Can’t wait to die

[sadnow11]

Soon I'll be free. No more suffering. All I do is suffer nowadays I never feel any good emotions. I'm extremely lonely and have had so much horrible stuff happen to me and no one talk about it with. Suffering in silence.

But when I die?

Peace.

 

[mlcs]

which method?

 

[stage4johnny]

Indeed.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Welcome to the forum @sadnow11 . So sorry this dreadful world has brought you here. Being lonely and suffering with nobody to talk to or support you is soul-crushing.
But at least you have good people here who will listen and support you.

 

[90starve]

welcome - you can voice your suffering here <3

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing certainly is so dreadful and torturous, to me it's horrible how there's so much endless suffering in existing, I understand why you would be looking forward to being gone so much. I certainly see death as being the only relief, to me non-existence is true peace that could never be found in this hellish reality, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[MrDarkness]

I also can't wait to die, I'm just waiting for my calling

 

[Nathan2]

Hey if things really get that bad id suggest looking for therapy. Maybe you have already had bad experiences with it before but you can always choose too stop going. The same doesn't apply for suicide.

 

[Ico]

Hey if things really get that bad id suggest looking for therapy. Maybe you have already had bad experiences with it before but you can always choose too stop going. The same doesn't apply for suicide.

This is incredibly naïve, unhelpful, and potentially dangerous. Reminds me of those pro-lifers that espouse how "precious" every life is, but only offer vague platitudes to folks who are in crisis...because anything else would take actual effort.

Have you actually TRIED to find "therapy"? Even if you are lucky enough too find someone without a months-long waiting list that accepts insurance, the second you mention wanting to end your life they will shunt you off to a mental hospital.

I'm sure your heart is in the right place....but, man...this kind of 'advice' really pisses me off.

 

[Hollowman]

This is incredibly naïve, unhelpful, and potentially dangerous. Reminds me of those pro-lifers that espouse how "precious" every life is, but only offer vague platitudes to folks who are in crisis...because anything else would take actual effort.

Have you actually TRIED to find "therapy"? Even if you are lucky enough too find someone without a months-long waiting list that accepts insurance, the second you mention wanting to end your life they will shunt you off to a mental hospital.

I'm sure your heart is in the right place....but, man...this kind of 'advice' really pisses me off.

The pro lifer's been banned, good riddance.

 

[Stormy Raine]

Soon I'll be free. No more suffering. All I do is suffer nowadays I never feel any good emotions. I'm extremely lonely and have had so much horrible stuff happen to me and no one talk about it with. Suffering in silence.

But when I die?

Peace.

I'm sorry my friend you're feeling this way and I can't imagine how hurtful this must be. You aren't alone, you're surrounded by people who will listen and be there to catch your tears! You are surrounded by love

 

[sadnow11]

which method?

Was gonna jump off something really high, tho I've tried this before and always pussy out. Usually bridges with suicide railings tho that take a tiny bit of effort to climb.

I think I will just jump off a huge cliff. No railings or anything to stop me I can just leap.

If not I'll do that gas inhalation thing that people always talk about.

I'm sorry my friend you're feeling this way and I can't imagine how hurtful this must be. You aren't alone, you're surrounded by people who will listen and be there to catch your tears! You are surrounded by love

I am tho I spend 90% of my day alone.

All my friends lost interest in me or downright hate me. My family doesn't care about me, they abandoned me too.

I don't have any hope anymore nor do I want any I just want to stop enduring my thoughts which are so painful.

Existing certainly is so dreadful and torturous, to me it's horrible how there's so much endless suffering in existing, I understand why you would be looking forward to being gone so much. I certainly see death as being the only relief, to me non-existence is true peace that could never be found in this hellish reality, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

Thank you, it's tragic and unfair. I just wanted a normal simple life and I tried so hard too. I tried to fight but inevitably I lost.

 

[wanttodie]

me to Can't wait to die

 

[leavingsoon99]

I can't wait either. Fuck life.

 

[Ico]

The pro lifer's been banned, good riddance.

I'm pretty new to this community, but I am SO very thankful that it exists. It is incredibly important that we have a place to discuss matters of suicide openly and honestly.

