Chronic Illness

[Exitforme]

I have BPD and intense anger. I almost killed my father just the other day in a heated argument about his narcissism.

 

[Cleopatra123]

I'm swallowing around 40 different things everyday, covering the full spectrum from traditional medicine to plant-based natural meds and homeophathy. And some illegal drugs from time time, funnily enough not for their psychological effects (I don't get any I must be resistant !) but because they allow me to be relatively pain-free for at least a few hours !
Thanks for your kindness, there is not much going around of that these days...most of the time people will just get annoyed me with because I can only do things very slowly, need frequent breaks, cannot stand for long...I do not need anyone's sympathy but just a bit of patience when you cannot follow a normal rhythm even though you're trying so hard would be welcome. But no, believe it or not even the nurse in hospital shouts at me because on my last kidney MRI I couldn't walk, get undressed and onto the table fast enough and I was holding everyone up ! So to be honest I am not even thinking of starting to rebuild my house to make it more handicap-friendly, and I do not want to have a live-in nurse either, I'll just stop going on everyone's nerves (including my own !) and have a nice clean death. I'm actually so much looking forward to it you won't believe it !

ARG! There's no unrude way to express my disgust at how little empathy, and kindness exists so much in this blasted culture. It's just unbearable to stomach such injustice. In my state there are Assisted living facilities, where someone is around to help you, but you are free to go out. But, lately, even those are being overrun with blossoming with new disease challenges in growing population. The idea there is for one to get kind and caring assistance when necessary. I won't go, if even it even exists. We are expendable in the best of conditions, and lower tha dirt in the craziness going on now. I know exactly how you feel, I have problems with motion, if I go to the fridg and feed the cat, I come back to the bed with stroke level B/P, all that and other complications, day by slow day, worse and worse. I want a nice clean death too my friend. I'm old enough, been there and must admit gratitude to God that I lasted so long, but there is an end to everything. I'm looking forward to it too. Blessings

 

[Jazzy]

I have chronic illness too. I miss my life before

 

[deedee0225]

Heres something ive never seen on this forum, Im suffering from chronic prostatitis. It has reduced the quality of my life to zero.

 

[so tired or manic]

type 1 diabetes, bipolar type 1, hashimoto's thyroiditis (which no one wants to do anything for my symptoms), general and social anxiety, scoliosis, sleep apnea, fibromyalgia, ptsd, celiac, gastritis, hiatal hernia, lactose intolerance caused by celiac, chronic migraines. I keep getting infections. In one year I had an ear infection where my ear drum burst, 2 uti's, and a sinus infection. I'm just constantly sick so symptoms get brushed aside and infections don't get caught on to until they've been around for months. it's a miracle my kidneys still function really. I also have a thing for not showing normal symptoms for basically anything so it was a fight to get diagnosed with most of these things.

E: I also have a terrible memory so the things that don't impact me too much have been forgotten. like my flat feet is completely manageable, but sucks if you don't have the arch supports needed.

 

[Cleopatra123]

Heres something ive never seen on this forum, Im suffering from chronic prostatitis. It has reduced the quality of my life to zero.

I believe there are new medications for this disorder, which is so common; if you cannot find one, I will research a homeopathic remedy if you so desire.

The symptoms you are describing are very similar to mine. I have bacterial infection.

Run blood tests for:

Chlamydia Pneumonie
Chlamydia Trachomatis
Mycoplasma Pneumonie
Lyme

There are at least 29 varieties of mycoplasma; some Myco pneumonia are treated with antibiotics which will work temporarily if caught quickly; however, mycoplasmas, which have no cell walls, can persist secretly reeking havoc until it explodes with many symptoms. Test for all mycoplasma types is best.

 

[Folie]

Raises hand!

 

[Weightoftheworld]

Epilepsy, Migraines, Restless Leg Syndrome.
Not to mention mental illnesses.

 

[spider2020]

Adhesive Aracnoiditis, lumbosacral and cervical. No official local specialists diagnosis. Diagnosed online by major worldwide expert watching MR images and confirmation from symptoms. GP by my side. Pathology is running fast day by day, stuck at home since august 7th, because walking and standing long time trigger 10/10 flare-ups. No hospitalization because of bed cuts for social distancing. Mostly fighting alone, with little to no help or comprehension. On saturday sept 12th, left 4 hours in 10/10 pain in E.R. after 80 mg methylprednisolone, crying and screaming for help and mercy. Forced to move to do a RM brain scan and a visit in the next weeks, with emergency kit from my side: car's vibrations kill me.

