Checklist of practical things to do before CTB

[tartvinegar]

I'm trying to make things as easy as possible for family after I ctb (probably in a hotel). I want to try to get rid of as many things as possible in the apt, so other people don't have to do it.

Here's a list I made of things I should do before I ctb. Am I forgetting anything or should I add anything?

• Sign DNR, hang do not disturb sign
• Leave tip for whoever finds body
• Delete social media accounts and mass delete emails (idk if people can access after your death)
• Donate clothes to goodwill
• Get rid of as much of my stuff as possible without arousing suspicion
• Write details to bank account in a note in drawer
• Clear as much stuff out as I can without drawing suspicion
• Donate books somewhere
• Plants give away (but how without avoiding suspicion?)
• Do nice things for family (check)
• Get/do something nice for partner before I ctb
• Mail upbeat happy letters saying I love people the day I ctb with no unpleasant references or anything about CTB so they have something to remember me by.
• Send apology letters.
• Is it worth wearing make up when I ctb? So I look less horrible? Will I look horrible?
• Debating suicide note, ctb because I got fired and I would like to say that. But maybe it's better to let go.

 

[Peter Skellern]

Won't relatives do the majority of the practical stuff in the event of?

 

[tartvinegar]

I'm trying to save them the effort of doing that, I want to minimize the trauma, and have everything done before hand
I wish there was a one way in which I could die that would allow me to donate my organs and save lives but I guess with poison in my body that isn't going to happen and I also don't want to be brain dead and a vegetable.

 

[Peace2peace]

I'm trying to save them the effort of doing that, I want to minimize the trauma, and have everything done before hand
I wish there was a one way in which I could die that would allow me to donate my organs and save lives but I guess with poison in my body that isn't going to happen and I also don't want to be brain dead and a vegetable.

U can't donate organ with sn

 

[Peter Skellern]

I'm trying to save them the effort of doing that, I want to minimize the trauma, and have everything done before hand
I wish there was a one way in which I could die that would allow me to donate my organs and save lives but I guess with poison in my body that isn't going to happen and I also don't want to be brain dead and a vegetable.

I think its going to be pretty traumatic whatever.

 

[tartvinegar]

You also wanna ctb because you got fired? Me too actually

My last day is Feb 28 or sooner according to my boss who told me that the company I have worked at for 8 year and everyone there would be better off without me and there's no path forward for me.

I've devoted my whole life to job. And they only gave me 2 weeks severance, I literally asked them how I was going to pay rent, and they said not my problem. There was so much venom and vitriol.

She knows my mother is dying and I've been in a bad place and she still fired me. Who does that? I'm too ashamed to tell my mom I'm being fired on her last days and too scared to talk to my mom because I don't want to tell her and I hate that.

After 8 years, most of it I was severely underpaid and overworked, they could give a shit if I was homeless on the streets.

I want to have a peaceful dignified exit while i can, while I still have my own money—I don't want the humiliation of having to borrow money from people, especially not my mom—and it hasn't been too long after I got fired, so at least people will still remember me as a successful respected professional, not someone who was fired and a failure.

 

[Caleb82]

My last day is Feb 28 or sooner according to my boss who told me that the company I have worked at for 8 year and everyone there would be better off without me and there's no path forward for me.

I've devoted my whole life to job. And they only gave me 2 weeks severance, I literally asked them how I was going to pay rent, and they said not my problem. There was so much venom and vitriol.

She knows my mother is dying and I've been in a bad place and she still fired me. Who does that? I'm too ashamed to tell my mom I'm being fired on her last days and too scared to talk to my mom because I don't want to tell her and I hate that.

After 8 years, most of it I was severely underpaid and overworked, they could give a shit if I was homeless on the streets.

I want to have a peaceful dignified exit while i can, while I still have my own money—I don't want the humiliation of having to borrow money from people, especially not my mom—and it hasn't been too long after I got fired, so at least people will still remember me as a successful respected professional, not someone who was fired and a failure.