Glad that the moderators recognize this, and restrict the folks who would see this as an opportunity to spew out toxic positivity and/or the same meaningless catch phrases that we've heard our whole lives.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could avail ourselves of the same level of euthanasia accorded to sick animals? How much better would things be if we actually had full bodily autonomy, and the right to die? We could take the time to get our affairs in order, wrap things up for loved ones, let everyone know what will be happening, and go out non-violently.

 

[DreamyLisa]

I'm pretty new to this community, but I am SO very thankful that it exists. It is incredibly important that we have a place to discuss matters of suicide openly and honestly.

Glad that the moderators recognize this, and restrict the folks who would see this as an opportunity to spew out toxic positivity and/or the same meaningless catch phrases that we've heard our whole lives.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could avail ourselves of the same level of euthanasia accorded to sick animals? How much better would things be if we actually had full bodily autonomy, and the right to die? We could take the time to get our affairs in order, wrap things up for loved ones, let everyone know what will be happening, and go out non-violently.

I completely second this. First step should always be talk and this forum provides a lot in that regard to be able to make your own informed decisions

 

[Ico]

Was gonna jump off something really high, tho I've tried this before and always pussy out. Usually bridges with suicide railings tho that take a tiny bit of effort to climb.

I think I will just jump off a huge cliff. No railings or anything to stop me I can just leap.

If not I'll do that gas inhalation thing that people always talk about.

I am tho I spend 90% of my day alone.

All my friends lost interest in me or downright hate me. My family doesn't care about me, they abandoned me too.

I don't have any hope anymore nor do I want any I just want to stop enduring my thoughts which are so painful.

Thank you, it's tragic and unfair. I just wanted a normal simple life and I tried so hard too. I tried to fight but inevitably I lost.

I feel this in my bones, and respect your right to determine the course of your own life. It seems that some of us are just cursed from the start (neurodivergent brains, chemical imbalances, disabilities, chronic pain), and others are just beaten down by life no matter how hard we try. I don't think it's inherently wrong to seek an end to the pain.

At age 50, I learned that I was Autistic...which explains so much about why I have always been an easy target for violence and abuse. My brain is not going to change, and it's never going to get better. For some of us, a 'normal life' isn't an option. It sucks that there are many of us who find ourselves grappling with completely understandable thoughts of suicide, but we cannot ever commiserate in the outside world.

Jumping is a valid plan, which I would be way too chicken-shit to do. When I was 16, I went the carbon monoxide route...which was actually fairly pleasant. Managed to achieve clinical death, but was brought back via CPR (it was a fluke that I was found). The only advice I would give is to make sure to cover your bases. In my case, being forcibly dragged back into the living world ended up with everything exponentially worse. Carbon Monoxide poisoning created brain damage which I have had to live with for over 34 years. More importantly, it made everyone aware of my intentions. I no longer have the privilege of privacy, and a mountain of medical debt.

I have also found that living life in 3-4 month increments with HEAVY structure helps to put things in perspective. Like, giving yourself something to look forward to in the midst of the pain and horror. It can be something as simple as a good burger on Saturdays, a new videogame coming out in a few months, or (for me) going to the comic book store every Wednesday for new releases.

I would imagine that for some people, this might help them get through the minor peaks and valleys. For others (like me), it grants enough time to make rational and informed conclusions that the pain of life is never going to improve...and things are only going to get worse. At this point, you have to do what is best for you. This includes non-existence.

Good luck in your journey.

 

[Justnotme]

I'm pretty new to this community, but I am SO very thankful that it exists. It is incredibly important that we have a place to discuss matters of suicide openly and honestly.

Glad that the moderators recognize this, and restrict the folks who would see this as an opportunity to spew out toxic positivity and/or the same meaningless catch phrases that we've heard our whole lives.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could avail ourselves of the same level of euthanasia accorded to sick animals? How much better would things be if we actually had full bodily autonomy, and the right to die? We could take the time to get our affairs in order, wrap things up for loved ones, let everyone know what will be happening, and go out non-violently.

Unfortunately, even animals are often euthanized in an inhumane way. I was horrified when I found out about it. And my heart is bursting with pain

I read that animals are often injected with a substance that simply immobilizes the animal, causing respiratory arrest.
That is, the animal suffocates in reality and feels everything!!!
This world is disgusting and cruel!

