A
akuyya
Permanent solution to a permanent problem.
- Dec 3, 2020
- 16
Hi, first post here but long time lurker, recently decided to join.
I feel like i am a hostage to life. I do not want to be here and wish to leave ASAP, it's the only thing i think about all day. I hate life with a passion but i cannot commit to my plans to CTB due to family. I come from a close knit family and i know that if i go through with it i would be passing a lot of pain to my family. It's ridiculous. I am 30 years old and life does not get better, it gets more unbearable each year, and i'm at the point i do not want it to get better. I want to leave. 10+ years of medications, 3+ years of therapy. I am done trying and my dream is to be in the final seconds where i realise i am about to take my own life. But i am being held hostage by my family by not having this choice. What am i supposed to do? I hate being alive and i cannot escape it. Does anyone else feel like this? How do you deal with this?
I feel like i am a hostage to life. I do not want to be here and wish to leave ASAP, it's the only thing i think about all day. I hate life with a passion but i cannot commit to my plans to CTB due to family. I come from a close knit family and i know that if i go through with it i would be passing a lot of pain to my family. It's ridiculous. I am 30 years old and life does not get better, it gets more unbearable each year, and i'm at the point i do not want it to get better. I want to leave. 10+ years of medications, 3+ years of therapy. I am done trying and my dream is to be in the final seconds where i realise i am about to take my own life. But i am being held hostage by my family by not having this choice. What am i supposed to do? I hate being alive and i cannot escape it. Does anyone else feel like this? How do you deal with this?