catastrophix
and my nightmares will have nightmares every night
- Feb 20, 2023
- 94
Just a warning, this might be a bit all over the place because I've had a very hard time dealing with focusing and such today.
Okay, so—Today I received some upsetting news about one of my much younger family members— They attempted CTB. While I definitely consider myself pro choice, I wouldn't extend all those beliefs onto a kid, which is what this family member is. I can't help but feel so saddened and empathetic for them. This is the first time they ever said or did something harmful to themselves, so it was kind of a shock. Their dad has schizophrenia, and they said that they tried to CTB because of voices in their head telling them to.
I feel so horrible. I know what it's like being their age and having the same symptoms and it just hurts my heart. I've been so numb lately, but this has made me lose my apathy and now I feel so guilty for wanting to make CTB plans while trying to stay positive for my family member. They're so young that they definitely have an above average chance at recovering, now that they are receiving professional help and additional support from family… But I feel like such a fraud, telling them that there is light at the end of the tunnel when my tunnel is still pitch black. IDK how to feel honestly. This whole thing has me thinking about my how my family will react when I eventually CTB. The guilt eats me alive and keeps me up at night.
(Has anyone here ever had a similar experience? I'd like to hear about it if you're okay with sharing it)
Thanks for reading this far, I hope I made sense
(@_@)
Okay, so—Today I received some upsetting news about one of my much younger family members— They attempted CTB. While I definitely consider myself pro choice, I wouldn't extend all those beliefs onto a kid, which is what this family member is. I can't help but feel so saddened and empathetic for them. This is the first time they ever said or did something harmful to themselves, so it was kind of a shock. Their dad has schizophrenia, and they said that they tried to CTB because of voices in their head telling them to.
I feel so horrible. I know what it's like being their age and having the same symptoms and it just hurts my heart. I've been so numb lately, but this has made me lose my apathy and now I feel so guilty for wanting to make CTB plans while trying to stay positive for my family member. They're so young that they definitely have an above average chance at recovering, now that they are receiving professional help and additional support from family… But I feel like such a fraud, telling them that there is light at the end of the tunnel when my tunnel is still pitch black. IDK how to feel honestly. This whole thing has me thinking about my how my family will react when I eventually CTB. The guilt eats me alive and keeps me up at night.
(Has anyone here ever had a similar experience? I'd like to hear about it if you're okay with sharing it)
Thanks for reading this far, I hope I made sense
(@_@)