Can we make a thread on Fentanyl/heroin?

[KiraLittleOwl]

Well guys - im in the icu now. I od'd on the rest of my F. I took it around 9am yesterday. The first thing i remember is being in the ambulance - what a terrible terrible experience. Idk what i was even feeling.

My mother came home around 4pm and found me passed out on the floor. I was barely breathing and they narcand me.

I can't feel my right foot and parts of my leg. I have rhabdomyolysis from the f and i guess idk what. Basically they've been flushing my body with fluids since yesterday and they said i will be in here for at least a few more days. There is a threat that it damages my kidneys and liver. Then ofc i will go to a psych hospital. Haha. How did this happen? Why didnt i die? How am i still alive? I have no brain damage it seems... Jys t cant feel my foot and leg haha

I wish you to recover with no permanent damage
I think your stuff was just weak or your body is too resilient, but logically it's the former.
Can't imagine how are you feeling right now :(

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Well guys - im in the icu now. I od'd on the rest of my F. I took it around 9am yesterday. The first thing i remember is being in the ambulance - what a terrible terrible experience. Idk what i was even feeling.

My mother came home around 4pm and found me passed out on the floor. I was barely breathing and they narcand me.

I can't feel my right foot and parts of my leg. I have rhabdomyolysis from the f and i guess idk what. Basically they've been flushing my body with fluids since yesterday and they said i will be in here for at least a few more days. There is a threat that it damages my kidneys and liver. Then ofc i will go to a psych hospital. Haha. How did this happen? Why didnt i die? How am i still alive? I have no brain damage it seems... Jys t cant feel my foot and leg haha

Sorry that happened to you. I'm glad your mind is ok. Hopefully your other problems will fully recover with time and treatment. As long as your mind is working good and it sure seems to be then you can really accomplish anything you want to including healing other parts.

 

[Grandexit]

Wow, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say. Stay strong, the next few weeks will not be fun. If you haven't confessed to trying to ctb, tell them you were just trying to get high. From everything I've read the psychiatric ward is no fun. Absolutely, this is a time where anything you say will be used against you. If i were you, delete any bookmarks, and clear your browser history.
I'm very sorry you're in this position. We will be there with you in spirit.

 

[Farmmaa]

Well guys - im in the icu now. I od'd on the rest of my F. I took it around 9am yesterday. The first thing i remember is being in the ambulance - what a terrible terrible experience. Idk what i was even feeling.

My mother came home around 4pm and found me passed out on the floor. I was barely breathing and they narcand me.

I can't feel my right foot and parts of my leg. I have rhabdomyolysis from the f and i guess idk what. Basically they've been flushing my body with fluids since yesterday and they said i will be in here for at least a few more days. There is a threat that it damages my kidneys and liver. Then ofc i will go to a psych hospital. Haha. How did this happen? Why didnt i die? How am i still alive? I have no brain damage it seems... Jys t cant feel my foot and leg haha

Oh geeze

If you were barely breathing, it sounds like it may have worked if your mom hadn't found you... but still, it should have worked faster than that ??!!
I'm so sorry.

This is my greatest fear.... waking up.

I got my needles today and bought my bitcoin.... but now I'm wondering if I shouldn't order a larger dose, just to be safe.

Keep us posted !!!

Wow, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say. Stay strong, the next few weeks will not be fun. If you haven't confessed to trying to ctb, tell them you were just trying to get high. From everything I've read the psychiatric ward is no fun. Absolutely, this is a time where anything you say will be used against you. If i were you, delete any bookmarks, and clear your browser history.
I'm very sorry you're in this position. We will be there with you in spirit.

Agreed... Just convince them that you wanted to try H just to feel better for a while.
They can't prove otherwise.

 

[Kotochan]

Ya it's just that they know it was suicide because my mom told them. Because I've tried to kill myself before.

So interestingly enough my drug test came back negative. The doctor said that if you metabolize toi fast that can happen. Obv not a conclusive answer but it's certainly interesting. Because the narcan woke me up so it was sone kind of opiate.

Thanjs for all the support guys. I really expected to be dead.. Again... Haha wtf is my life.

