Catching the bus tonight

[Dripping]

Thank you so much, I will!

Thanks, she may not believe you, 'cause is very shy but try to make her think that i let her go knowing we were in love eachother. I had respect of her need to rest.
Safe travel to you and all my best wishes. I'll be here if needed.
Thanks

 

[NeCkDeEp]

You're so brave, NeCkDeEp. Thank you for sharing your journey. I wish you a peaceful and painless transition.

I really appreciate this thank you. I hope that you'll find whatever you are looking for as well!

Thanks, she may not believe you, 'cause is very shy but try to make her think that i let her go knowing we were in love eachother. I had respect of her need to rest.
Safe travel to you and all my best wishes. I'll be here if needed.
Thanks

I'll do my best and cheers to you for being so supportive and respecting her wish to ctb.
Best wishes to you to and I hope that you'll find whatever you are looking for: peace or happiness.

 

[Return2Dust]

I'm looking for your bravery. I hope I find it too!
(This is by no means an encouragement to you. I support your choice either way).

 

[NeCkDeEp]

I'm looking for your bravery. I hope I find it too!
(This is by no means an encouragement to you. I support your choice either way). ❤

Thank you so much! I'm really sure of it and have planned so many things beforehand and wouldn't have done these things if I wasn't sure.
I hope that you will find the bravery, please take your time ctb is permanent and maybe you're not ready yet?
I have stayed months alive (I live alone and didn't think about sending delayed texts to a hotline to send the cops) for my pets but I even lost the will to stay alive for them which is where I have gotten my bravery from because I haven't got any will to live anymore.
So maybe it will take a few months for you as well?

 

[C_F]

We'll be right here with you until it's your time @NeCkDeEp

 

[mittensxx]

I hope your journey will be peaceful and easy this time around (I'm in the same timezone so I'll be thinking about tonight and sending my best wishes).
I've always been scared of where I might end up after ctb but reading this forum has made me realise that where ever it is - I'll be safe and supported because I'll be surrounded by kind souls like you.
All the best xx

 

[Yaalya]

I would strongly recommend that you wait for the antiemetics, please don't do it without!

 

[NeCkDeEp]

We'll be right here with you until it's your time @NeCkDeEp

I really appreciate this thank you!!

I hope your journey will be peaceful and easy this time around (I'm in the same timezone so I'll be thinking about tonight and sending my best wishes).
I've always been scared of where I might end up after ctb but reading this forum has made me realise that where ever it is - I'll be safe and supported because I'll be surrounded by kind souls like you.
All the best xx

Thank you so much! That's nice of you.
Let's hope that whatever happens after life isn't that scary hahaha.

I would strongly recommend that you wait for the antiemetics, please don't do it without!

There's a high chance of me ending up in a psych ward tomorrow and sorry but I do not want to end up there. I truly appreciate that you are recommending me anti vomit stuff but I didn't vomit when I drank nitrate, so I got a bit of hope for not vomiting while I drink nitrite.

 

[zeroambition]

Smooth sailing

 

[LegaliseIt!]

Peace and comfort.

 

[realjunes]

How many grams of SN would there be in 3 UK soup spoons, as in OP's regime notes?

 

[NeCkDeEp]

Smooth sailing ❤

Thank you!

Peace and comfort.

Thank you, same to you.

How many grams of SN would there be in 3 UK soup spoons, as in OP's regime notes?

I'm bad at math but 3 full soup spoons should be a lot of g as well

 

[6ixxy]

How many grams of SN would there be in 3 UK soup spoons, as in OP's regime notes?

No way to tell, considering it'll all be mixed within the water itself. Hence why drinking it straight from the cup is preferred as you know you're getting all of the SN.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I'll be thinking of you and wishing you the best. I wish you a smooth and peaceful transition!

 

[voyager]

It's obvious you want to go, so I wish you a peaceful transition without complications and may you find what you're looking for. Hugs to you and those cute little pets of yours.

 

[x-Ace-x]

Thank you!

Thank you, same to you.

I'm bad at math but 3 full soup spoons should be a lot of g as well

I would rather scale it or put it in the measuring vessel but maybe the bigger amount of it will be good as well. Not sure though, AFAIK, it should be about 20 ml (g) and 3 tablespoons on Google shows 44.36 ml.

