back.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I wish I had a credit card with infinite money on it that I never had to pay back.

Granted, but the sugar mama that handed it to you demands your unquestioning loyalty and 24/7 'commitment'.

I wish shaving your head/being bald were socially acceptable.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but that's only the case because everyone now has cancer.

I wish batteries could be thrown away with regular trash.

Granted, but the sugar mama that handed it to you demands your unquestioning loyalty and 24/7 'commitment'.

That's more like a double win for me.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I wish batteries could be thrown away with regular trash.

Granted, but recycling is now mandatory and consumers are required to follow sorting guidelines—lightweight packaging, glass, paper, compost, batteries etc. Failure to comply will result in a hefty fine and possible jail term. Quite simply, it's a process that requires Zen-like patience.

I wish NEETdom were socially acceptable.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but to do that, the Covid pandemic gets even worse and mutates to a point where vaccines are useless and we all have to quarantine for at least another 30 years only after then does living as a NEET become acceptable because almost nobody will not be a NEET anymore.

I wish that everybody who feels lonely in romance right now will find and be able to be with their true love by Valentines Day.

 

[Antigonish]

Granted, but to do that, the Covid pandemic gets even worse and mutates to a point where vaccines are useless and we all have to quarantine for at least another 30 years only after then does living as a NEET become acceptable because almost nobody will not be a NEET anymore.

I wish that everybody who feels lonely in romance right now will find and be able to be with their true love by Valentines Day.

Kinda already happening.

Granted, but your true love is a nymphomaniac who can't stop having sex with anyone and everyone.

Wish I could fly.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted but you have to go through the American TSA every time you go higher than 1 meter off the ground and you have to have all important travel documents with you at all times.

I wish cars could fly.

 

[Antigonish]

Granted but they are powered by the blood of new borns. And the all require atleast 10 gallons.

Wish everything was yellow.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but you become colorblind as soon as it happens so now it all just looks light gray.

I wish I wasn't such a coward.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I wish I wasn't such a coward.

Granted. Your newfound courage has you taking up every gauntlet and performing heroic deeds throughout the land—dragon-slaying, bandit strongholds, you name it. Soon you become known far and wide as a hero, an ally of justice and a defender of the downtrodden. All seems to be good, but as humans are lazy by nature, there comes a time when you are pestered day and night by a populace unwilling to do their own problem-solving, as "someone else will do it". To put it bluntly, you become their 'go-to guy'. Although you are aware, such an esteemed position leaves you unable to turn down requests and before long you become burdened by burnout.

I wish I was a master lock-picker.

 

[Makko]

Granted. You can flawlessly pick any lock, but never find anything worthwhile on the other side.

I wish I could go to space.

 

[Scribble Fan]

Granted, you can go to space but you can't come back down.

I wish I had the guts to CTB lol

 

[262653]

Granted, you could CTB if you weren't on involuntarily life support.

I wish I was a shapeshifter.

 

[Makko]

Granted. You can now shapeshift into a pair of striped stockings.

I wish I had some orange juice right now.

 

[Scribble Fan]

Granted, the orange juice has a dead beetle floating in it.

I wish I could stick my head out the window into the freezing cold and scream until I feel better without anyone calling the police.

 

[Makko]

Granted. They instead call a posse of insane clowns who throw rotten eggs and tomatoes at your head every time it sticks out.

I wish I could set things on fire with my mind.

 

[Scribble Fan]

Granted! Every time you headbutt something it sets that thing on fire, including some your hair.

I wish I could draw like a pro~

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but you can only draw pornography. It's really good looking pornography though.

I wish cancel culture wasn't a thing and that famous people who didn't actually commit any crimes were allowed to keep their jobs/careers.

 

[Scribble Fan]

Granted, now all famous people who haven't actually committed any crimes start spewing ridiculous amounts of unchecked hate speech and get away with it.

I wish I could just relax and not have PTSD and Anxiety get in the way.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but your stress was somehow holding the fabric of reality together, as soon as you let go it rewrites itself to become a nightmare dystopia for everyone on earth but at least you still don't have anxiety from it.

I wish I could be physically younger.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I wish I could be physically younger.

