Venting Can't even SH

[fromange]

I've wanted to do some SH recently, not intended to die. Never have before. I didn't really understand the appeal before. I don't like myself and I wanted to punish myself. I felt numb I wanted to feel something. And I guess I wanted to prove to myself I was capable of being serious.

I don't smoke and don't really like tobacco but got a pack to try to put it out on my arm. I couldn't do it. I guess smoking was SH lol. I held my razor on my forearm. I could only give myself papercuts. I'm scared. It's so pathetic. I want to cry but my face doesn't move at all. It's so stupid.

 

[timf]

Self harm can be about giving yourself a feeling of control. This can both reduce anxiety as well as help cope with a stressful environment. The problem is that it can become addictive. As long as one makes oneself feel better, external problems can remain unaddressed and can even get worse. It might be useful to develop alternative methods of feeling in control.

If you can take control of a small part of your life, even something as small as an hour a week, you might be able to see in it a steeping stone to taking control to the point of being able to make your environment less something you want to flee and even something that you enjoy.

 

[fromange]

Self harm can be about giving yourself a feeling of control. This can both reduce anxiety as well as help cope with a stressful environment. The problem is that it can become addictive. As long as one makes oneself feel better, external problems can remain unaddressed and can even get worse. It might be useful to develop alternative methods of feeling in control.

If you can take control of a small part of your life, even something as small as an hour a week, you might be able to see in it a steeping stone to taking control to the point of being able to make your environment less something you want to flee and even something that you enjoy.

How do I do that...

 

[timf]

It depends on the specifics of a situation. If you are driven to find control in your life because of abrasive or even toxic people, you can experiment with avoidance, negotiation , or even confrontation. However, if you do not have much experience with confrontation, you may wish to work on other areas as confrontation can be tricky.

One way you can try to take control in dealing with other people is to try to set boundaries. If someone is crowding in on you, you can ask them to back off somewhat. If they are unwilling, you can ask them to give an account and explain why they think your request should be ignored. These sort of interactions can help realize a degree of control.

If your situation is less people oriented and seems to be a sort of malaise, you might experiment with some activity like athletics (tennis, swimming, or running). You might try taking a class on something interesting like cooking.You might join a book club. There are all sorts of things to experiment with and you might discover something that lights up a spark within you.

Essentially these are all actions that can betaken that contribute to a growing sense of control in life.