Honestly its hard to focus - a lot is going on. I can't walk but at least I'm not throwing up all the time anymore. I'm just rambling haha. I will maje a more logical post later. I have like a million cords attatched eveywhere

 

[Grandexit]

Seriously, you were just self medicating, trying to get high. Her word against yours. They don't know what was in your system. Say as little as possible, you have fuzzy recollections of that time. Anything you may have said you were not aware of what you were saying. A few rounds of NA meetings will be 100 percent better than the psych ward. I really do hope you get better. Maybe you're not done here yet. Be well.

Ya it's just that they know it was suicide because my mom told them. Because I've tried to kill myself before.

So interestingly enough my drug test came back negative. The doctor said that if you metabolize toi fast that can happen. Obv not a conclusive answer but it's certainly interesting. Because the narcan woke me up so it was sone kind of opiate.

Thanjs for all the support guys. I really expected to be dead.. Again... Haha wtf is my life.

Honestly its hard to focus - a lot is going on. I can't walk but at least I'm not throwing up all the time anymore. I'm just rambling haha. I will maje a more logical post later. I have like a million cords attatched eveywhere

 

[Farmmaa]

Ya it's just that they know it was suicide because my mom told them. Because I've tried to kill myself before.

So interestingly enough my drug test came back negative. The doctor said that if you metabolize toi fast that can happen. Obv not a conclusive answer but it's certainly interesting. Because the narcan woke me up so it was sone kind of opiate.

Thanjs for all the support guys. I really expected to be dead.. Again... Haha wtf is my life.

Honestly its hard to focus - a lot is going on. I can't walk but at least I'm not throwing up all the time anymore. I'm just rambling haha. I will maje a more logical post later. I have like a million cords attatched eveywhere

If they have zero proof of an OD, then they can't prove a dmn thing.
Don't let yourself be coerced or bullied love.

Once you're feeling better physically, this is your opportunity to decide which road to take.... accept help in perhaps working on things and getting better - or refocusing and planning your escape.

Either way... we are here !!!!!!!!!!

 

[Time]

I'm happy that you seem to be okay & even happier that you are (or @ least attempted to) get(ting) some help earlier.

With that said, after reading through your post I got the sense that there was a lot of impulsiveness involved in your attempt (maybe the adhd?). I don't know what went wrong but I think that it's best to thoroughly research & test our methods to the best our ability to ensure success. Especially when dealing with dark web products.

I only say this because, from what I've seen & read, failed attempts can make an already bad situation (bad enough to want to ctb) even worse (I.E: Psych hospitals, people keeping a closer watch on you, etc.)

Like I said, I'm glad you are willing to seek help & I hope that it IS fruitful.

If i were you, delete any bookmarks, and clear your browser history.

Also, if you choose to ctb, please remember this...

 

[Kotochan]

So i definitely wasn't impulsive. You can even see when i was feeling more positive that i was still planning to od. It was between ordering more and taking the rest of the baggy. I don't think it was especially risky either - i think there was a good chance I'd have died. I don't blame myself for taking a shot at it.

My foot is more mobile now and my ck levels are coming down. So everything seems good.

 

[Kotochan]

finally out of the ICU in time for christmas haha. They didn't send me to a psychiatric hospital. Since I was there so long I just discharged against medical advice and walked out. It seems like I have some nerve damage. I still can't feel parts of my leg and other parts won't stop hurting... I'm needing to drink tons of water to continue to flush out my system but I'm medically good to go haha.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Glad to you see are you doing better . I Hope you have a full recovery soon.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

finally out of the ICU in time for christmas haha. They didn't send me to a psychiatric hospital. Since I was there so long I just discharged against medical advice and walked out. It seems like I have some nerve damage. I still can't feel parts of my leg and other parts won't stop hurting... I'm needing to drink tons of water to continue to flush out my system but I'm medically good to go haha.

Nerves should recover, they can even regrow pretty fast.
How do feel mentally? Are you in the same place?

 

[Farmmaa]

finally out of the ICU in time for christmas haha. They didn't send me to a psychiatric hospital. Since I was there so long I just discharged against medical advice and walked out. It seems like I have some nerve damage. I still can't feel parts of my leg and other parts won't stop hurting... I'm needing to drink tons of water to continue to flush out my system but I'm medically good to go haha.