Little to no hope, help or mercy from anyone, expecially doctors scared by "late diagnosis" crime or stressed coronavirus hysteric rules.

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm interested in how many people here suffer from a chronic illness? The hopelessness and uncertainty of it all is what's brought me here. How many are the same?

I have several. Physical illnesses.

 

[DFFP]

I have incurable pain. The only solution I have for dealing with them is CTB. Fucking life

 

[Niirvana]

MDD and anxiety disorder. antidepressant doesnt work for me and ive been taking benzo for so long i have reached tolerance.

Same here

 

[_Minsk]

chronic pain, anxiety, depression to name a few i feel comfortable with.. its sad to see so many people suffer, life on its own is hard enough, but with chronic illnesses, its a whole different story ..

 

[schopenh]

Diagnosed online by major worldwide expert watching MR images and confirmation from symptoms.

Forest Tennant or someone from his foundation? They'll diagnose anybody with AA. I sent them an MRI of a perfectly healthy spine from a control patient and he said he could see adhesions lol

 

[Meditation guide]

It's amazing how sick someone can be yet the heart keeps beating. How can I be so ill and wake up every day?

 

[DFFP]

It's amazing how sick someone can be yet the heart keeps beating. How can I be so ill and wake up every day?

I really have the same feeling as you. I said to myself: damn, my body is broken on all sides and damn I wake up that same ...

 

[Pharmaruined]

My endocrine system is totally shot.. my genitals are numb.. my brain is numb.. I still have cognition.. but zero emotions.. Its like living in a black and white movie..no beauty in anything, nothing. My pleasure center has been cut off.. I'm just a zombie trapped in this cage of a body..

I have Lyme as well..

But I've got the infections and chronic fatigue under control because I've spent 10 years and hundreds of thousands of dollars.. my retirement, on figuring out how to keep the infections at bay.. but I can't for the life of me heal the brain damage the pharma drugs caused

 

[spider2020]

Forest Tennant or someone from his foundation? They'll diagnose anybody with AA. I sent them an MRI of a perfectly healthy spine from a control patient and he said he could see adhesions lol

Maybe he was wrong in that occasion or there are other reasons, I don't know an I don't exclude anything. The disease is known clinically and in anathomic pathology since 1909 (effect of tubercolosis or even idiopathic).
What I can say is that my symptoms matched much before I discovered his website, I had a reumathological diagnosis which was left open (legal problems) and high dosage of an antinflammatory non-reumathological therapy had a positive response. Even methylprednisolone in ev had positive unexpected response, but it lasts a couple of week, it's not resolutive.
A second or even third opinion from a neurosurgeon or pain therapist (scientifically, I mean withouth mentioning the disease not to influence the specialist's response) is advised.
Anyway, two month and half before I knew who Dr Tennant was, I had a MR report from a radiologist indicating herniations and protrusions embracing a wide area of dura mater (spinal canal): I knew nothing at that time. The rest is a struggle and a research with the help of my GP.

I forgot to say that T.'s foundation e-mail @msn.com (now @gmail) was hacked. It may have been hacked for a long time and may have been used for malicious purposes: things that happen in these times with full hospitals taken down by ransomware. Was that the case? Maybe, maybe not. At least there's good information there, with simple list of sympt
symptoms (clinical diagnosis) and a test-drugs-to-proove methode to corroborate the diagnosis, when an MR 3T contrast scan is unavailable or inconclusive (10% on brain MR scans are negative for M.S., a much more common and known disease).
I had a streak of deep infiltrations in my spine in 2018 (between vertebrae) and sudden explosion of neurological symptoms a couple of weeks later after the first one.

 

[watsonsmith]

@spider2020, I'm so sorry, it all sounds horrific.

Personally, while I've been struggling with BPD (or rather cPTSD, but what difference does it really make), I really started going mad in 2015 when I developed neuropathic pain in my arms + DP/DR that never went away. The only thing that kept it at bay was my marijuana use, which in turn put my in a 6-months long mania throughout which I ruined the last few good things in my life.

