Chronic Illness

[disconnection]

Yeah, bpd diagnosed around 12 years ago and bipolar I finally diagnosed last year when I went properly manic and psychotic and was sectioned. Prior to that had just been hypomanic episodes which meant bipolar was only ever queried. I suspect my issues are more with dependence on others now since I split with my long term bf last year and it devastated me. Was homeless when I came out of hospital and was offered supported housing but I turned it down because the cost would have been insane on benefits and honestly, the thought of being alone was just too awful. Relying on family in my 30s feels terrible now though and I'm fairly sure I'd rather just ctb. I can't see a life for myself on my own, which I'd have to be working towards. Always wished I wasn't here for as long as I can remember, even as a young child. And now my life circumstances are just unbearable. Now unemployed and spent most of last year off sick from two jobs.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Bipolar, BPD, Crohns disease, Asthma and allergies.

 

[Walilamdzi]

Yeah, bpd diagnosed around 12 years ago and bipolar I finally diagnosed last year when I went properly manic and psychotic and was sectioned. Prior to that had just been hypomanic episodes which meant bipolar was only ever queried. I suspect my issues are more with dependence on others now since I split with my long term bf last year and it devastated me. Was homeless when I came out of hospital and was offered supported housing but I turned it down because the cost would have been insane on benefits and honestly, the thought of being alone was just too awful. Relying on family in my 30s feels terrible now though and I'm fairly sure I'd rather just ctb. I can't see a life for myself on my own, which I'd have to be working towards. Always wished I wasn't here for as long as I can remember, even as a young child. And now my life circumstances are just unbearable. Now unemployed and spent most of last year off sick from two jobs.

Did they discharge you to a hotel or to rough sleeping? That sucks.

 

[disconnection]

Did they discharge you to a hotel or to rough sleeping? That sucks.

Yeah it does. A hostel.

 

[Walilamdzi]

Yeah it does. A hostel.

How are you coping with it all at the moment? I came off a section 3 not long ago and I'm not finding it easy. What was your hospital stay like?

 

[disconnection]

How are you coping with it all at the moment? I came off a section 3 not long ago and I'm not finding it easy. What was your hospital stay like?

Yeah not well at all. I mean, staying with family now which is better but as I said, feels terrible not standing on my own two feet and not knowing how/when I might again. Hence signing up here - seriously weighing my options. Hospital was horrific - quite an abusive ward but because I was psychotic I couldn't get anyone to believe me. How was your time in hospital? What's your situation like now?

 

[Walilamdzi]

Yeah not well at all. I mean, staying with family now which is better but as I said, feels terrible not standing on my own two feet and not knowing how/when I might again. Hence signing up here - seriously weighing my options. Hospital was horrific - quite an abusive ward but because I was psychotic I couldn't get anyone to believe me. How was your time in hospital? What's your situation like now?

Glad to hear you're safe staying with family, I'm sure they can understand and want to help you as much as they can. I feel bad about not feeling like I can stand on my own feet too. My hospital experience was awful, understaffed and some of the staff a bit inattentive meaning when I psychotic I was sexually assaulted on two separate occasions during being sectioned. I wasn't in a lucid state so I don't know how I can be considered to have consented to anything like that and I feel quite violated. Also certain members of staff said some really unkind things to me for instance that I was a "lucky bitch" for being in there because I was in bed before that member of staff doing a night shift. Now I just feel a bit defeated.

 

[disconnection]

Glad to hear you're safe staying with family, I'm sure they can understand and want to help you as much as they can. I feel bad about not feeling like I can stand on my own feet too. My hospital experience was awful, understaffed and some of the staff a bit inattentive meaning when I psychotic I was sexually assaulted on two separate occasions during being sectioned. I wasn't in a lucid state so I don't know how I can be considered to have consented to anything like that and I feel quite violated. Also certain members of staff said some really unkind things to me for instance that I was a "lucky bitch" for being in there because I was in bed before that member of staff doing a night shift. Now I just feel a bit defeated.

Uh that does sound awful. I'm so sorry you went through that. Are you getting support from anyone now? I think a lot of terrible things tend to go on in these places - I was physically assaulted by staff on a few occasions. Police didn't want to know despite me documenting my bruises. Also left without medical treatment I needed and tricked with medication. Unfortunately people will always abuse the power they have over others.

