Venting Can't stop crying

[Topaz111]

It makes no sense
I know I will never get better, I can't even taper off of the perscription drugs that were carelessly given to me and are now harming me. I know I don't have the strength to keep on going and fighting. I know that if I stay I will live every day in fear because I don't have the strength, skills or health to move out. I know all that awaits me is more pain, I know that logically suicide is the best option for me. The only option.
But now after I took my first dose of meto.. I can't stop crying
I just can't keep the tears from falling out my eyes.
I tried therapy, I tried psychologists, psychiatrists, so many psych drugs.. I was doing better for just a moment, but then life fucked me over again
I feel so alone and hurt and scared
I know there is nothing for me here.. why can't I stop crying

 

[A Sit of Doubting]

crying is just u showing emotion. it is a perfectly normal reaction to have! don't beat urself up because of your bodily reaction to pain. i will never understand what you're going thru to the extent and magnitude you're experiencing, but if you believe (even illogically) in any notion that suicide is not what you want, persevere thru that pain. i'm not suggesting you trample all this feeling down and grit ur teeth and pave a way, but you've felt better once, and i guarantee, with the right resources, you'll reach that feat indefinitely. i am genuinely cheering for your happiness!!! i hope you feel better, but crying shouldn't be viewed upon so negatively. it's okay to let yourself simmer in that sadness.

 

[Topaz111]

crying is just u showing emotion. it is a perfectly normal reaction to have! don't beat urself up because of your bodily reaction to pain. i will never understand what you're going thru to the extent and magnitude you're experiencing, but if you believe (even illogically) in any notion that suicide is not what you want, persevere thru that pain. i'm not suggesting you trample all this feeling down and grit ur teeth and pave a way, but you've felt better once, and i guarantee, with the right resources, you'll reach that feat indefinitely. i am genuinely cheering for your happiness!!! i hope you feel better, but crying shouldn't be viewed upon so negatively. it's okay to let yourself simmer in that sadness.

Thank you very much for the kind words
Things have been so difficult for me, it's impossible to be fully honest with people outisde of SaSu which makes me feel very alone. I'll think about it. I felt sorta rushed because of the wave of SN welfare checks, even though I don't think there ever has been one in my country. It's better to wait now than rush in, take the SN and then call for help and go through that traumatic event.

 

[Aflame5926]

It makes no sense
I know I will never get better, I can't even taper off of the perscription drugs that were carelessly given to me and are now harming me. I know I don't have the strength to keep on going and fighting. I know that if I stay I will live every day in fear because I don't have the strength, skills or health to move out. I know all that awaits me is more pain, I know that logically suicide is the best option for me. The only option.
But now after I took my first dose of meto.. I can't stop crying
I just can't keep the tears from falling out my eyes.
I tried therapy, I tried psychologists, psychiatrists, so many psych drugs.. I was doing better for just a moment, but then life fucked me over again
I feel so alone and hurt and scared
I know there is nothing for me here.. why can't I stop crying

its not final yet. be sure to atleast be calm. heck might even train a few times with only meto.
this is a thing that i'm be scared off. panic. i would never to it in a rush and not do it with a clear mind. even if they take everything it just fixing the bus again.

sorry if this sounds wrong but im personal against it acting in haste. it is my opinion and i will shove it in my own arse. just wanted to say this

 

[fightclub17]

Thank you very much for the kind words
Things have been so difficult for me, it's impossible to be fully honest with people outisde of SaSu which makes me feel very alone. I'll think about it. I felt sorta rushed because of the wave of SN welfare checks, even though I don't think there ever has been one in my country. It's better to wait now than rush in, take the SN and then call for help and go through that traumatic event.

i also feel rushed because of welfare checks. Like don't they understand doing these checks result in more suicides?

 

[Aflame5926]

i also feel rushed because of welfare checks. Like don't they understand doing these checks result in more suicides?

maybe its more because they understand. why would they do checks then?
they probally think they did a good job and we will be thankfull. for some it will be and for some it doesnt.
they are hoping for some it will be

i think the world needs be ready to accept the anwer enough is enough. but the world aint ready for that sadly enough

 

[webb&flow]

Thank you very much for the kind words
Things have been so difficult for me, it's impossible to be fully honest with people outisde of SaSu which makes me feel very alone. I'll think about it. I felt sorta rushed because of the wave of SN welfare checks, even though I don't think there ever has been one in my country. It's better to wait now than rush in, take the SN and then call for help and go through that traumatic event.

do not rush

I would really hate for you to feel so brutally compelled like this ; please wait, a matter such as this should not be rushed .