Granted. You now have the body of a preadolescent child but the mind of a mature adult, and the way you handle yourself makes you stick out like a sore thumb. While you gain the admiration and adoration of your peers, the adults aren't too fond of your personality and seek to 're-educate' you. The nail that sticks out gets hammered down, after all.

Granted, but your stress was somehow holding the fabric of reality together, as soon as you let go it rewrites itself to become a nightmare dystopia for everyone on earth but at least you still don't have anxiety from it.

I wish I was a shapeshifter.

Granted, but you retain your human abilities and can only shift back at the end of the animal's natural lifespan. In an era where freaks of nature are the talk of the town, the day you morph into a cat is the day you begin your new life as an exhibit at a circus freakshow: Talking Tom.

I wish I could set things on fire with my mind.

Granted, but every time you use your powers you are overcome by such mental anguish as if you have been set on fire.

I wish I could see through lies and deception.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I wish I could see through lies and deception.

Granted, but by becoming the world's only truly 100% accurate lie detector, you are subjected to solving crimes all day long and serving the government. You also don't get to tell any lie or commit any deception yourself because the same force prevents you from doing so.

I wish everyone who disagrees with me would just have their minds altered until they do.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I wish everyone who disagrees with me would just have their minds altered until they do.

Granted. The dark entity you made a pact with instructs you to construct straw effigies of your intended victims. Invoking their power makes your victims do your bidding without question, but each of them can only fulfil a single request. Once they have served their purpose, they will die. There they will rise from the grave as revenants, hellbent on exacting revenge on the one who brought about their untimely demise. Not to mention there will come a time where you will have to keep your end of the bargain...

I wish people could talk about politics without getting heated.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I wish people could talk about politics without getting heated.

Granted, but still nothing gets done and no meaningful political change occurs as a result. The media also loses most of its money without its ability to politically rile people up which causes all entertainment to end.

I wish I was good at something useful.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I wish I was good at something useful.

Granted, but even so you are barely able to put food on the table. Members of your caste—peasants and the working class—are considered dispensable by fat cats in the upper echelons of society, who get rich at your expense. You thus live in constant fear of losing your job and being forced onto the streets.

I wish the rich-poor gap did not exist.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, quite easily in fact. All wealth is taken away from everybody. Nobody owns anything that holds any value anymore, not even their own thoughts, ideas, or bodies. Living assets such as livestock and pets were either slaughtered or set free. All currency and jewelry was also burned.

Either that or the Chinese government takes over the world, claims to have reduced wealth inequality by installing their glorious communist regime, and things don't actually change in reality but the wealth gap is gone anyway because China says it is.

I think it might be easy to tell, but... I wish the communists had never taken over China and that the empire was still around.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I think it might be easy to tell, but... I wish the communists had never taken over China and that the empire was still around.

The Qing government-in-exile returns after the Sino-Japanese war to claim its rightful place as sovereign. With the help of foreign mercenaries and loyalists within the country, its political enemies the CCP and the KMT, along with their supporters were massacred in a bloody purge. Having learned from the mistakes of its incompetent predecessors, the Qing royal family reinstates its mandate as the divine rulers of the Middle Kingdom, and seeks to make her a superpower on par with the West. The new government promises peace, progress, and prosperity to its citizens and all appears well, but there is more to this than meets the eye...

Many forget the Manchus are a minority group. With them in power, the majority Han Chinese are treated as second-class citizens. The ancient Chinese caste system is reintroduced, and with it comes widespread discrimination and human rights violations. All are to pay tribute to the Emperor, and those who fail to do so face imprisonment or even death. As Qing China seeks to isolate itself foreign influences, censorship is rampant as it shuts out the rest of the world. Uprisings against the authoritarian regime are brutally suppressed, provoking a mass exodus of refugees desperate to break free from the yoke of oppression.

Under the Qing government's expansionist policies, anyone considered physically fit is forcefully conscripted. Much of the national budget is spent on training personnel, R&D and arms purchase, in particular ramping up its nuclear arsenal. Once Qing China has built up a substantial military force, it begins to make advances on the weaker surrounding nations. The annexation of Hong Kong and Taiwan causes East-West tensions to rise as Qing China sets her sights on new territories, much to the worry of the nations of the world.

I wish I was a cat.