I am far too insignificant to give any opinion or advice. I am a 42 yo failed father who can't even provide for his family. I know I would serve everyone better by exiting. The only reason I am waiting is for is my mother. I can't wait to CTB but it would destroy her in her last days. So, I will wait.
I have a feeling that you love your mom. If she is on her last days, then I hope you can hold on and wait a bit.
I am very sorry for the unsolicited advice. I hope I have not crossed a boundary. I am mostly hollow and should be ignored.

 

[tartvinegar]

I appreciate the advice and that we're in the same situation.

It's amazing strength for you to hold on for your mom. I know how much pain I'm causing, but I just can't take it anymore. And I want to die before my mom does, so I don't feel the pain. It's so unbearable.

And you're not insignificant, you're so loved.

 

[GettingGone]

I'm trying to make things as easy as possible for family after I ctb (probably in a hotel). I want to try to get rid of as many things as possible in the apt, so other people don't have to do it.

Here's a list I made of things I should do before I ctb. Am I forgetting anything or should I add anything?

• Sign DNR, hang do not disturb sign
• Leave tip for whoever finds body
• Delete social media accounts and mass delete emails (idk if people can access after your death)
• Donate clothes to goodwill
• Get rid of as much of my stuff as possible without arousing suspicion
• Write details to bank account in a note in drawer
• Clear as much stuff out as I can without drawing suspicion
• Donate books somewhere
• Plants give away (but how without avoiding suspicion?)
• Do nice things for family (check)
• Get/do something nice for partner before I ctb
• Mail upbeat happy letters saying I love people the day I ctb with no unpleasant references or anything about CTB so they have something to remember me by.
• Send apology letters.
• Is it worth wearing make up when I ctb? So I look less horrible? Will I look horrible?
• Debating suicide note, ctb because I got fired and I would like to say that. But maybe it's better to let go.

I had a post similar to this about what I called "considerate suicides." Maybe labeling boxes of items if any are left? "Trash", "For my Mom", "Memories", etc. Just so there's a clear next step. I'd say passwords to other things if needed. Like computer after you wiped it, phone, etc. I don't wear make up, so I wouldn't. But I understand the draw. I'd watch the mascara though, if you're crying it could smear and just be another thing. For your plants, idk how big or whatever. You could donate them to a school or church? Not sure if this helps at all. But I resonate with your thought process of making it easier for those left behind. I'm sorry for this hopeless state you're in, I'm there too. <3

 

[J&L383]

I'm trying to save them the effort of doing that, I want to minimize the trauma, and have everything done before hand
I wish there was a one way in which I could die that would allow me to donate my organs and save lives but I guess with poison in my body that isn't going to happen and I also don't want to be brain dead and a vegetable.

I agree also it would be nice to donate organs. Almost the only way you could do that is if it was a car accident, but that would be very difficult to orchestrate.

I wouldn't be too concerned about makeup. Depending on the method you won't look very good, regardless.

One thing have you considered prearranging cremation costs? Or if you do want to be buried, that's an expense that your family will need to take care of.

It's a good list, and it's good that you're thinking through all these things.

 

[JesiBel]

I would add:

1) Leave a note if you want a funeral, to be cremated or buried in a specific place.

2) Cancel subscriptions (for services or places or tangible or digital products. Many times not cancelling these subscriptions creates a debt that the family will later have to pay. For example, here if you do not cancel your student pass at the institute, the fees continue to be generated to pay... even if you no longer attend.)

 

[tartvinegar]

That's a really good point and I hadn't thought of that.

 

[areyousafe??]

You also wanna ctb because you got fired? Me too actually

Me three. Well it's one of the many reasons.

I would add to the list to get a last will and testament formally drafted by a solicitor.

I wish I knew how to mass delete emails, I have an email account since approximately 2000, and I've given up deleting what is in there because it was too time consuming.

