Can you remember when you started feeling suicidal?

[notoriousrbg]

Hi All,

Hope you are doing as well as possible. I recently had a conversation with a friend and it struck me that suicidal thoughts maybe aren't normal. I can't remember the first time I experienced these or what they looked like, I can't really imagine my life without them- but wondering if anyone else can?

I used to lay in the road in 6th grade, so whatever age that was.

 

[whatevs]

Lol wanna switch families?

Trump 2024! XDDDDDDDD

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Since July

 

[Manaaja]

My first attempt was when I was about 15. I don't remember feeling suicidal before that even though every day had been hell ever since I was born... I just... had a really bad day at school, every school day was hell to me, but especially that school day since we had shitty sports lessons (I hate sports). Something just clicked in me. I remember wanting and trying to burn myself, but I only ended up lighting candles in the end.

I wonder how they would have reacted at the school? Probably openly celebrated it, it's not like many of them wanted me alive, since many yelled at me to kill myself in front of dozens of other students and no one did anything. Maybe that's where I got the idea of killing myself. SINCE SO MANY PEOPLE TOLD STRAIGHT TO MY FACE TO KILL MYSELF AND NO ONE DID OR SAID ANYTHING! Those people are murderers. I hope every pro-lifer goes after their ass and gets them jailed for murder.

 

[Acopia]

I remember very clearly the first time I realised I could die.
I was one of the youngest in my school year and so when they started to prepare us to graduate to middle school I was 8 years old, and I realised the only way out was suicide.
At that age, I didn't have a clear idea of suicide, but I knew that I didn't want to go to middle school, and I would rather die.

Some years later, I was diagnosed with Autism - and it was noted in my diagnostic report that I find change extremely distressing. A lot of my past suicide attempts have been at point in my life where change is happening; like moving house etc etc.

So that's a bit of my story,
Peace & love,
-A

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

Around the age of 14-15. Now I am 29. It is a different kind of battle to hide it from the entire world for so long and maintain an imposter persona.

 

[Versailles]

Around the age of 14-15. Now I am 29. It is a different kind of battle to hide it from the entire world for so long and maintain an imposter persona.

So am I, now I'm 24, it's hard when you're trying to get better and the real problems you need to fix to get back on your feet can never be fixed.