Those people who have pets are not infrequently misled.
After all, there are no signs of a painful death. But in fact, animals die at this moment in the same way as if people died holding their breath!

And I'm not even talking about slaughtering animals!
It's all very terrible.
My soul aches unbearably because of this

 

[Jolene79]

Hey if things really get that bad id suggest looking for therapy. Maybe you have already had bad experiences with it before but you can always choose too stop going. The same doesn't apply for suicide.

I see where banned user is coming from. But it's just too naive. If you're in the US, you're young and you have minimal control over your choice of therapist, it sounds torturous. You aren't allowed to say you're suicidal, you know your parents may be tipped off at any time to what you say. Most shouldn't be allowed contact with other humans let alone bloody practice therapy!

But- I will say for me in my case I had a very significant bout of depression when young and didn't really understand it. I found a brilliant therapist myself ( female) who just sees the world as it is. That helped me so so much.

So now my being here is sadly due to severe unrelenting health battles. But I still talk to my therapist, the same one, I talk about wanting to end it, how I might and it helps me keep going for now. Depriving all these young people of this is just criminal and leads to more suicidality. Most people don't want to die! They want to not suffer, they want to be heard, to be validated and this place does that from all I see tbh more than these imaginary wonderful therapists who sound hideous from the posts I read

 

[MiraiShisen]

Unfortunately, even animals are often euthanized in an inhumane way. I was horrified when I found out about it. And my heart is bursting with pain

I read that animals are often injected with a substance that simply immobilizes the animal, causing respiratory arrest.
That is, the animal suffocates in reality and feels everything!!!
This world is disgusting and cruel!

Those people who have pets are not infrequently misled.
After all, there are no signs of a painful death. But in fact, animals die at this moment in the same way as if people died holding their breath!

And I'm not even talking about slaughtering animals!
It's all very terrible.
My soul aches unbearably because of this

Yes its sad how we treat animals in general, we see them like a product like a thing not a live being, young male chicks are shredded the first day they hatch from egg and are used for chicken nuggets.. just product, Cows or pigs that did not even see sun or feel grass in their whole life ! Imagine that, herbivore that did not even seen grass, pumped with antibiotics or hormones just to have bigger muscle tone, live in thight dark and cold space... Imagine your own kids would be taken away from you and you never see them again. Killing them by inhumane ways... its haunting me, because they do have feelings like us, they feel sadness, happiness, they also fear just like us, its just sad. Why there is not universe where life can live in harmony without killing everything around, I dont get it. Life is just lottery with very low chances of having good or great life, very very low :) Just fact we were born as humans is win, because if not, you would not be here long time ago.

 

[Baron]

Every day I am looking forward to the day I die. The piece that's only available in eternal nothingness. It just makes me so happy thinking about myself being dead.

 

[Stormy Raine]

Oh crap, I woke up again well hello all

 

[sadnow11]

Unfortunately, even animals are often euthanized in an inhumane way. I was horrified when I found out about it. And my heart is bursting with pain

I read that animals are often injected with a substance that simply immobilizes the animal, causing respiratory arrest.
That is, the animal suffocates in reality and feels everything!!!
This world is disgusting and cruel!

Those people who have pets are not infrequently misled.
After all, there are no signs of a painful death. But in fact, animals die at this moment in the same way as if people died holding their breath!

And I'm not even talking about slaughtering animals!
It's all very terrible.
My soul aches unbearably because of this

In ideal euthanasia a barbiturate is used which feels just like falling asleep for the animal. It was a popular suicide choice back in the day, Marilyn Monroe committed suicide using Nembutal (a sleeping med at the time).

I read a book called "The Peaceful Pill" it recommends Nembutal as the drug of choice for suicide. Problem is it's extremely hard to acquire nowadays, even on the black market.

This is because recreational users can just use benzos instead but benzos can't be overdosed on to cause a peaceful death as effectively as barbiturates.

Trust me if I had Nembutal I'd inject the highest dose asap. Very peaceful death. Your brain would stop forming memories before you even realised what was happening and you'd be asleep soon after the injection probably within 30 seconds and then dead an hour or two later.

The best part is unlike morphine you can't even be saved, once overdosed on barbiturates there's no going back. There's no antidote.

Euthanasia should be legal.