Had it not been for the pain, I wouldn't have found myself in this situation. I fathomed a life with pain, but now that I ruined it all, there is nothing. Just the pain.

 

[spider2020]

I really started going mad in 2015 when I developed neuropathic

Every doctor minimizing, ignoring or laughing at neuropathic pain should try it at least a month in their life. But as my GP said to me recently: "there's no human mercy in 2020 [from doctors and nurses]". He said that almost crying at the phone, a GP with more than 30y of experience, with more than a thousand of patients.

 

[mooncake]

I have been diagnosed multiple autoimmune diseases. None of them are necessarily deadly, while one of them carries the potential of an early death due to random anaphylaxis. Im also suspected to have endometriosis. Unfortunately, proper testing is pretty difficult to get.

I've also been sufcering from depression and PTSD since my childhood.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Saw a new neurologist on Tuesday, he seems to think Gabapentin might resolve many of my personal issues. Dude was really good and I'm optimistic he's going to help me.


He thinks that the Gabapentin is going to help my fibromyalgia and symptoms that started simultaneously more or less that appear consistent with peripheral neuropathy.

Plus like every physician that I see, Lord knows I see a plethora of specialists, looks like they've seen a ghost when I confirm that I'm not on a mood stabler for my bipolar disorder. After having this reaction at least half a dozen times I'm thinking I'm doing something wrong. Anyway, he thinks the Gabapentin might help stabilize my mood. He thinks daily usage of Gabapentin for bipolar will be a better method for me than my current approach of hopping on Zyprexa every single time my mood gets elevated.

As an alternative, he suggested a micro dosing approach with Zyprexa. I refuse to take Zyprexa daily because I can't stop eating. (If I were on Zyprexa right now I would probably eat my cell phone while looking at pictures of the pizza thread on here).

Zyprexa is the only pharmaceutical that's ever given me any benefit whatsoever for bilolar. Catch 22.

Anyway I thought I'd cast a wide net with this post.

Anybody have an opinion on gabapentin for themselves? Or, an opinion on anything else I'm discussing?

 

[watsonsmith]

Anybody have an opinion on gabapentin for themselves? Or, an opinion on anything else I'm discussing?

I used pregabalin, which is similar to gabapentin, in 2018 not to much avail sadly. If I recall correctly some of my neuropathic pain issues were not as severe as they are now, but neither was my overall life situation. Still, I would say it is definitely worth giving a shot, because of all the prescription drugs I have ever taken, this is the only one that I feel did *anything* for me. (MJ pretty much cured me on the other hand, until I fell into mania and put what seems to be final nail in the coffin of my life, so I am not recommending that since you are bipolar)

 

[spider2020]

Anybody have an opinion on gabapentin for themselves? Or, an opinion on anything else I'm discussing?

As my GP said (digression: My GP's more experienced and open to listening to patients more than any specialist, despite non knowing everything: he's very humble and open. Did Pasteur knew anything about viruses? No, but he saved lots of people, anyway. /end digression ): GABA takes a long time to reach therapeutical levesl because the starting dosage is low and therapeutical dosage is high, so it takes time (week, even month?) to reach benefit, if any benefit can be obtain because these kind of drugs have a VERY subjective (e.g. personal): response goes from absolutely nothing to very good response.
My advice is go and try, everything. Usually other more known drugs are tested as a first start start (same path more or less: starting dosage, dosage increase, until one may see if it works for real or not: if i remember correctly it take usually 4-8 weeks to know for GABA, maybe more, don't take my words for granted because I did not test it, too similar to another I'm intolerant to). My advice is to keep yourself informed, try everything and pray you find the right drug that gives part of your life back. I personally tried everything, including physioterapy (in my very personal case it made thing worse, but I tried, grinding my teeth with all my force of will I had).