Glad you're home !

I was thinking about the nerve damage... do they think it was because of the way you were laying for so long without moving ?
I recall reading about a guy who was accidently overcome with CO and had to have either his leg or arm amputated due to nerve compression for an extended period

 

[xBrialesana]

I'm so sorry things did not work out the way you planned, but I am SO glad you pulled out of this one okay, beautiful <3 I've been watching and was worried that you were in the hospital, but at least you got to walk out (fairly) undamanged.

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

If I had any idea how to get F it would by far be my first choice.

I recall reading about a guy who was accidently overcome with CO and had to have either his leg or arm amputated due to nerve compression for an extended period

I saw the same article when i was researching CO. 2 guys in Australia brought in their bbq as a source of heat. 1 died the other was found a day or 2 later and had to have his arm amputated because of the way he passed out with his arm pinned under him. But that was like 24 to 48 hours.

 

[xBrialesana]

If I had any idea how to get F it would by far be my first choice.

I saw the same article when i was researching CO. 2 guys in Australia brought in their bbq as a source of heat. 1 died the other was found a day or 2 later and had to have his arm amputated because of the way he passed out with his arm pinned under him. But that was like 24 to 48 hours.

I read that as well, been wondering why it did the one guy in but not the other

 

[Kotochan]

Glad you're home !

I was thinking about the nerve damage... do they think it was because of the way you were laying for so long without moving ?
I recall reading about a guy who was accidently overcome with CO and had to have either his leg or arm amputated due to nerve compression for an extended period

Yes they said the rhabdo and nerve damage are from being still on the ground for so long. I guess because I wasn't moving for so long the muscles began to break down and then flooded my blood stream with all of that. My CK levels were around 20k so I was at risk of having kidney failure but I pulled through. One nurse mentioned that it could also be that the rhabdo was slightly caused by my depressed breathing - Idk how true that is because I think that usually entails organ damage and what not if that starts happening but what do I know.

Nerves should recover, they can even regrow pretty fast.
How do feel mentally? Are you in the same place?

I hope that's true haha. Because moving hurts like a bitch right now.

I'm 100% not at all in the same place. I feel terrible for my mother. When I was in the hospital the first few days all I could think was that I was dead and I wouldn't get to say the things I wanted to say to my mom and friends.

I have been depressed and suicidal for so long now though that I know a "quick" change of heart doesn't necessarily mean much though; Although, I've never taken suicide off of the table before now.

I don't even want to think about suicide or the possibility of doing the same thing again. I think partly due to the fact that I really really genuinely did not think I would come back. So when I did it was such a shock. There was a couple of times I was convinced I was in some kind of purgatory and that when I discharged I would turn out to be dead and I would finally see what I had given up. Honestly - that sounds fucking insane to me and I hate the cliche of people who say they would never do it again after an attempt and how much they regret it. I hate that more than anything because I've nearly died in the past and I just redoubled my efforts the next time. This was different for some reason though.

The thing is that if I do attempt again in the future I will look like an emotional hypocrite and there's a part of me that's scared of that. Scared that I'm just scared of dying even though I "know" that it's the answer for me. That I let that emotion take hold of me and convince me to live because it would mean that what was convincing me to die was just as irrational. I don't want that to be me.

But fuck it. That's how I feel right now, I'm a stupid human who can't get a grip on reality and if this little scare ends up being good for me, even if it's in the short term then god bless.

 

[Kotochan]

Thought I'd update y'all a bit. Did a test of the residue in the baggie with a test strip. Came back positive for F.

A false positive could occur if cut with lidocaine but i didn't notice any numbing.

Anyways, i hope that's helpful or interesting to u guys.

 

[Grandexit]

Thought I'd update y'all a bit. Did a test of the residue in the baggie with a test strip. Came back positive for F.

A false positive could occur if cut with lidocaine but i didn't notice any numbing.

Anyways, i hope that's helpful or interesting to u guys. View attachment 26628

How are you doing now?