 

[yetme]

I'm interested in how many people here suffer from a chronic illness? The hopelessness and uncertainty of it all is what's brought me here. How many are the same?

antibiotic resistant chlamydia.. it's slowly killing me

I feel you and empathize deeply. My mast cell disease is by far the most debilitating. I also have POTS, EBV, IBS, Arthritis, Esophagitis, Neuropathy, Fibromyalgia, and Lyme. Life is a revolving door of anaphylaxis, horrific neuropathic pain, cardiac events, headaches, vomiting, hives, bone pain, chronic fatigue, and insomnia.

oh man, I get what you're going through.... Also Crohne, Arthritis, Severe Neuropathy and Fibromyalgia. neurapathic pain is the worst. I live in constant agony and nothing helps

I have a crap ton of chronic symptoms and problems, but doctors can't diagnose me. All I have is bits and pieces of clues as to what is wrong with me, and its infuriating and hopeless.

Scoliosis, a bad immune system, all kinds of skin problems, chronic shoulder and neck pain, fatigue, sexual dysfunction, brain fog, under weight, unable to gain mass, puffy face most the times, IBS, frequent constipation, tinkling in my feet and hands, sleep problems, unable to burp, and goes on and on.

Please throw fire on me. I am a biological mess...

Not suggesting anything but try to do blood tests for Lyme, Chlamydia pneumonie, Chlamydia trachomatis and Toxoplasma gondii

 

[Painpleasure]

I have to put bags on my eyes everyday and quite frankly I'm sick of it.

Hate all the maintenance that the MEAT SUIT requires. Wish I was born with no pain receptors.

Fortunately, I can't suffer when I'm dead. Looking forward to that promising day.

 

[Jumper]

CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) is the main reason for my suicide.

I was already struggling with Bipolar 1 and other problems. It's just too much to add this.

 

[Chronicillness]

Too many rare afflictions to name. I was born with genes meant for a destiny and journey of extreme suffering. Chronis illness has dominated every second of my life. My life is 24/7 managing of horrific symptoms.

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

At least 70% of my blood work numbers are far out of range wreaking havoc with my health due to different symptoms. The worst thing last time I had to attend a and e because I couldn't move so was having to pee on the floor from the sofa. The nurse and doctor investingating as if I was making it up... Then months later the tumor finally gets diagnosed. Also I have tons of average ailments like arthritis, deformities, hormone problems, eyesight, teeth, immunodeficiency, diabetes, osteoporosis, ligament and tendon tears. Depression and anxiety.... Though I think I may have something else. I know none of those issues are chronic... But they add up to make life a living hell.

What pisses me off is these things could have been treated had I not been medically neglected... How much does a suicide cost to clean up? Does anyone know? For example say the train method... By the time everything's cleaned up, processed, gone through. Cleaning your property out there's a ton of stuff comes into it people don't consider.
Roughly how much cost to the taxpayer are you talking? Does anyone think this question warrants it's own thread? If so please make one...

 

[Billicide]

Three months ago I developed extreme insomnia, brain fog, anxiety and panic attacks, rapid heart rate, poor circulation, muscle twitching. My brain feels like it's burning even though I don't have a fever. The only thing that helps is clonazepam so I'm now on my way to benzo addiction. Possibly also early perimenopause. My body feels like it's falling apart. I've had to take medical leave from work. No doctors have been able to help.

 

[yetme]

Three months ago I developed extreme insomnia, brain fog, anxiety and panic attacks, rapid heart rate, poor circulation, muscle twitching. My brain feels like it's burning even though I don't have a fever. The only thing that helps is clonazepam so I'm now on my way to benzo addiction. Possibly also early perimenopause. My body feels like it's falling apart. I've had to take medical leave from work. No doctors have been able to help.

The symptoms you are describing are very similar to mine. I have bacterial infection.

Run blood tests for:

Chlamydia Pneumonie
Chlamydia Trachomatis
Mycoplasma Pneumonie
Lyme

 

[Billicide]

The symptoms you are describing are very similar to mine. I have bacterial infection.

Run blood tests for:

Chlamydia Pneumonie
Chlamydia Trachomatis
Mycoplasma Pneumonie
Lyme

What was your treatment? Are you better now?

 

[Spacing Out]

Sure do. Crohn's is ridiculously terrible. Depression and anxiety as well, the depression I've had for as long as I can remember. I have a feeling I have more, but no more actually diagnoses.

 

[deltaofvenus]

I'm new here, and this is my first comment. Hope I am doing this correctly.

I have a few conditions- endometriosis, chronic migraine, fibromyalgia. I believe the fibro to be a misdiagnosis. I had surgery nearly two years ago, and that got rid of 80% of my pain. But the fatigue and chronic fever are still there.

I thought I'd be able to start over with life, but symptoms are getting worse during the pandemic, since I'm trapped with an abuser. Currently investigating methods.

