Can't CTB on planned date

[expired_dreams]

Planned to go out after my birthday in June. My younger sister just got engaged. While I'm happy for her (at least as happy as I can be, ya know, being a zombie aka living dead) they're planning a wedding in August. I can't leave before then. I just can't. I don't have it in me.

I don't want to live and I don't want to cause harm to my family but I know I will either way. I know this is common here so I guess I'm just venting. Can't even kill myself on my own time ffs

 

[TapeMachine]

I had been planning to ctb around the end of this past February (2023). I had everything just about ready to go, but then I received a call mid-February that one of my brothers had unexpectedly died.

Because I could not bear the thought of putting my parents (especially my precious dad) through 2 of their childrens' deaths in such a short time frame, I had to put my plans on hold.

April is coming to an end, and my plans remain postponed for now.

I'm sorry you're having to postpone your plans as well. I agree with you that it's likely somewhat common for many of us here to feel the need to do so. I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone.

 

[AkaRed]

Sorry to hear things went that way. Wishing you the best.
<3

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I'm sorry.

I don't have a specific date planned, but I almost impulsively CTB a few weeks ago. The only thing stopping me was the fact that it was my best friend's birthday that week and I couldn't do that to them.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that it's difficult to set a date for ctb as after all life is uncertain and unpredictable, but it does sound like a frustrating situation to be trapped in. But the fact is that grief and loss are just inevitable as long as one exists in this world, we all have to die and lose everything someday. I wish you the best.