Hello.
I am a chronic cheater. I have cheated on my girlfriend twice now. Yesterday night, on a flight from a con to home, she saw I had Grindr. We had opened the relationship up and had the expectation that "so long as we let each other know" before we meet up with someone, it would be okay. I was on there messaging people who I had not met up with. She saw I was on Grindr, took my phone and sent me into a panic attack. I was okay talking about what had been written but it was embarrassing. She took it and kept it from me. I kept asking to look at them together but she pushed me away. This caused a massive anxiety spike and panic attack and I bit deep into my hand and bled. I took the phone back and promptly she told me it was over. It is over. The love of my life is gone. I am alone. There is nobody else. I want to die. I need the push to die. I opened this account. I never thought I would. I'm ready to put a bullet through my head. Her last words to me, "you're sick and you need help."
I feel like a retard. I feel like an invalid. I don't want to live if all I can provide to others is hurt.
I just want to not be here anymore.
I am a chronic cheater. I have cheated on my girlfriend twice now. Yesterday night, on a flight from a con to home, she saw I had Grindr. We had opened the relationship up and had the expectation that "so long as we let each other know" before we meet up with someone, it would be okay. I was on there messaging people who I had not met up with. She saw I was on Grindr, took my phone and sent me into a panic attack. I was okay talking about what had been written but it was embarrassing. She took it and kept it from me. I kept asking to look at them together but she pushed me away. This caused a massive anxiety spike and panic attack and I bit deep into my hand and bled. I took the phone back and promptly she told me it was over. It is over. The love of my life is gone. I am alone. There is nobody else. I want to die. I need the push to die. I opened this account. I never thought I would. I'm ready to put a bullet through my head. Her last words to me, "you're sick and you need help."
I feel like a retard. I feel like an invalid. I don't want to live if all I can provide to others is hurt.
I just want to not be here anymore.
