
kovu
unendlichkeit
- Nov 15, 2021
- 84
I let go by each date I set in the past; my only attempt up 'til now was born of impulsivity and, well, didn't end the way I hoped, as one might guess from this post and others. Nonetheless, I've taken a look at 2023 and the future and all, and concluded that Saturday, the 7th of January of 2023, may well be the best date I'll get.
The company I work for has a company-wide vacation until the 9th, so I'll get some rest and at-least-somewhat-peaceful days leading up to my death, as well as the opportunity to see my family one last time tomorrow. Along with having bought my favourite snacks from the local supermarket and being subscribed to streaming services so that I can rewatch my favourite films and all—along with some good books—I'd say it could be worse.
At my first and only attempt, I opted for partial hanging and made an error I'd avoid now; I'm more comfortable in my ability to do it properly this time around. At first, I wasn't even entirely sure if I was sad that I failed then, but that changed: I'm pretty confident now. And I regret letting slip by all my past dates; It could've all been over and done for without lots of needless struggle. Anyway, I'd rent a hotel room roughly a ten to fifteen-minute walk away, take everything I need with me in a rucksack and call it a day—a life—pretty soon after.
I'm writing this quite on impulse—how ironic—for no reason at all; I'm just feeling blue. I'll most likely schedule some bank transactions to give the rest of my money to my sisters, cancel all my subscriptions beforehand and, yeah, not much else to take care of; there hasn't ever really been anything important in my life that'd need to be taken care of now. I'm just sorry for every single person who's ever wasted their time on me, all the teachers and all—a lost cause from the very beginning.
Anyway, I hope you're doing better and wish you all the best.
The company I work for has a company-wide vacation until the 9th, so I'll get some rest and at-least-somewhat-peaceful days leading up to my death, as well as the opportunity to see my family one last time tomorrow. Along with having bought my favourite snacks from the local supermarket and being subscribed to streaming services so that I can rewatch my favourite films and all—along with some good books—I'd say it could be worse.
At my first and only attempt, I opted for partial hanging and made an error I'd avoid now; I'm more comfortable in my ability to do it properly this time around. At first, I wasn't even entirely sure if I was sad that I failed then, but that changed: I'm pretty confident now. And I regret letting slip by all my past dates; It could've all been over and done for without lots of needless struggle. Anyway, I'd rent a hotel room roughly a ten to fifteen-minute walk away, take everything I need with me in a rucksack and call it a day—a life—pretty soon after.
I'm writing this quite on impulse—how ironic—for no reason at all; I'm just feeling blue. I'll most likely schedule some bank transactions to give the rest of my money to my sisters, cancel all my subscriptions beforehand and, yeah, not much else to take care of; there hasn't ever really been anything important in my life that'd need to be taken care of now. I'm just sorry for every single person who's ever wasted their time on me, all the teachers and all—a lost cause from the very beginning.
Anyway, I hope you're doing better and wish you all the best.