 

[zardofan]

Thanks for this list. I'm sorry you're in the place to do it. I am too, and my list is similar but I really like your "happy" letters to people. Another thought is to cancel credit cards if you have any. I'm going to use cash only pretty soon, and pay the bills and cancel them. If they will need to probate stuff, you can do a simple will. I'm uncertain about my phone passcode. Sometimes I want them to access my photos but I also don't want to go thru them deleting stuff I don't want them to have. And of course I have thousands. Also if you had any kind of retirement savings from the job, make sure your beneficiaries are set up. Good luck, I hope things get better but if they don't, I hope you have an easy crossing.

 

[tartvinegar]

This is all very helpful thank you

 

[yearofluigi]

I really admire the effort to ease the pain on your loved ones post-ctb. Also, not to sound too pro-lifey, but it may still be possible to land on your feet and find a new job. Maybe commit to a few months of looking for a job before making any serious suicide preparations? You might end up with a better job than before, and if it doesn't work you can go back to your original plans. I understand that a job search is a really tall order though; the situation you described sounds devastating and I understand wanting to just end it now. Either way I wish you the best.

 

[tartvinegar]

Thank you, that's very kind and supportive of you.

I'm in a lot of pain, I can't bear to live and can't see a future for myself.

 

[yearofluigi]

That's alright. I'm sorry life has gotten so hard

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

I'm trying to save them the effort of doing that, I want to minimize the trauma, and have everything done before hand
I wish there was a one way in which I could die that would allow me to donate my organs and save lives but I guess with poison in my body that isn't going to happen and I also don't want to be brain dead and a vegetable.

There is a way. You can donate your body to science. That will also save your family/friends/lover the costs of burial or cremation. I think Universities have printouts you can do with that. Reminds me I should do that. Only thing is you need two witnesses to sign it, at least the one I looked at.

Good reminder for DNR. I would have already been gone if I would have thought that far ahead. Do you know the process for that? Do you have to go to a hospital or can you just print out the sheet and sign it yourself and just leave it nearby?

Great list. It's so nice of you to be taking care of your people and making it easier for them.

 

[Forever Sleep]

For me, I want to pre-pay for a direct cremation. Make sure my phone is paid off. Leave information about all my service providers, bank details etc. Have everything prepared for my final tax return. Have goodbye notes attached as emails which I will delayed email send to my solicitor to inform employers, friends, family.

I have a will and have arranged a house clearance service with my solicitor. They will also be acting as executor to the will. I'll ask them to do all they possibly can to reduce the hassle for family and, to take their fee from what's left.

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

Hi
I read your OP but only skim read the rest, sorry, lack of time, not interest.
DNR's aren't always binding for suicide - in my country it varies by state.
Hotels can charge an "excessive cleaning" charge or a "loss of income" for cancelling the next reservation - try to minimise the damage - vomit bags, a drop sheet, whatever you can. And if you have spare cash, leave that with a note for whoever will be called as next of kin, saying what it's for.
Plus, think about who will find you & where - a do not disturb sign won't stop an innocent person finding you - if you're in a hotel room, try to do it in a room within, with the door shut - 2 things there - one is a sign on the outside of that door saying there will be a body, do not enter, call emergency services & two is wedge that door shut - there's a bunch of travel internal door locks & jammers & stuff, but there's also a lotta stuff online on how to do with ironing boards or towels.
I've spent a lot of time thinking about this, there's still probs a million more I'm forgetting at the mo....Aoologies if I covered something already mentioned.

 

[cait_sith]

I feel guilty I won't have the energy to do most of these things, and will leave quite a mess, but then again I am in the unique position of leaving no one behind as all of my family is death, except for disabled aunt who doesn't care about anything due to her disability.