 

[Acornsonatree]

It's interesting how many people are replying with BPD. Studies have shown that with the right therapy (DBT) many people recover.
Also I think it's important to mention that even without therapy/help, 50% of people no longer fit the criteria for a diagnosis in old age (over 55, I believe)

Anyway back onto the topic, I was born with a brain tumour which is technically benign but it grows very slowly. It explains a lot of my behaviour/emotional issues whilst growing up.

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

I have a few physical chronic conditions (which I don't want to specify) and some of them causes me lots of pain. Still none of them are not the reason why I'm here.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Yes and it has ruined my life and forced me to exclude myself so I haven´t had any friends for years

 

[lymestolemylife]

The symptoms you are describing are very similar to mine. I have bacterial infection.

Run blood tests for:

Chlamydia Pneumonie
Chlamydia Trachomatis
Mycoplasma Pneumonie
Lyme

You can thank the Evil Government for this. They stole our lives from us. https://www.newsweek.com/pentagon-weaponized-ticks-lyme-disease-investigation-1449737
Just use common sense. They were testing ticks looking for a disabling agent that would not kill people just

At least 70% of my blood work numbers are far out of range wreaking havoc with my health due to different symptoms. The worst thing last time I had to attend a and e because I couldn't move so was having to pee on the floor from the sofa. The nurse and doctor investingating as if I was making it up... Then months later the tumor finally gets diagnosed. Also I have tons of average ailments like arthritis, deformities, hormone problems, eyesight, teeth, immunodeficiency, diabetes, osteoporosis, ligament and tendon tears. Depression and anxiety.... Though I think I may have something else. I know none of those issues are chronic... But they add up to make life a living hell.

What pisses me off is these things could have been treated had I not been medically neglected... How much does a suicide cost to clean up? Does anyone know? For example say the train method... By the time everything's cleaned up, processed, gone through. Cleaning your property out there's a ton of stuff comes into it people don't consider.
Roughly how much cost to the taxpayer are you talking? Does anyone think this question warrants it's own thread? If so please make one...

I too have been ignored to my death.

I'm new here, and this is my first comment. Hope I am doing this correctly.

I have a few conditions- endometriosis, chronic migraine, fibromyalgia. I believe the fibro to be a misdiagnosis. I had surgery nearly two years ago, and that got rid of 80% of my pain. But the fatigue and chronic fever are still there.

I thought I'd be able to start over with life, but symptoms are getting worse during the pandemic, since I'm trapped with an abuser. Currently investigating methods.

Maybe you have Lyme. I have your symptoms and I have lyme. I have chronic fever of 100.4 all the time.

 

[Mud.]

Every form of epilepsy, truly amazing headaches & chronic insomnia (05:52 AM overhere and no sleep in sight.)

 

[Nohopeinhell]

CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) is the main reason for my suicide.

I was already struggling with Bipolar 1 and other problems. It's just too much to add this.

Me too. CRPS 6 years now :( people don't understand how debilitating it is. Now i understand why it is called the suicide disease.

 

[RileyTanaka]

Had a lot of "non-specific" symptoms that bothered me over the years, chiefly being a weak immune system, problems sleeping, being overweight no matter what I ate or did. To this day, doctors pretend I don't have autoimmunity when I clearly do. After much digging, consultation with people outside of traditional medicine, I am pretty sure I suffer from parasites (mixed infection), metal toxicity which has left me with neuropathic symptoms, early stage lymphoma, floaters (possibly lyme co-infection i.e. bartonella), toxoplasmosis, and several very debilitating neurological symptoms. Giving myself a little more time to experiment with Rife treatment, but if this doesn't work, I'm catching the fucking bus.

 

[AcornUnderground]

Au

Had a lot of "non-specific" symptoms that bothered me over the years, chiefly being a weak immune system, problems sleeping, being overweight no matter what I ate or did. To this day, doctors pretend I don't have autoimmunity when I clearly do. After much digging, consultation with people outside of traditional medicine, I am pretty sure I suffer from parasites (mixed infection), metal toxicity which has left me with neuropathic symptoms, early stage lymphoma, floaters (possibly lyme co-infection i.e. bartonella), toxoplasmosis, and several very debilitating neurological symptoms. Giving myself a little more time to experiment with Rife treatment, but if this doesn't work, I'm catching the fucking bus.

Autoimmune is awful. Destroyed my life. I'm so sorry.

 

[Cleopatra123]

Multiple Sclerosis which progresses at a very fast rate, started with left side of my body numb now it has spread throughout my body, difficulty walking, sexual dysfunction, muscle atrophy, loss of sensation in my entire body and a lot of other life altering symptoms, waiting for my symptoms to worsen so I can finally have the courage to CTB.

