slightoverlooked
Experienced
- Dec 27, 2023
- 214
i would do anything to get rid of this feeling. i wish i wouldnt sit here crying while losing patience. no one understands me.
either im blamed or im supposed to not have any expectations because i dont love myself.
i draw hearts with my blood and leave my plate untouched while in my head i get farer away from reality. "Maybe someone would love me if…" it crosses my mind but deep down I know it's not true.
Im just a girl. A girl who grew up thinking no one was capable to love her. Thinking that everything was her fault.
Now I sit here all alone in silence and tell myself…is it worth it?
The only thing I can do is pour my heart out while I see the faces around me fade.
And 'the' thoughts cross my mind again and again and again. Until I start to hear things that aren't real, see things that aren't real.
Have I gone insane?
I do things and only remember the consequences a day after. I feel like I lost control and I don't know if I ever was.
A fictional character can only do so much.
And in the end I can sit here and talk and write and cry and hurt myself. but it wont change anything. love cant be forced. i might be alone forever.
it suffocates me.
what can i do? The only thing i can control is myself so i can only blame myself and make myself suffer for it.
If having these desires is so normal why is it wrong when i have them?
i wish i could end this on a positive note. i wish i would feel more understood.
i wish i could close my eyes and never face this reality because that little fantasy corner in my head looks better than every single second i have experienced in this world.
either im blamed or im supposed to not have any expectations because i dont love myself.
i draw hearts with my blood and leave my plate untouched while in my head i get farer away from reality. "Maybe someone would love me if…" it crosses my mind but deep down I know it's not true.
Im just a girl. A girl who grew up thinking no one was capable to love her. Thinking that everything was her fault.
Now I sit here all alone in silence and tell myself…is it worth it?
The only thing I can do is pour my heart out while I see the faces around me fade.
And 'the' thoughts cross my mind again and again and again. Until I start to hear things that aren't real, see things that aren't real.
Have I gone insane?
I do things and only remember the consequences a day after. I feel like I lost control and I don't know if I ever was.
A fictional character can only do so much.
And in the end I can sit here and talk and write and cry and hurt myself. but it wont change anything. love cant be forced. i might be alone forever.
it suffocates me.
what can i do? The only thing i can control is myself so i can only blame myself and make myself suffer for it.
If having these desires is so normal why is it wrong when i have them?
i wish i could end this on a positive note. i wish i would feel more understood.
i wish i could close my eyes and never face this reality because that little fantasy corner in my head looks better than every single second i have experienced in this world.