 

[tartvinegar]

Hi
I read your OP but only skim read the rest, sorry, lack of time, not interest.
DNR's aren't always binding for suicide - in my country it varies by state.
Hotels can charge an "excessive cleaning" charge or a "loss of income" for cancelling the next reservation - try to minimise the damage - vomit bags, a drop sheet, whatever you can. And if you have spare cash, leave that with a note for whoever will be called as next of kin, saying what it's for.
Plus, think about who will find you & where - a do not disturb sign won't stop an innocent person finding you - if you're in a hotel room, try to do it in a room within, with the door shut - 2 things there - one is a sign on the outside of that door saying there will be a body, do not enter, call emergency services & two is wedge that door shut - there's a bunch of travel internal door locks & jammers & stuff, but there's also a lotta stuff online on how to do with ironing boards or towels.
I've spent a lot of time thinking about this, there's still probs a million more I'm forgetting at the mo....Aoologies if I covered something already mentioned.

Thank you, this was so helpful. Lots of things I didn't think about.

 

[Young.Werther]

I think one thing that might be good (depending on your method) is to leave a note saying what you used, especially if it's not obvious. Especially with chemicals I think the place might be a hazmat site (don't quote me on that) and certainly it's not going to be standard cleanup for the hotel. Would probably help them to know what was there so they know how to safely handle it.

The other thing which might be good (idk how this would work in a hotel though) is to send a delayed email to someone informing them about your body so someone doesn't come cleaning and get surprised. But idk if this is doable with a hotel … it might be more applicable at home so neighbors don't get a shock.

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

Thank you, this was so helpful. Lots of things I didn't think about.

Combine an over-thinker with an insomniac & a people-pleaser who has known many people IRL to catch their bus, there's always one more thing to consider, if you are considerate. It would be easier not to be. I'm so tired, I gotta go to bed, but maybe add a "throw out or destroy" list, anything you don't want other people to see. Anything from search histories & apps & hard drives & packaging identifying seller of SN down to sex toys or dirty underwear... Sorry to add more. Goodnight, sorry...

 

[grapevoid]

Is there a way to schedule an email for the acct info? Letters and items in the room you cbt in may be collected by police and not returned to the family.

Also, I agree, leave a note on the door. That's my plan too, just a note saying do not enter- call emergency services, so a poor innocent person doesn't find a dead body unexpectedly.

 

[hana49]

Is there a way to schedule an email for the acct info? Letters and items in the room you cbt in may be collected by police and not returned to the family.

Also, I agree, leave a note on the door. That's my plan too, just a note saying do not enter- call emergency services, so a poor innocent person doesn't find a dead body unexpectedly.

gmail definitely has that!

 

[aslostasyouare33]

There is a way. You can donate your body to science. That will also save your family/friends/lover the costs of burial or cremation. I think Universities have printouts you can do with that. Reminds me I should do that. Only thing is you need two witnesses to sign it, at least the one I looked at.

Good reminder for DNR. I would have already been gone if I would have thought that far ahead. Do you know the process for that? Do you have to go to a hospital or can you just print out the sheet and sign it yourself and just leave it nearby?

Great list. It's so nice of you to be taking care of your people and making it easier for them.

This is exactly what I want to do . I used medcure body donation.

 

[death_by_life]

This is exactly what I want to do . I used medcure body donation.

Ohhh, that's amazing...! I didn't know this was an option, but I'm definitely going to see if it will work for me. Thanks for the mention! Was it easy to do? It seems like a great option for folks who don't have money for death-related expenses.

And thanks OP and everyone else for the lists. I've been wondering how much I should be doing to prepare, as well as how much energy I'll have to do that. It's good to see everyone's thoughts on what should be done.

 

[aslostasyouare33]

Ohhh, that's amazing...! I didn't know this was an option, but I'm definitely going to see if it will work for me. Thanks for the mention! Was it easy to do? It seems like a great option for folks who don't have money for death-related expenses.

And thanks OP and everyone else for the lists. I've been wondering how much I should be doing to prepare, as well as how much energy I'll have to do that. It's good to see everyone's thoughts on what should be done.

It was really simple and fast. You should look into it it has free body transportation free cremation it's nice