20 ml would be 1.35256 of US tablespoon. I think you should research a little about it, maybe 3 tablespoons will be too much.

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

nitrate

I didn't vomit when I drank nitrate

Wow... you drank Nitrate? What was that like? Sorry to see you leave, i will not be far behind. I dont know whats on the otherside, but I do believe that somehow we continue on, even if we just become carbon our energy never goes away it just changes form... if the myth of God is real He / She will be there to welcome you home.

Death almost always is the result of stage 4 cancer, I cant understand for the life of me why people can't accept that this form of dying is no less natural , and I could make the arguement that this type of exit is nothing more than stage 4 mental illness. And there is no shame in mental illness, all the healthy people want to "save" everyone, but they have no idea what a serious mental or neurological illness can do.

I am sorry your life has come to this, ultimately it is always your choice, but I will stay on here with you for the rest of the day regardless.

If you do decide to leave us, I wish you a peaceful and pain free passing, and send you this wish that death is kinder to you than life.

 

[NeCkDeEp]

I'll be thinking of you and wishing you the best. I wish you a smooth and peaceful transition!

Thank you so much!

It's obvious you want to go, so I wish you a peaceful transition without complications and may you find what you're looking for. Hugs to you and those cute little pets of yours.

I really appreciate this, thank you! I hope that the police will read the note on my phone, I left a letter on the table with the following sentence 'please read the note on my phone for more information.'
I have wrote in the note for the police to be aware that it's around Christmas and I do not want my pets to end up as gifts for people and ending up abused.
I hope so badly that my pets will be loved and go as example to my friends in my home country or to my parents.

I would rather scale it or put it in the measuring vessel but maybe the bigger amount of it will be good as well. Not sure though, AFAIK, it should be about 20 ml (g) and 3 tablespoons on Google shows 44.36 ml.

20 ml would be 1.35256 of US tablespoon. I think you should research a little about it, maybe 3 tablespoons will be too much.

Ooooff I'll take the guess on 2 soup spoons then thank you.

Wow... you drank Nitrate? What was that like? Sorry to see you leave, i will not be far behind. I dont know whats on the otherside, but I do believe that somehow we continue on, even if we just become carbon our energy never goes away it just changes form... if the myth of God is real He / She will be there to welcome you home.

Death almost always is the result of stage 4 cancer, I cant understand for the life of me why people can't accept that this form of dying is no less natural , and I could make the arguement that this type of exit is nothing more than stage 4 mental illness. And there is no shame in mental illness, all the healthy people want to "save" everyone, but they have no idea what a serious mental or neurological illness can do.

I am sorry your life has come to this, ultimately it is always your choice, but I will stay on here with you for the rest of the day regardless.

If you do decide to leave us, I wish you a peaceful and pain free passing, and send you this wish that death is kinder to you than life.

Yes I did hahaha that's why my good bye thread has so many comments because I attempted at I think the 13th of December as well.
It was really salty, my stomach was burning and felt some discomfort which was similar to the pain I experience during my period.
Yeah I'll see whatever happens hahaha.

I appreciate your explanation and support thank you.
I wish you nothing but the best.

3 soup spoons sounds too much, and might increase risk of vomiting.

2 spoons should be more than enough.....

Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. With the right help things can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.

Okay I will do 2

 

[Dubs]

Bye, and good luck, again. Glad I logged on in time to catch you!

 

[Skyview]

Good luck on your voyage , hope you find the peace you're searching for and that we are here for you .

 

[realjunes]

It has been a privilege to be on the forum with you as you shared and participated so willingly, and it is an honor now to be with you. I wish for you love and eternal peace.

 

[Farmmaa]

Just checking in to see how you're doing.
I know last time you were so at peace and 'happy' the day of and I hope that today is peaceful for you as well.
I will probably be joining you in a few weeks

 

[jgm63]

Thank you so much!

I really appreciate this, thank you! I hope that the police will read the note on my phone, I left a letter on the table with the following sentence 'please read the note on my phone for more information.'
I have wrote in the note for the police to be aware that it's around Christmas and I do not want my pets to end up as gifts for people and ending up abused.
I hope so badly that my pets will be loved and go as example to my friends in my home country or to my parents.

