MrSuicide
Transgender man
- Oct 11, 2024
- 6
Unedited word salad ahead sort of a cat appreciation post. Hopefully not too off topic.
So pretty average reclusive guy here. I have been developing a bond with a young dilute calico cat and it's been making me feel better. I think she is smaller in size than average. I'm still considering her name, I have been thinking of Chance because of good fortune.
We feed feral cats in exchange for less mice (although there's kind of been a feral cat problem now) and I try to pet them. Usually they run away but I managed to fiddle this one down enough to allow me to pet her, or maybe she just was curious I'm not sure. She's making me happier, or more like everything is a little more bearable now, but I laughed for the first time in a while using a string to play with her. She was chasing and pouncing on the string but when she got her paws on it she put it in her mouth and tried to carry it away. Because I don't want to lose my hoodie string I pulled back and we had this little tug of war which I mean she's a cat, I haven't heard of a cat playing like that so I got worried and let go (but if you're reading this and own a cat who has done this sort of "tug of war" you can tell me if this is safe or not) and she took it, walking off into the forest between branches and stuff so I couldn't get her. I did try to follow her up to a certain point though.
But it was fun and I think she had fun too. Well sort of since she's still kind of feral I think she forgot that we were playing and her "instincts" took over. Jackson Galaxy said that cats equate play = prey or some sort of hunting thing. Today I bought two cat toy wands and a bag of catnip, she likes pouncing and stuff so I have a good feeling that she will like the wands but I'm not as sure about the catnip. First, where am I supposed to put it? I am anticipating that she will roll around in it so I want it to be on a rather clean non-painful surface. If she rolls around on the deck I am concerned she will get splinters, and if she rolls around in the dirt I worry that it won't be as effective (catnip getting stuck in the dirt) and she will get dirty (she will have to clean herself afterwards and could get sick). Luckily we have a small patch of sidewalk leading to a river so I'm thinking I'll put the catnip there and see how it goes, sure the surface is a little rough but I don't think it will cause any damage. I'm also not sure how she will react to it. Ideally she will like it but it's fine if she isn't affected by it but I also read online that it can cause cats to get "frisky" I do NOT want to have anything happen to her so I'll give her a small amount at first and I'll always supervise her when she's on it. This could also be my chance to finally get her into my lap by rubbing and sprinkling some catnip onto my pants with my legs crossed. But that could also lead to her just biting my leg so I don't know.
Another thing that I found strange about her is that she doesn't mind being touched while eating, I actually think she likes it. I have grown up with a lot of different animals, and they're all different from one another in a lot of ways but I always thought that with food, it's pretty straightforward, nobody wants to be bothered while they're eating right? I should leave them alone then. Apparently not when it comes to cats. There are some cats called social eaters that like eating with a human next to them. I don't think it's a very severe case, I've heard cats that straight up lose weight and don't eat without someone around, but I was getting ready to leave and all the cats scattered except her, she came up to me meowing. I pet her a little before she went back to eating, I got back to packing some stuff and she started meowing at me again. Eventually I bent down next to her and pet her next to the food dish, she started eating and purring (she purrs a lot, I'm not sure if she feels safe or is in pain as well though). I had to go pretty quickly after that, but I thought that was interesting.
When I first started petting her I think she was scared. At least, she allowed it but didn't trust me very much. When I gave her a slice of lunchmeat she carried it away while growling. I followed her a little until giving up. And the next few times we met I could tell she wanted to rub against me but wouldn't for some reason so when she was close to me I would pull her against my legs to kind of "encourage" the action. She's really tame now, she meows a lot, she meows while I'm petting her and she meows to say hello to me. Bonus: I think another cat is curious about me, this gray cat, which I think is her sister, stared at us while I was petting the calico. She's been less hesitant in approaching the food dish while I'm around and won't immediately bolt at the sight of me but hisses and usually runs when I get too close or try to pet. Maybe I can use some catnip to get her out of her shell as well. I'm honestly surprised I have not been attacked by pushing so many cat boundaries yet. They have been really patient with me.
I have been considering keeping her as a permanent pet and that scares me. I cannot form healthy attachments to people anymore but maybe an animal is different and I don't have to cut her out of my life or anything. Aside from that I can't keep her as a pet immediately, I'm still in my last year of school, and I need to move into my own place. I do have a house lined up but I need to finish school and get a proper job before actually moving out. So if I do officially adopt her it will likely be in a year or a little less.
If I do adopt her I will have to wait until she dies to CTB and I don't know if I can handle that. I don't want to traumatize her, I don't want her to live a tough life as a stray or be locked up in those fucking kennel prisons until she dies or goes insane. But the idea of slaving at a job and getting put down by everyone around me for another decade or even two is actually horrifying, one of the most terrifying things to me. If she lives a full life, which I hope she does but also that's like 15 years, I will be in my thirties, maybe even forty. Extremely frightening. I barely handled being crazy for this long. But I was going to CTB as soon as I finished school, and now I'm thinking of an actual future. I guess that is a step in some direction.
