I think tonight or tomorrow night is when it's going to happen. I'm so pissed bc I wanted to be able to wait at least until this weekend, but my timeline won't allow that anymore.
There's something horrible I need to do before my eternal sleep. I don't want to say what it is before it's done. I don't want anyone to be able to stop me. Tl;Dr It's my final revenge.
Since I likely won't be around for new year, I'm going out to celebrate early today instead of tomorrow. Good food before death? Yes please.
Anyway, my CTB method is CO poisoning. I bought a bunch of plastic drop cloths and gorilla tape to cordon off a section in my room. I hope I have enough to create a small enough space for the CO to concentrate. It'll be roughly the size of 2 twin mattresses, completely surrounded by plastic drop cloths.
Outside of my plastic drop cloth enclosure, I want to leave a window open for excess CO to escape. I'm really worried about accidentally poisoning my down stairs neighbors.
I ordered 2 portable grills and 1 fire starter metal bucket. I plan to load each one up with 3-4kg of coals and let the space fill with CO while I take a shower and that'll be that.
If I have a bit of down time, I want to publish a short blog website with my final words to everyone. I'm annoyed that I won't have more time to put my site together, but it's not like I'll care after I'm dead lol.
Honestly, I'm super fucking sad to leave my daughter. She's my world. But I don't have the strength, energy, or resources to fight through the upcoming chapter in life. I can't do it anymore. I just need to be done. And I'd rather die at home in a warm bed while I still have one, instead of dying in the cold dirty street outside.
There's something horrible I need to do before my eternal sleep. I don't want to say what it is before it's done. I don't want anyone to be able to stop me. Tl;Dr It's my final revenge.
Since I likely won't be around for new year, I'm going out to celebrate early today instead of tomorrow. Good food before death? Yes please.
Anyway, my CTB method is CO poisoning. I bought a bunch of plastic drop cloths and gorilla tape to cordon off a section in my room. I hope I have enough to create a small enough space for the CO to concentrate. It'll be roughly the size of 2 twin mattresses, completely surrounded by plastic drop cloths.
Outside of my plastic drop cloth enclosure, I want to leave a window open for excess CO to escape. I'm really worried about accidentally poisoning my down stairs neighbors.
I ordered 2 portable grills and 1 fire starter metal bucket. I plan to load each one up with 3-4kg of coals and let the space fill with CO while I take a shower and that'll be that.
If I have a bit of down time, I want to publish a short blog website with my final words to everyone. I'm annoyed that I won't have more time to put my site together, but it's not like I'll care after I'm dead lol.
Honestly, I'm super fucking sad to leave my daughter. She's my world. But I don't have the strength, energy, or resources to fight through the upcoming chapter in life. I can't do it anymore. I just need to be done. And I'd rather die at home in a warm bed while I still have one, instead of dying in the cold dirty street outside.