Ooooff I'll take the guess on 2 soup spoons then thank you.

Yes I did hahaha that's why my good bye thread has so many comments because I attempted at I think the 13th of December as well.
It was really salty, my stomach was burning and felt some discomfort which was similar to the pain I experience during my period.
Yeah I'll see whatever happens hahaha.

I appreciate your explanation and support thank you.
I wish you nothing but the best.

Okay I will do 2

sorry, reposting with updated thoughts.....

3 soup spoons sounds too much, and might increase risk of vomiting.

2 spoons should be more than enough.....

Depending on the spoon size, 2 spoons might still be too much....
If you are doing "heaped" spoons, then perhaps just do 1.5 spoons.

Or 2 spoons if not heaped....


Otherwise, you could estimate based on the amount supplied.
eg If they sent you 250g, then you would want one tenth of what they sent.

Of course, I am assuming you don't have access to a set of scales.....

Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. With the right help things can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.

 

[x-Ace-x]

It's 9 PM for u, right? Will u start taking your meds?

 

[NeCkDeEp]

sorry, reposting with updated thoughts.....

3 soup spoons sounds too much, and might increase risk of vomiting.

2 spoons should be more than enough.....

Depending on the spoon size, 2 spoons might still be too much....
If you are doing "heaped" spoons, then perhaps just do 1.5 spoons.

Or 2 spoons if not heaped....


Otherwise, you could estimate based on the amount supplied.
eg If they sent you 250g, then you would want one tenth of what they sent.

Of course, I am assuming you don't have access to a set of scales.....

Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. With the right help things can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.

Honestly I got no idea, I drank 3 full spoons of nitrate so 2 spoons of nitrite should be fine I guess but thank you.

It's 9 PM for u, right? Will u start taking your meds?

Yes I took ibuprofen 9 minutes ago :)

 

[noctiva]

I will truly miss your posts, I love spongebob and your avatar has always brightened up every thread you posted on for me.
You said to ask questions if we have any, I know it is very late but I didn't check the forum earlier. :/ Can I ask you how you have wrestled down the irrational feeling that it could get better in the future? That's all that's keeping me here. My brain is ready, but this one irrational spark of hope refuses to die. Any hints would be appreciated!
Take care of yourself along your journey, you deserve love, kindness and compassion, including from yourself. My thoughts are with you.

 

[hhsp]

Hope for a calm journey for you.

 

[NeCkDeEp]

I will truly miss your posts, I love spongebob and your avatar has always brightened up every thread you posted on for me.
You said to ask questions if we have any, I know it is very late but I didn't check the forum earlier. :/ Can I ask you how you have wrestled down the irrational feeling that it could get better in the future? That's all that's keeping me here. My brain is ready, but this one irrational spark of hope refuses to die. Any hints would be appreciated!
Take care of yourself along your journey, you deserve love, kindness and compassion, including from yourself. My thoughts are with you.

I'm smiling because of your first sentence, Spongebob is life seriously. I might just put Spongebob on after I log out on here, such a good way to die.
Okay so this is my personal experience: I keep struggling every year with suicidal thoughts, there's not one year that felt like my year and I honestly think that no matter when I die people will still grief. There's nothing holding me back.
Knowing that I have done attempts before makes me sure that there will be for sure one year I will succeed, hopefully tonight.
I used to live with a feeling of being held back but it faded away after a few months so I'd say: don't rush yourself in to ctb especially if things are holding your back or if you feel like a kind of doubt for the future.
Please take your time for ctb, this is gonna be fucking cliche: you will know it when you are ready. Your thoughts will be every second of the day by ctb without thinking of having a chance to find your luck in the future.
I really appreciate your kind words, thank you. I wish you nothing but the best.

Hope for a calm journey for you.

I hope so as well aaa thank you

 

[Sensei]

I've enjoyed your company the short time I've been here. I've come to understand that you really suffer, even though you seldom have complained about it. I can tell that you are determined to leave and that nothing I can say will sway you, but I wish you would stay a little longer. I'm sure you will sleep well among the stars.

 

[The nerd]

I feel connected to you bro. Hope it goes well for you. Keep us updated. Pain and the like....how you feel and everything.