Venting Coronavirus broke my suicide plans!

[DoNotLet2]

Ok so I got an opinion about society but I might be wrong.
It used to be always just a small percentage of thinking people, the rest was working and almost everything was fine. But now everybody has to think! And it simply doesn't work because people never had to do it before!

 

[Luchs]

Ok so I got an opinion about society but I might be wrong.
It used to be always just a small percentage of thinking people, the rest was working and almost everything was fine. But now everybody has to think! And it simply doesn't work because people never had to do it before!

I agree. I hate thinking. I've got a very active internal monologue, and when I'm not telling myself how worthless I am I'm thinking about stuff, and I hate it. The more I think the less everything makes sense. I'd give everything to ba a worker drone in a early 20th century steel mill or stuff like that. A simple life, no time to think, just work.

 

[eksded]

I agree. I hate thinking. I've got a very active internal monologue, and when I'm not telling myself how worthless I am I'm thinking about stuff, and I hate it. The more I think the less everything makes sense. I'd give everything to ba a worker drone in a early 20th century steel mill or stuff like that. A simple life, no time to think, just work.

Yes definitely. The horror of human consciousness is that all it seeks is to kill itself. We were happiest when we were just apes that acted simply by our feelings.

 

[Luchs]

Yes definitely. The horror of human consciousness is that all it seeks is to kill itself. We were happiest when we were just apes that acted simply by our feelings.

If it was an option I'd let myself be lobotomized. I hate overthinking everything. Since I went through my scpetical youth phase a few years ago and thought about everything that I came across my worldview turned to jelly. Everything is so complicated, with so much contradictions nothing makes sense, it is almost as if objectivity doesn't exist anymore and logic turned into spaghetti that then went down the drain.

 

[DoNotLet2]

Nope I don't mean self hurting I mean deciding.
Yes democracy is great and super and awesome but there is a problem. People have never had to decide. And school makes everything worse because at school you can choose shit like really. And then wow you can choose anything! People simply can't do that so they get used but I might be wrong.

 

[Life sucks]

I'm sorry this happened to you because of this global pandemic. But its not your fault at all. This life is shit and humans are toxic. This pandemic tells us one part of shit which is biology. Its not your fault and its not the fault of the technological stuff like what some say here. Humans are inherently toxic and whatever tool they use, it would be used in a toxic way. Good people using the internet won't make a problem while toxic ones would make problems. Don't listen to this backward stuff that tries to blame your misery and many of us on this planet on the technological tools that has absolutely nothing to do with it. Instead of admitting how life is shit and humans are toxic (which is for the whole history of humanity). You are not faulty at all, we are all victims of this shitty life. We have internet and would help each other in these hard times unlike the old times when there is no hope of contacting similar minded people. I know its hard to get your plans ruined but don't think its your fault or you are unlucky person. Its not your fault, life is shit

 

[Lightyagami]

Ok, I gotta vent.
I am fuckin disrespected everywhere, even here I'm being ignored. It's not anyone's fault but mine because my autism makes me unable to see my social mistakes and there is no solution, I can't learn it despite my best intentions. So why even bother by living? Why not die?

I had a very simple plan. Learn how to commit suicide by SN, then take SN to a forest, go deep enough and then die. I can't commit suicide at home, because I still live with my parents, because I'm finishing my high school. Perfect plan what could go wrong?

Coronavirus!! Forests and parks are shut down, traffic is limited, you can go to shops or something... I simply can't go to forest and commit suicide. Coronavirus fuck you. I don't know how long it will last. Maybe 2 months maybe 2 years? 2 years is way more than enough to let me finish my high school. Ehhh It looks like I will have to live for a while and idk what after that.

maybe it will get better for u

 

[Lightyagami]

Maybe it's for the best. Finish high school, wait for this epidemic to subside. Things could look a lot brighter

at the same time could also get worse

 

[Creekalalia]

Am I a weirdo because I don't really like Facebook? XD I really made an account there just because of the social pressure. I use it every day because I have little choice. Use Facebook or don't be up to date. But I find it really boring honestly.

Partial-Elf I'm Polish it doesn't work that way unfortunately. Here in Poland only students' results matter, their psyche doesn't and my teacher has too good results to be out.

I used to spend hours upon hours on FB. Then I realized it was sometimes fun and funny, but most times too much drama and hatred and politics. I only check it about once every three months now - and I have to say, the drama and sour feelings have virtually disappeared from my life. Technology is great most of the time, but FB, in my opinion, is not. It can turn friend into enemies because you are missing the inflection of the voice, the facial exression, etc. and a lot can get misinterpreted and create drama and anger. I am a much happier person without it. I didn't delete it because sometimes I like to keep in touch with geographical distant friends and family - but just checking it every few months worked for me.

