Venting completely done

[bath salts]

i just ended my friendships with multiple people and i had a breakdown in front of one i am ruining my life right now and i dont care these people have mistreated me and abused my kindness and even when im defending myself i still feel guilty. i love everyone i dont know what i do wrong every time i just feel like the world wants me to die i might ctb tomorrow or the next day because im so distraught right now i am bawling my eyes out and i want to just die i feel like this is all my fault

 

[Donewith_]

Its not your fault.

 

[bath salts]

Its not your fault.

thank you so much i just cant stop feeling like its my fault even though i know its not logically i just hate hurting people because i know how it feels to hurt so badly but i dont think anyone shares that sentiment

 

[sadsadinfp]

If friends are taking advantage of you because they know you have a hard time standing up for yourself, that's not your fault. You're also allowed to stick up for yourself. I struggle with sticking up for myself as well, and feeling guilty when I do, and I actually also had a day a few years ago where basically the same thing happened and I had a big falling out with a couple really old friends, but I kept going. Anyway, I'm really sorry, hope you feel better

thank you so much i just cant stop feeling like its my fault even though i know its not logically i just hate hurting people because i know how it feels to hurt so badly but i dont think anyone shares that sentiment

Not sure if this is helpful, but I feel like you can't really win with a lot of people, they'll tell you to just be honest and straightforward when you feel like you're being mistreated, but then if you are, they get defensive. I think it's best to just be as kind as possible, but apparently a lot of people see kindness as a sign of weakness and an invitation to manipulate people. There are actually some sweet cinnamon rolls out there but you generally don't get to meet them because they're full of anxiety and hide at home :/

 

[bath salts]

If friends are taking advantage of you because they know you have a hard time standing up for yourself, that's not your fault. You're also allowed to stick up for yourself. I struggle with sticking up for myself as well, and feeling guilty when I do, and I actually also had a day a few years ago where basically the same thing happened and I had a big falling out with a couple really old friends, but I kept going. Anyway, I'm really sorry, hope you feel better

Not sure if this is helpful, but I feel like you can't really win with a lot of people, they'll tell you to just be honest and straightforward when you feel like you're being mistreated, but then if you are, they get defensive. I think it's best to just be as kind as possible, but apparently a lot of people see kindness as a sign of weakness and an invitation to manipulate people. There are actually some sweet cinnamon rolls out there but you generally don't get to meet them because they're full of anxiety and hide at home :/

this is something i hear a lot of people telling me to be honest, i know logically that i should just stand up for myself but its so hard because i dislike myself to the point i feel everything is my fault regardless of the nature of the mistake/accident/incident. thank you so much for your sweet words and im glad to know theres someone out there i can relate to right now

 

[pole]

ur an apologetic person. and thats me lol.

ill literally say sorry to the smallest shit cause ill think its my fault, to the point where people are like stop saying sorry and apologizing for even the smallest thing, when its just in my head that i feel like im screwing things up simply because im a screwup myself. literally a girl told me i was so apologetic and that i dont have to keeping sorry, and i responded with, "sorry" lmao.

we just think because were so broken, just so fucked up, that were the ones that are the problem and everythings our fault. but it really isnt. and its those who truly care about us, genuinly, that make us see the right and good. ur friends failed to do this. u feel these emotions of guilt, its ur friends who should be empathizing, being compassionate, and making you feel otherwise.

ending ur friendships mightve been for the better, if they were making you feel how you feel, and if they mistreated you, thats just negative energy and a negative environment as a whole that u dont have to be in. this imo is for the better, it'll make you more cautious about who to befriend, and to confront those you believe are doing you wrong; only gonna make you stronger. sometimes we just are afraid to cut these people off, we latch onto them and depend on these people, whether they be friends, family, partners, but we know deep down that there just for us, whether it be how they make you feel, etc.

 

[Slate128]

Don't feel guilty for being abused. It doesn't do anyone any good. Fuck your 'friends.'

I've noticed you vent on here quite a bit. I'd like to say that every time you feel like this you can (and should) always let it out here. We won't judge or abandon you. It never gets annoying or exhausting.

 

[bath salts]

ur an apologetic person. and thats me lol.

ill literally say sorry to the smallest shit cause ill think its my fault, to the point where people are like stop saying sorry and apologizing for even the smallest thing, when its just in my head that i feel like im screwing things up simply because im a screwup myself. literally a girl told me i was so apologetic and that i dont have to keeping sorry, and i responded with, "sorry" lmao.

we just think because were so broken, just so fucked up, that were the ones that are the problem and everythings our fault. but it really isnt. and its those who truly care about us, genuinly, that make us see the right and good. ur friends failed to do this. u feel these emotions of guilt, its ur friends who should be empathizing, being compassionate, and making you feel otherwise.

ending ur friendships mightve been for the better, if they were making you feel how you feel, and if they mistreated you, thats just negative energy and a negative environment as a whole that u dont have to be in. this imo is for the better, it'll make you more cautious about who to befriend, and to confront those you believe are doing you wrong; only gonna make you stronger. sometimes we just are afraid to cut these people off, we latch onto them and depend on these people, whether they be friends, family, partners, but we know deep down that there just for us, whether it be how they make you feel, etc.

Yeah, I do that too haha, my coworkers will stare at me in confusion because I apologize just for being near them. I think this did do me some good in terms of my emotional state because I feel a lot better as well as a lot more inclined to ctb so I will probably be able to easily do it in the coming days. They want to stick me back in therapy and inpatient so I have to do it anyways. I agree with most everything you've said, and believe this was probably for the best. Thank you so much for you response and sweet words!

Don't feel guilty for being abused. It doesn't do anyone any good. Fuck your 'friends.'

I've noticed you vent on here quite a bit. I'd like to say that every time you feel like this you can (and should) always let it out here. We won't judge or abandon you. It never gets annoying or exhausting.

I'm so embarrassed that you've noticed I frequently vent... but thank you for your support! I appreciate it so much :) I hope you have a great day/evening