With deep sympathy, as a person, and former nurse, I hope you either find a delay of symptoms, or do something before you can't. I don't say this lightly, but for you, Rebecca, an MS patient 15 years ago. I have Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome; which really means I have multiple chronic infections with many internal organs damaged and failing, heart, kidneys, brain, throat, bone loss and dying slowly and miserably. Sometimes, it's warranted to take things into our own hands while it's still possible.

 

[LastRide]

I have EDS (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome type 3 - hypermobility of all soft tissues including skin, tendons and ligaments....every day, a piece of my skin just tears itself apart when I make a movement which overstretches it, and at least twice a week I have some joint that just pops out of its socket because I made a movement which was too fast or too strong...) and Addison's Disease. Both are genetic and incurable, but not terminal ! That's the worst...you can't even ask for euthanasia (it's legal where I live) since none of those diseases will actually kill me anytime soon. They'll just turn me into some kind of zombie hardly able to move around, I need help to even get dressed and this total loss of autonomy I canot handle. The pain is excruciating, even though I can sort of manage it by taking extreme amounts of painkillers, but then your brain is cloudy instead...and I hate losing my brain even more than my physical autonomy. I actually already lost part of my brain since when I fell down the stairs last year (yes, I fall about 2-3 times a week as well since my legs cannot keep me stable any longer) I had a triple skull fracture and severe brain haemorrhage which permanently destroyed my sense of smell, I get vertigo when I look down, and my hearing is dimished by 50%. I have no family or anyone close to me that I would have to live for. Can anyone give me a good reason not to want to CTB?

 

[Cleopatra123]

This is all terrible, when I was a young nurse, no one I'd come across ever suffered from such complex diseases. Yet another indication of our corroding culture, health system, ecology, and something funny going on with strange experimentation with government germ experimentat

I have EDS (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome type 3 - hypermobility of all soft tissues including skin, tendons and ligaments....every day, a piece of my skin just tears itself apart when I make a movement which overstretches it, and at least twice a week I have some joint that just pops out of its socket because I made a movement which was too fast or too strong...) and Addison's Disease. Both are genetic and incurable, but not terminal ! That's the worst...you can't even ask for euthanasia (it's legal where I live) since none of those diseases will actually kill me anytime soon. They'll just turn me into some kind of zombie hardly able to move around, I need help to even get dressed and this total loss of autonomy I canot handle. The pain is excruciating, even though I can sort of manage it by taking extreme amounts of painkillers, but then your brain is cloudy instead...and I hate losing my brain even more than my physical autonomy. I actually already lost part of my brain since when I fell down the stairs last year (yes, I fall about 2-3 times a week as well since my legs cannot keep me stable any longer) I had a triple skull fracture and severe brain haemorrhage which permanently destroyed my sense of smell, I get vertigo when I look down, and my hearing is dimished by 50%. I have no family or anyone close to me that I would have to live for. Can anyone give me a good reason not to want to CTB?

No reason at all LastRide, I'm so sorry. Too bad we can't all get together in understanding and empathy to do something about it. Is there no symptomatic relief that isn't pain medication. Have you sought any alternative treatments, herbal or homeopathic? Do you have assisted living facilities where you live?

 

[LastRide]

This is all terrible, when I was a young nurse, no one I'd come across ever suffered from such complex diseases. Yet another indication of our corroding culture, health system, ecology, and something funny going on with strange experimentation with government germ experimentat

No reason at all LastRide, I'm so sorry. Too bad we can't all get together in understanding and empathy to do something about it. Is there no symptomatic relief that isn't pain medication. Have you sought any alternative treatments, herbal or homeopathic? Do you have assisted living facilities where you live?

I'm swallowing around 40 different things everyday, covering the full spectrum from traditional medicine to plant-based natural meds and homeophathy. And some illegal drugs from time time, funnily enough not for their psychological effects (I don't get any I must be resistant !) but because they allow me to be relatively pain-free for at least a few hours !
Thanks for your kindness, there is not much going around of that these days...most of the time people will just get annoyed me with because I can only do things very slowly, need frequent breaks, cannot stand for long...I do not need anyone's sympathy but just a bit of patience when you cannot follow a normal rhythm even though you're trying so hard would be welcome. But no, believe it or not even the nurse in hospital shouts at me because on my last kidney MRI I couldn't walk, get undressed and onto the table fast enough and I was holding everyone up ! So to be honest I am not even thinking of starting to rebuild my house to make it more handicap-friendly, and I do not want to have a live-in nurse either, I'll just stop going on everyone's nerves (including my own !) and have a nice clean death. I'm actually so much looking forward to it you won't believe it !