 

[I_love_to_bake]

It is less about the quality of things and more about the social impact. The internet is a breeding hround for crime, degeneracy and extremism. Through social media there have come things like witchhunts and cancel culture, where people get their lifes ruined, often without a good reason or proof. I think the internet is degrading so people, culture and society as a whole.

I wish you weren't so right. Worldwide ctb rates started climbing right as soon as internet access became mainstream, and continue to climb as internet use becomes more ingrained into our society. The coronavirus accelerated us right to the conclusion: a life spent in front of a screen.

 

[DoNotLet2]

@Life sucks aww thanks ur nice <3 @Lightyagami you nice too.

I mean I think it's dumb that the internet is represented by shit such as Facebook and similar. Internet is a good place but with bad websites.

EDIT: @I_love_to_bake there are some unsolved problems with the internet such as hate, safety and etc. Before you could have been hated by 10 people at once, now you can be hated by 10,000 people at once! It's insane, I mean I'm mostly hate-immune but many people aren't. And internet means comparison. Say what you want but I think stories such as "he turned his life from Hell to Heaven" make people actually more suicidal than saying nothing. It's like "Oh no I'm so weak, I will better go kill myself".

 

[darkhorse256]

I feel you. I was about to travel to a country where SN was legal and take it there. Can't even do that now due to corona. I can't go outside to find a tall building either because of the lockdown so I can't even jump. I'm stuck with my horrible family so I really can't do anything.

 

[DoNotLet2]

*hugs* I feel sorry for you.

 

[darkhorse256]

Thank you for the hug. The whole lockdown thing is horrible for me because on top of having to do uni stuff online (which is far worse than studying in school), I have to deal with my family who don't care that I've been sexually assaulted. They keep asking what's wrong with me and why I can't deal with my schoolwork like a regular person even though my abuser almost killed me. I lay in bed every night wishing he did. He was doing it long enough that I would've passed out and he would've killed me if he held on a little longer. I had a gut instinct to listen to his demands to save my own life and I regret that every day.

 

[Partial-Elf]

Am I a weirdo because I don't really like Facebook? XD I really made an account there just because of the social pressure. I use it every day because I have little choice. Use Facebook or don't be up to date. But I find it really boring honestly.

Partial-Elf I'm Polish it doesn't work that way unfortunately. Here in Poland only students' results matter, their psyche doesn't and my teacher has too good results to be out.

Wow, that's inhumane. Could not be more different from where I am, it's all a likability game

 

[EveryBreathIsWar]

Your not the only one, this has affected quite a few people's plans including mine. I've got everything I need however I need to travel 500 miles and I can't because of the lockdown and no one truly knows how long this will go on for so may have to change method to enable me to do this at home however the last thing i ever wanted to do was ctb around family but desperate times, desperate measures I guess.. Sorry to all those in the same predicament, EBIW.

 

[JohnUK]

Same here. I was planning on going to beachy head cliffs on the south coast of England and jump from it. I'm now planning to hang at home.

 

[Lightyagami]

Same here. I was planning on going to beachy head cliffs on the south coast of England and jump from it. I'm now planning to hang at home.

That sad to hear

 

[EveryBreathIsWar]

Same here. I was planning on going to beachy head cliffs on the south coast of England and jump from it. I'm now planning to hang at home.

Same, sorry your plan had been crushed like mine. Wishing you all the best and a peaceful transition my friend. EBIW.

 

[itsamadworld]

People have ruined everything, the internet wouldn't exist with out people

but yes cornavirus sucks holding out because the world has gone to shit

Haha True that! People ruin everything, including the environment. No wonder there's corona virus, Nature tryin to correct itself from the human virus!

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I can relate. My goal was to jump off a particular bridge. But due to tall the protests, that bridge is now filled with cops and people 24/7 :(

 

[Calendar]

I'm sorry you've been bullied and treated badly. I'm sorry you're hurting. I do not know you, but I've got nothing but love and light for you. Which you deserve so much of.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I'm sorry you've been bullied and treated badly. I'm sorry you're hurting. I do not know you, but I've got nothing but love and light for you. Which you deserve so much of.

Thank you so much. In way, me dying would be a way of getting back at everyone who hurt me. Its not fair to have to live with all this trauma that not even therapy can heal

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I hope so but I don't think I can make it... I am not strong by any means.
It is too much for me. My "teacher" bullies me via internet, my classmates hate me for no reason, in the internet I get nothing but hate. Maybe people have it worse, but I'm not strong to deal with it myself.

Not wanting to be bullied, or being unable to deal with bullies isn't a sign that you are "not strong." Bullying is disgusting and there is never a reason to do it, so you shouldn't have to deal with it; they are the ones who are in the wrong not you. The same goes for unwarranted hatred.

You mention that you think other people might have it worse than you, but that doesn't matter. You are a human, and humans suffer; your pain matters just as much as others. Your position in life, wherever you are, doesn't invalidate that.

 

[DoNotLet2]

Thanks for your support guys. I still have to educate myself on the topic of SN so it won't be soon.