Venting Can't take it but I am trying

[Chili]

I just wanted to vent.

I'm trying to recover. Life is driving me mad. There should be no reason for me to struggle this much.

I have a job that pays okay, but I absolutely loathe it. It is destroying me physically and mentally. It's not structured at all. One day, I may get out on time. The next day, I will work 8 AM to 4:30 AM and there is no in-between. I can't even tell people my job on here out of fear someone will find me, but I Can. Not. Do. It. I've been in this job for 2+ years, which is far more than most make it. But every day stepping into the building makes me so anxious to the point of being sick. But, I'm saddled with so many student loans that it is crippling me. I have found a roommate, but I've never lived with someone before. I'm hoping this will cut down my living costs, so I can knock out this debt WHILE working another job. I just don't have a life. I go to work, I hate work, I get out at God knows when (today will be 7 PM), get yelled at for not hitting numbers (they've cut our overtime. NO OVERTIME!! They yell, when they expect me to be able to provide good, quality care to my clients AND see them all when I have TRIPLE the recommended case load), so I have to work afterhours for free.

If I don't work afterhours for free and someone dies, that's on me.

When I get home, I just pass out. I've been trying to be better about cleaning and showering. I pet and love on my cats everyday. I tried to see a therapist and psychiatrist, but wowie. We have shit insurance. It is still $190 out of pocket for my psychiatrist, and $210 ($199 was the cheapest therapist I could find in my area) for a therapist EACH session. So, I quit going because my ass is poor.

Like, there is no end to this. I just want to live comfortably (not in fear of my next meal with a roof over my head of some kind, I'll take a fucking RV man), and have some semblance of a life outside of work. This is killing me but goddamn I can not claw my way out of it.

The moral of the story is that I should have been a carpenter or a mechanic, or something technical. College was never for me. I prefer to work with my hands, get out at the same time, and make things. But I don't know any sort of physical labor job that would take a woman with no experience in her 20's.

 

[Gild-Holm-’Ur]

For what it is worth, having a roommate was a massive help for me. My stress levels dropped so dramatically with someone to split the bills with.

As for work, I would look at moving on and start sending your resume out. Wage theft is never ok.

Any way sending all of my good vibes to you.

 

[Chili]

For what it is worth, having a roommate was a massive help for me. My stress levels dropped so dramatically with someone to split the bills with.

As for work, I would look at moving on and start sending your resume out. Wage theft is never ok.

Any way sending all of my good vibes to you.

That makes me feel really good. Kinda excited about the future, even. Thank you so much, man. Like I said, I'm not looking to be a billionaire. I just don't want to be a work slave OR be on the streets

I have been. With a roommate, I can afford to take these jobs. By myself, rent + my loans are too much.

And, it's not 'wage theft' I don't think? Maybe? I'm doing it, and just purposefully not reporting it on my timesheet. But everyone in the office does it, and we all know the overtime is what makes the job even remotely possible. I just know the one time I abide by the no overtime policy 100%, as written, someone will die and it will be my fault. I have nightmares about this job, atp, especially knowing I'm putting in 10-15 free hours a week and the work still isn't done

 

[Gild-Holm-’Ur]

Yeah, even if it isn't explicitly stated it is still wrong. For a counter example: back when my ex and I shared one car. If I worked the closing shift, she would still have to drop me off at work at 8am. So, I would just organize stuff from 8 to 12 because I was bored and found it relaxing (almost like playing Tetris). My boss saw me doing that and told me to stop it.

One of my friends from Iowa (the greatest state in the union) has worked with labor unions and such. If you want a more educated opinion, I can reach out to him.

 

[Chili]

Yeah, even if it isn't explicitly stated it is still wrong. For a counter example: back when my ex and I shared one car. If I worked the closing shift, she would still have to drop me off at work at 8am. So, I would just organize stuff from 8 to 12 because I was bored and found it relaxing (almost like playing Tetris). My boss saw me doing that and told me to stop it.

One of my friends from Iowa (the greatest state in the union) has worked with labor unions and such. If you want a more educated opinion, I can reach out to him.

Man, that's tough. I'd also do the same as you, and wouldn't see anything bad about it. I really don't know what to do about my job, then. I worked an extra three hours today, but. Augh. If everyone else is doing it to survive, and we get in trouble if our numbers aren't good (causing the need for overtime due to the impractical amount of work we need to do), I just don't know I hope I'm not gonna get my boss in trouble, she's so sweet

Maybe, if your friend knows a lot about that stuff (I do not) Maybe we need a union for our job but there's no way they wouldn't can us before we got to organizing one

 

[Gild-Holm-’Ur]

I'll reach out to him and see if he has any advice. It may be a day or two before I reply back.