Venting can't stop being an idiot

[ScaredCutter]

im back into the same spot, theres just no way in hell i can recover or do anything to improve. im stuck in a loop of being highly jealous when my bf is just playing with friends, being unmotivated to do what i need to do even though i keep thinking about it. ive just been playing games and being happy talking to my bf but, this stupid amount of jealousy and reminders are ruining it all. reminding myself makes me want to just never do it.

i cant stop being jealous over something so miniscule, something that shouldnt even bother me but, it always does and will never stop. im such a sensitive human who cant even be happy about something that someone has. ill feel anger and jealousy and my body just goes really cold or hot like i witnessed the worst. i cant open up about it because it feels impossible to talk about it without me coming off as manipulative and extremely selfish.

i cant stop being a loser. i cant stop being jealous, cant stop being miderably sad over something so minor, im so pathetic. why do i even seek help or to be heard. i wish i was normal.

 

[shadow_sunset]

I feel you I'm the same way and it sucks. Probably no consolation but just know someone out there is suffering with you so hi