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Here is my shit - thoughts, ideas, suggestions are welcome

* Bipolar 1
* GAD (general anxiety disorder)
* SAD (social anxiety disorder)
* PTSD? (split verdict on this diagnosis...I say "no", but plenty of childhood trauma)
* Someone snuck in a diagnosis into my file something about being hypervigilant and anal retentive concerning my personal life and healthcare. With the libraries closed I'm trying to borrow my sister's boyfriend's copy of the DSM so I can refresh my memory what the hell this other cherry on top diagnosis is.
* Pituitary adenoma
*Possible Cushing's syndrome/disease likely cause from pituitary adenoma. Years of testing have finally produced favorable results last round. Concluded major dietary intervention might have got my cortisol working properly.
* T up and down with dietary intervention.
* Hashimoto's thyroiditis. Hypothyroid.
*Vitiligo (aka, Michael Jackson disease) luckily my skin tone is the perfect shade to hide it one has to really look closely to see it but I have it all over.
* Some docs suspect celiac disease but I'm gluten-free so we can't test.
*Glaucoma suspect in the left eye.
*Endless food sensitivities. I can't put anything in my mouth without having an adverse reaction. I'm looking into a feeding tube so that I can understand absolute worst case scenario when I'm facing potentially. Don't think it would ever get to this point but I just want to be mindful about it.
*Fibromyalgia
*Endless joint pain I think tied into the fibromyalgia.
*Chronic back spasms.
* Mild diverticulitis
*Gastroparesis? (tested 250% above threshold and 4 hours after eating one? egg, I still had 25% of it in stomach. Gastro hasn't given me the diagnosis cuz I'm not barfing. I never throw up. If SN were my method, I would just live stream for everybody on SS to show you guys that some with iron stomachs don't need anti-anetics. In the name of SS Science,(SSS), I would use myself as a guinea pig with this. Haven't bothered to revisit gastro to see what's what after my recent tests.
* Heart Disease(?) from way too high coronary calcium score. Heart tests fine w cardio.
* Peripheral neuropathy (?) New neurologist is optimistic my symptoms are linked to my fibromyalgia. Tests next month to confirm.
* CTE - chronic traumatic encephalopathy is a possibility but can't be diagnosed until post-mortem.
* Pancreatic insufficiency is perceived but i won't poop in a bucket stored in my fridge for 3 days for a diagnosis. I returned an empty bucket to the lab once I saw what was involved.
* Tinnitus - 20 years.

Is the glass half full or half empty? Just about every specialist I see congratulates me for being so healthy. The neurologist congratulated me on Tuesday because I'm so healthy. He said I don't have diabetes. I don't have metabox syndrome I haven't had any major surgeries since I was a little boy etc etc.

if I don't CTB I'm convinced I will die by being nickled and dying to death with these relatively minor health problems.
No matter what I'm going through I think I could always be worse off. Although I wish I didn't have all my issues, I am grateful that I'm still able to function I see other people my age in way worse state. Two of my close friends from high school have died from health issues. Recall that I would see plenty of people my age you could barely limp into the jacuzzi cuz they're in so much pain.

Anyway feel free to chime in.

Do you have any strategies for anything you see on my list?

 

[Lilacmoon]

Chronic migraines, asthma that can't decide if it wants to be bad or tame, bradycardia, Borderline PD, anxiety, and PTSD. Not as severe as others, and my heart goes out to everyone who shared here.

 

[spider2020]

If someone it interested, I can upload my phone call for help when in E.R. left in pain 10/10 with nurses telling me to shut up. No witnesses because of coronaviruses rules. Not in english, but desperation, screams for help and mercy are understamdable.
I don't want to scare anyone, but that is a piece of reality, so I may provide it in private if someone wishes to know what neuropathy is and how is threated in E.R. by doctors and nurses (oversimplification: you have a leg, but you feel like you have it cut off from your body).


My empathy to all chronic disease sufferers, from the deep of my heart.

 

[Meditation guide]

Gabapentin

It sounds like it might help. Be aware it's in the class of anticholinergic drugs which have some side effects and in studies have been linked to dementia.

you have a leg, but you feel like you have it cut off from your body).

I wake up with my left hand this way due to nerve entrapment in my elbow and it's the most horrible feeling. I could cut it off and not feel anything and it's like a piece of dead meat hanging on my arm.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

It sounds like it might help. Be aware it's in the class of anticholinergic drugs which have some side effects and in studies have been linked to dementia.

Thank you very much for the heads up. I am about to head out to drink my McDonald's coffee and I will Google dementia and Gabapentin.

The irony is they're trying to get me off Zyprexa because it's such a nasty drug. I read something that either it has the absolute worst side effect profile of either all psychiatric drugs or for all pharmaceuticals on the market period.

My neurologist wants me to get off of the Zyprexa though, so we'll see if Gabapentin helps my mania.

Thanks again.