Hi,
I'm new here. Been scrolling the forum and browsing the internet for methods for months now. I've been depressed and 'not-at-home' for a long time. Managed to distract myself through life but now I've come to the point where I've thrown in the towel. There might be hope for me, but right now I just don't see any, at all. The world is slowly collapsing around me, I'm having a harder time relating to people and I am just completely goalless. I have thought long and hard on what my purpose in life should be and I've always tried to just enjoy what there was to enjoy. Now, I feel like I've kind of seen and did all what I had to see and do - I think I have become anhedonic.
I want to first thank this forum for creating a place where this stuff can be openly discussed. A place where people like me and you can be understood without the cliché remarks that we all hear in our direct surroundings when bringing up this topic.
Now; I have been reading up on all the methods. Obviously a good shot of nembutal would seem the best way out; but with the amount of scammers and the lack of means to verify actual product I have decided against going that route. I need something that will work. The SN method doesn't really vibe with me so I will pass on that. Hanging, no thank you. Trains or busses or jumping, no thank you. My SI is too strong for that. I have stood next to the tracks and sat atop buildings. I don't see how I could ever do that. Strangely enough, my body would rather live through constant anxiety, loneliness and menetal anguish than to overcome the fear of executing such an act.
I have read up on combining benzodiazepines, opiods and alcohol. All of which I can relatively easily come by. I have a bunch of benzos ready to go - but against all that google searches and research papers seem to insinuate, overdosing on a bunch of these medications with a fatal outcome seem to be rather rare and would come down to luck. Although I have really enjoyed long blackout sleeps on valium. I am being careful with taking these to calm my nerves, however, because I don't want to fall into withdrawal which would make my life worse than it already is.
The CO method seems like a very decent way to go. I am in the process of collecting all that I need and I am finding some peace in being in the process of preparing - however, I have also read many stories of people failing and the idea of becoming half braindead or physically disabled gives me some doubt about this method. I guess with the proper prep it should be a surefire to CTB succesfully.
What surprises me is that I have seen nobody on this forum, and actually otherwise, talking about death by hypothermia. I realise that if you would do this sober it would be a terrible way to go. Like drowning, you get to suffer quite a bit before the actual peaceful part sets in - which is supposedly only the last moments. But, having said that, I have read many stories about people being quite drunk and passing out in the cold and passing away because of it.
So here is my current idea; I am thinking of combining some of these methods. My primary idea right now is to do it in wintertime on a nice windy, preferably snowy, night. I'll prepare by getting blasted during the day. I normally don't drink so I'll get quite wasted on not too much alcohol. Maybe I'll even start the evening before and pull an all nighter to make sure I'm feeling confident and warm. Then I'll crawl in a pre-pitched tent and pop a bunch of benzo's so I'll doze off faster than I can say benzodiazpine-overdose. I could prepare some charcoal to have CO in the tent, as well, although I think I won't even bother. My main idea is to just freeze to death while being passed out in the tent. I've read that in 0 degree celcius, if you're naked or minimally clothed, you'll likely be gone in 2-5 hours. If you're wet and in windy conditions it can go even faster than that. This should, theoretically, be easily succesful. The alcohol and benzos will counter shivering and I'll be passed out anyway (I have stocked up on diazepam, lorazepam, oxazepam and tramadol - if I were to take a nice combo of these I wouldn't even have to go super-OD mode in order to sleep for 3 days easy, right?)
Any ideas or suggestions? I'm wondering if this would actually work. Would suck to wake up with frostbitten limbs, that's for sure. But reading the stories on people dying of hypothermia in under 24 hours adding to that the amount of time that people can be passed out on alcohol/benzo/opiod combos I feel like this should be a surefire way to CTB.
Thanks for your time to read this and am curious to find out your thoughts on this.
I'm new here. Been scrolling the forum and browsing the internet for methods for months now. I've been depressed and 'not-at-home' for a long time. Managed to distract myself through life but now I've come to the point where I've thrown in the towel. There might be hope for me, but right now I just don't see any, at all. The world is slowly collapsing around me, I'm having a harder time relating to people and I am just completely goalless. I have thought long and hard on what my purpose in life should be and I've always tried to just enjoy what there was to enjoy. Now, I feel like I've kind of seen and did all what I had to see and do - I think I have become anhedonic.
I want to first thank this forum for creating a place where this stuff can be openly discussed. A place where people like me and you can be understood without the cliché remarks that we all hear in our direct surroundings when bringing up this topic.
Now; I have been reading up on all the methods. Obviously a good shot of nembutal would seem the best way out; but with the amount of scammers and the lack of means to verify actual product I have decided against going that route. I need something that will work. The SN method doesn't really vibe with me so I will pass on that. Hanging, no thank you. Trains or busses or jumping, no thank you. My SI is too strong for that. I have stood next to the tracks and sat atop buildings. I don't see how I could ever do that. Strangely enough, my body would rather live through constant anxiety, loneliness and menetal anguish than to overcome the fear of executing such an act.
I have read up on combining benzodiazepines, opiods and alcohol. All of which I can relatively easily come by. I have a bunch of benzos ready to go - but against all that google searches and research papers seem to insinuate, overdosing on a bunch of these medications with a fatal outcome seem to be rather rare and would come down to luck. Although I have really enjoyed long blackout sleeps on valium. I am being careful with taking these to calm my nerves, however, because I don't want to fall into withdrawal which would make my life worse than it already is.
The CO method seems like a very decent way to go. I am in the process of collecting all that I need and I am finding some peace in being in the process of preparing - however, I have also read many stories of people failing and the idea of becoming half braindead or physically disabled gives me some doubt about this method. I guess with the proper prep it should be a surefire to CTB succesfully.
What surprises me is that I have seen nobody on this forum, and actually otherwise, talking about death by hypothermia. I realise that if you would do this sober it would be a terrible way to go. Like drowning, you get to suffer quite a bit before the actual peaceful part sets in - which is supposedly only the last moments. But, having said that, I have read many stories about people being quite drunk and passing out in the cold and passing away because of it.
So here is my current idea; I am thinking of combining some of these methods. My primary idea right now is to do it in wintertime on a nice windy, preferably snowy, night. I'll prepare by getting blasted during the day. I normally don't drink so I'll get quite wasted on not too much alcohol. Maybe I'll even start the evening before and pull an all nighter to make sure I'm feeling confident and warm. Then I'll crawl in a pre-pitched tent and pop a bunch of benzo's so I'll doze off faster than I can say benzodiazpine-overdose. I could prepare some charcoal to have CO in the tent, as well, although I think I won't even bother. My main idea is to just freeze to death while being passed out in the tent. I've read that in 0 degree celcius, if you're naked or minimally clothed, you'll likely be gone in 2-5 hours. If you're wet and in windy conditions it can go even faster than that. This should, theoretically, be easily succesful. The alcohol and benzos will counter shivering and I'll be passed out anyway (I have stocked up on diazepam, lorazepam, oxazepam and tramadol - if I were to take a nice combo of these I wouldn't even have to go super-OD mode in order to sleep for 3 days easy, right?)
Any ideas or suggestions? I'm wondering if this would actually work. Would suck to wake up with frostbitten limbs, that's for sure. But reading the stories on people dying of hypothermia in under 24 hours adding to that the amount of time that people can be passed out on alcohol/benzo/opiod combos I feel like this should be a surefire way to CTB.
Thanks for your time to read this and am curious to find out your thoughts on this.
