Can't keep going anymore (goodbye) (failed)

[RainLover]

I just can't, everything's fucked up and so overwhelming, lately it's just continuous suffering. I'll take my SN today or tomorrow if I can't today, I will fast 7 hours or so (I know it's not optimal but I don't have time), I haven't drank in 6 hours or so and I will take my SN alone since I didn't manage to get antiemetics.
I will prepare only 1 glass but if I wake up I'll prepare another one if I can manage to, I will be attempting in 3 hours (3AM GMT/UTC+1).

Thanks to everyone in this forum, this site is a real sanctuary and you don't have an idea how much you guys have helped me, I love you all.

If you want to ask or tell me something I'll be checking the site until 3AM, to the mods, please do NOT delete my account, thank you.

 

[strawberry_lemons]

im sorry its come to this and i wish you the best. i hope you feel no pain and in whatever may come after you feel happy. i hope you find the care you deserve in some way <3

 

[TheMetalhead]

Without antiemetics I guess you may need more than one glass.
It will probably be tough, but may you finally be at ease

 

[front of me]

I am truly sorry that you did not experience any sadness. I truly hope that you achieve the happiness you desire, or at least part of it

 

[snowlance]

I'm sorry it's come to this. We will all be here with you. I hope you find peace.

 

[Minsu]

Without antiemetics you'll probably fail.. almost everyone (w/o antiemetics) has failed (after drinking only 1 glass), it will just make you feel even worse than you feel now so think twice pls

 

[front of me]

Without antiemetics you'll probably fail.. almost everyone (w/o antiemetics) has failed (after drinking only 1 glass), it will just make you feel even worse than you feel now so think twice pls

Goodbye thread (SN)

I think i will do it now.. really sad life, honestly i liked life too, but after all this trauma get hated by the person i love is too much I will make 4 drinks 25 gr I have only SN no other things

sanctioned-suicide.net

Goodbye Thread

I will try shallow water blackout in some hours when my family is asleep in my bath tub I will hyperventilate until the water filled the whole bath and then stick my head in the water and if it works I am dead. If I can't get the swb to work I will wait for the best oppurtunity to use the sn, I...

sanctioned-suicide.net

These two attempts have been successful for the last 30 days without antiemetics. I really don't know, but a protocol must be respected in general

 

[RainLover]

Without antiemetics you'll probably fail.. almost everyone (w/o antiemetics) has failed (after drinking only 1 glass), it will just make you feel even worse than you feel now so think twice pls

There has been successful attempts without antiemetics, I have hope it will work, I tested the SN, it's pure enough

 

[SVEN]

Every good wish for a gentle and successful journey. I'm sorry it's all made so difficult, but hopefully one last effort will see you achieve rest and peace. Go well, sleep gently.

 

[forever dreaming]

I don't even know what to say. Just know I feel your pain.

 

[StyxFerryStowaway]

Safe travels, I'll be keeping an eye here if you've anything more you want to say. Hope you find some peace for yourself on the other side.

 

[Zegers]

May we find wellness

 

[Some_Girl]

I hope you find peace.

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

Im sorry.

 

[not_telling]

Sorry it has come to that. It may be worth leaving the second cup ready, if you wake up unwell after the first, going through the process could be troublesome and uncomfortable. If this is what you have to do, I hope it brings you peace, and that your ride there is a soothing and comfortable one, OP.

 

[RainLover]

Sorry it has come to that. It may be worth leaving the second cup ready, if you wake up unwell after the first, going through the process could be troublesome and uncomfortable. If this is what you have to do, I hope it brings you peace, and that your ride there is a soothing and comfortable one, OP.

I'll try to prepare second cup too, thank you for the advice. I wasn't doing it in case whoever finds my body drinks or sips the second cup or my cat or something (I live with my parents), but I guess they won't.

 

[リンさん]

Every time I come across a live goodbye thread, my heart sinks and I wish I could be physically there for every single person that is committing. I wish I could offer comfort.

I wish you nothing but a peaceful ending. You will be free soon

 

[not_telling]

I'll try to prepare second cup too, thank you for the advice. I wasn't doing it in case whoever finds my body drinks or sips the second cup or my cat or something (I live with my parents), but I guess they won't.

Oh! Now I understand. If your cat is anything like mine then it really does make sense to make the solution on a cup with a lid of sorts. Sorry I didn't consider it before, it completely slipped my mind.

 

[vitbar]

I too love the rain <3

 

[DreamEnd]

ready to go? How soon are you planning on going? How do you feel?

 

[undecided]

I'm so sorry your life had come to this end. I wish you a peaceful journey, but if you change your mind, please call for help and don't feel you've failed, there's always another time.

 

[RainLover]

Mini update, I prepared it, but I can't make my mind to drink it, my heart is racing, I'll update if I drink it or give up

 

[front of me]

Mini update, I prepared it, but I can't make my mind to drink it, my heart is racing, I'll update if I drink it or give up

A decision like this needs deep and long thinking. I hope you took your full time to think before making a decision

 

[リンさん]

Please don't feel pressured to do it - it's totally okay to change your mind. Nobody here will judge you.

 

[Kompass]

Mini update, I prepared it, but I can't make my mind to drink it, my heart is racing, I'll update if I drink it or give up

Take all the time you need!
If you feel like today isnt the day, then thats totally fine.

I hope you are doing well <3

 

[snowlance]

Take all the time you want. Don't rush things please. If you aren't ready you can always just stop and no one will judge you or think of you differently. It's a choice that's entirely up to you, don't feel pressured or anything please. Well be here for you whatever decision you decide to make <3

 

[RainLover]

I failed the attempt, didn't drink it, sorry. I did a taste check and it didn't taste as salty as I expected. But I couldn't make my mind.

Gosh I feel so useless now, I had an exit door open and I couldn't drink a fucking glass to go through. I still have a lot of SN remaining, but it will probably go bad as it is now unsealed

 

[not_telling]

That doesn't make you useless, it makes you human. Survival instinct (SI) is something a lot of people in this forum have a problem with and, at least for me, it can be the hardest thing to overcome. You shouldn't beat yourself up too much over it, you do have the rest of your life to either overcome it, or try to forget it. Either way, I hope this doesn't stop you on your tracks to find your peace somewhere. Anywhere.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Without antiemetics I guess you may need more than one glass.
It will probably be tough, but may you finally be at ease

Even with AEs, they'll need backup glasses.

I failed the attempt, didn't drink it, sorry. I did a taste check and it didn't taste as salty as I expected. But I couldn't make my mind.

Gosh I feel so useless now, I had an exit door open and I couldn't drink a fucking glass to go through. I still have a lot of SN remaining, but it will probably go bad as it is now unsealed

I don't see it as a failed, in fact, I see it as practice session of sorts as someone I respect once told me. To work yourself up to the edge of doing it and not doing it in the end is not a failure, in the long run, you know what to expect in terms of si plus you did taste it. Depends how long you left it unsealed for, If you've kept is closed up with as little exposure to air as possible then it'll be fine, people need to remember it is an inorganic salt, not something that is high in fragility.

 

[DreamEnd]

I failed the attempt, didn't drink it, sorry. I did a taste check and it didn't taste as salty as I expected. But I couldn't make my mind.

Gosh I feel so useless now, I had an exit door open and I couldn't drink a fucking glass to go through. I still have a lot of SN remaining, but it will probably go bad as it is now unsealed

if you sealed it back up i dont think there is a problem