Bitterman1996
Student
- May 20, 2020
- 169
just venting, so recently there's blown up tweet about how expensive art school is, and the quote tweet/repost is mostly about skilled artist that never gone through art school etc. A lot of people there mention about their hardship in life and while I'm happy for them, I can't help but comparing myself with them. It's just crazy how insecure i felt towards random strangers in this aspect.
Maybe it's just inferiority issue, I've no redeeming quality and can barely face any hardships at all. Living is tiring, and art is merely something I cling on to because it's one of very few things I could do even if the results are nothing but mediocre garbage. More importantly I know it's obvious, but any skill needs a lot of practice and on that regards I'm terrible. I don't think I can draw much in a day , I have no social skills or honesty to seek friends because I would feel bad having to essentially chase people to giving a shit.
I don't know I feel like a mess, I was resolving myself to try living again but this kind of anxiety made me think of suicide again.
But on that topic, it's crazy how job seeking process is basically having to proof yourself to other people. I don't know that aspect made me want to puke. but to begin with even managing to hold down on a job is probably impossible for practices. sorry it went awry, i just hope it would be slightly better after a nap but that's probably just wishful thinking.
Maybe it's just inferiority issue, I've no redeeming quality and can barely face any hardships at all. Living is tiring, and art is merely something I cling on to because it's one of very few things I could do even if the results are nothing but mediocre garbage. More importantly I know it's obvious, but any skill needs a lot of practice and on that regards I'm terrible. I don't think I can draw much in a day , I have no social skills or honesty to seek friends because I would feel bad having to essentially chase people to giving a shit.
I don't know I feel like a mess, I was resolving myself to try living again but this kind of anxiety made me think of suicide again.
But on that topic, it's crazy how job seeking process is basically having to proof yourself to other people. I don't know that aspect made me want to puke. but to begin with even managing to hold down on a job is probably impossible for practices. sorry it went awry, i just hope it would be slightly better after a nap but that's probably just wishful thinking.