So pretty average reclusive guy here. I have been developing a bond with a young dilute calico cat and it's been making me feel better. I think she is smaller in size than average. I'm still considering her name, I have been thinking of Chance because of good fortune.
We feed feral cats in exchange for less mice (although there's kind of been a feral cat problem now) and I try to pet them. Usually they run away but I managed to fiddle this one down enough to allow me to pet her, or maybe she just was curious I'm not sure. She's making me happier, or more like everything is a little more bearable now, but I laughed for the first time in a while using a string to play with her. She was chasing and pouncing on the string but when she got her paws on it she put it in her mouth and tried to carry it away. Because I don't want to lose my hoodie string I pulled back and we had this little tug of war which I mean she's a cat, I haven't heard of a cat playing like that so I got worried and let go (but if you're reading this and own a cat who has done this sort of "tug of war" you can tell me if this is safe or not) and she took it, walking off into the forest between branches and stuff so I couldn't get her. I did try to follow her up to a certain point though.
But it was fun and I think she had fun too. Well sort of since she's still kind of feral I think she forgot that we were playing and her "instincts" took over. Jackson Galaxy said that cats equate play = prey or some sort of hunting thing. Today I bought two cat toy wands and a bag of catnip, she likes pouncing and stuff so I have a good feeling that she will like the wands but I'm not as sure about the catnip. First, where am I supposed to put it? I am anticipating that she will roll around in it so I want it to be on a rather clean non-painful surface. If she rolls around on the deck I am concerned she will get splinters, and if she rolls around in the dirt I worry that it won't be as effective (catnip getting stuck in the dirt) and she will get dirty (she will have to clean herself afterwards and could get sick). Luckily we have a small patch of sidewalk leading to a river so I'm thinking I'll put the catnip there and see how it goes, sure the surface is a little rough but I don't think it will cause any damage. I'm also not sure how she will react to it. Ideally she will like it but it's fine if she isn't affected by it but I also read online that it can cause cats to get "frisky" I do NOT want to have anything happen to her so I'll give her a small amount at first and I'll always supervise her when she's on it. This could also be my chance to finally get her into my lap by rubbing and sprinkling some catnip onto my pants with my legs crossed. But that could also lead to her just biting my leg so I don't know.
Another thing that I found strange about her is that she doesn't mind being touched while eating, I actually think she likes it. I have grown up with a lot of different animals, and they're all different from one another in a lot of ways but I always thought that with food, it's pretty straightforward, nobody wants to be bothered while they're eating right? I should leave them alone then. Apparently not when it comes to cats. There are some cats called social eaters that like eating with a human next to them. I don't think it's a very severe case, I've heard cats that straight up lose weight and don't eat without someone around, but I was getting ready to leave and all the cats scattered except her, she came up to me meowing. I pet her a little before she went back to eating, I got back to packing some stuff and she started meowing at me again. Eventually I bent down next to her and pet her next to the food dish, she started eating and purring (she purrs a lot, I'm not sure if she feels safe or is in pain as well though). I had to go pretty quickly after that, but I thought that was interesting.
When I first started petting her I think she was scared. At least, she allowed it but didn't trust me very much. When I gave her a slice of lunchmeat she carried it away while growling. I followed her a little until giving up. And the next few times we met I could tell she wanted to rub against me but wouldn't for some reason so when she was close to me I would pull her against my legs to kind of "encourage" the action. She's really tame now, she meows a lot, she meows while I'm petting her and she meows to say hello to me. Bonus: I think another cat is curious about me, this gray cat, which I think is her sister, stared at us while I was petting the calico. She's been less hesitant in approaching the food dish while I'm around and won't immediately bolt at the sight of me but hisses and usually runs when I get too close or try to pet. Maybe I can use some catnip to get her out of her shell as well. I'm honestly surprised I have not been attacked by pushing so many cat boundaries yet. They have been really patient with me.
I have been considering keeping her as a permanent pet and that scares me. I cannot form healthy attachments to people anymore but maybe an animal is different and I don't have to cut her out of my life or anything. Aside from that I can't keep her as a pet immediately, I'm still in my last year of school, and I need to move into my own place. I do have a house lined up but I need to finish school and get a proper job before actually moving out. So if I do officially adopt her it will likely be in a year or a little less.
If I do adopt her I will have to wait until she dies to CTB and I don't know if I can handle that. I don't want to traumatize her, I don't want her to live a tough life as a stray or be locked up in those fucking kennel prisons until she dies or goes insane. But the idea of slaving at a job and getting put down by everyone around me for another decade or even two is actually horrifying, one of the most terrifying things to me. If she lives a full life, which I hope she does but also that's like 15 years, I will be in my thirties, maybe even forty. Extremely frightening. I barely handled being crazy for this long. But I was going to CTB as soon as I finished school, and now I'm thinking of an actual future. I guess that is a step in some direction.
