blahblahb
New Member
- Sep 9, 2026
- 1
I got here like a week and a half ago and I hate it so fucking much. I'm dorming, which is even worse since I can't really "leave" campus. I'm pretty far from home and honestly even if I went back, there's not much to go back to.
I just found out the people in my pod call my dorm the "mystery dorm" which makes me feel even more pathetic. It's called the mystery dorm because they don't know me or my roommates. It sucks cause I did introduce myself to everyone, I just don't think anyone remembered me. It didn't even really go that great when I introduced myself. I feel like I kinda just got ignored mostly and it was pretty awkward. I have no common interests with anyone here and it's so painfully obvious. The only meaningful thing people can say about me is that I'm "actually nice" (omg shock) and "super quiet".
Every day's another aura loss and it builds up. Maybe I'll trip one day over the stairs or I'll take too long in line at the dining hall the next. It's not really about any of that though. It's about the stares and the judgement that pierces through you when that kind of stuff happens. Like you just know people hate you in that moment. I wish I had any fucking social skills. Maybe I'd be able to find a niche of people who actually like being around me if I could socialize at all. But honestly, I don't think any group of people would like me.
My classes suck, my dorm sucks, everything fucking sucks. I wish I never came here. I can't give up and go home, but I can't keep doing this either. It honestly seems like suicide is the only way out of this. I thought about killing myself in the past, but not to this degree. Back in middle school and high school, suicide was like a call for help. Now it seems like a real genuine solution. Killing myself seems like the only possible way to get out of this. I just wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish I could have that college experience everyone talks about. This sucks.
I just found out the people in my pod call my dorm the "mystery dorm" which makes me feel even more pathetic. It's called the mystery dorm because they don't know me or my roommates. It sucks cause I did introduce myself to everyone, I just don't think anyone remembered me. It didn't even really go that great when I introduced myself. I feel like I kinda just got ignored mostly and it was pretty awkward. I have no common interests with anyone here and it's so painfully obvious. The only meaningful thing people can say about me is that I'm "actually nice" (omg shock) and "super quiet".
Every day's another aura loss and it builds up. Maybe I'll trip one day over the stairs or I'll take too long in line at the dining hall the next. It's not really about any of that though. It's about the stares and the judgement that pierces through you when that kind of stuff happens. Like you just know people hate you in that moment. I wish I had any fucking social skills. Maybe I'd be able to find a niche of people who actually like being around me if I could socialize at all. But honestly, I don't think any group of people would like me.
My classes suck, my dorm sucks, everything fucking sucks. I wish I never came here. I can't give up and go home, but I can't keep doing this either. It honestly seems like suicide is the only way out of this. I thought about killing myself in the past, but not to this degree. Back in middle school and high school, suicide was like a call for help. Now it seems like a real genuine solution. Killing myself seems like the only possible way to get out of this. I just wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish I could have that college experience everyone talks about. This sucks.