 

[Kotochan]

How are you doing now?

Pretty shit tbh. I had a dystonic reaction to my medication which felt like i had huntingtons. It was supposed to go away after cessation of my anti depressant but I'm still clumsy and sometimes cant think. Thankfully its been getting better. And on top of that i'm mad because everyone around me including my doctors ignored it because it looked like depression even tho it was radically different for me. They had to wait until i was catatonic to believe me...

I'm all over the place as usual haha. Still not suicidal - but I kept some F in case this isn't actually a medication reaction and instead it's some kind of disease.

Thanks for asking :)

 

[Grandexit]

Pretty shit tbh. I had a dystonic reaction to my medication which felt like i had huntingtons. It was supposed to go away after cessation of my anti depressant but I'm still clumsy and sometimes cant think. Thankfully its been getting better. And on top of that i'm mad because everyone around me including my doctors ignored it because it looked like depression even tho it was radically different for me. They had to wait until i was catatonic to believe me...

I'm all over the place as usual haha. Still not suicidal - but I kept some F in case this isn't actually a medication reaction and instead it's some kind of disease.

Thanks for asking :)

Its nice to see a name from the past. I hope you keep getting better and better. Take care of you!

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Pretty shit tbh. I had a dystonic reaction to my medication which felt like i had huntingtons. It was supposed to go away after cessation of my anti depressant but I'm still clumsy and sometimes cant think. Thankfully its been getting better. And on top of that i'm mad because everyone around me including my doctors ignored it because it looked like depression even tho it was radically different for me. They had to wait until i was catatonic to believe me...

I'm all over the place as usual haha. Still not suicidal - but I kept some F in case this isn't actually a medication reaction and instead it's some kind of disease.

Thanks for asking :)

Was wondering how are doing. Depression sucks ass but still better than feeling suicidal.
Good luck to you

 

[Kotochan]

wanted to let you guys also know that I figured out the melting point of F which is around 180 degrees Fahrenheit. I heated up the F and it melted at around 170-180ish. When it melted no other materials were floating around in it. The theory is that if it was say half heroin that would mean that half of it shouldn't have melted since H has a melting point of like 300 degrees or so. So another little test that I think helps indicate the purity in some rough manner.

Was wondering how are doing. Depression sucks ass but still better than feeling suicidal.
Good luck to you ❤

Thanks - I'm really trying to focus on working on my problems lmao. And yes depression is terrible but suicidality is a million times worse. I actually had .30g and i threw it out yesterday because i don't even want to think about it anymore.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I would LOVE to go this way, but as someone who is terrified of needles, I simply couldn't bring myself to do it.

 

[xBrialesana]

I would LOVE to go this way, but as someone who is terrified of needles, I simply couldn't bring myself to do it.

Ugh I just need to get my hands on it!

I did 8 years of allergy shots and have 16 piercings, stab me bitches I'm ready!

 

[RichTea]

So how much Fent did you try? I have 2g of the stuff supposed to be from the bick and going to snort it as have done in past but much smaller amounts and it certainly works. Been resustated several times, put in ICU etc. Snorting is just as good as injecting, it just takes 1min or so to work.

 

[Kotochan]

So how much Fent did you try? I have 2g of the stuff supposed to be from the bick and going to snort it as have done in past but much smaller amounts and it certainly works. Been resustated several times, put in ICU etc. Snorting is just as good as injecting, it just takes 1min or so to work.

when i overdosed? .1g aprox. That should be 50x the minimum lethal dose of .002. If we hardcore hedge our bets, lets say 25% is fent. That's 6x more than the lethal dose. IF we go even further, lets say 5% fent. That gets us about 1.20x the lethal dose. This is all taking into account that sublingual is 50% bioavailable.

You say you were in the ICU. How was that? I had rhabdomyolysis from being in the same position for so long on the ground. The first two days I needed oxygen constantly because when I would nod off my breathing would dangerously dip. Now I have nerve damage that hurts all day, boo.

 

[RichTea]

I been in ICU several times as been found uncouncious, hardly breathing. One time I wasnt found for nearly a day but this was an analogue of Fent (furanyl fentanyl) so not as strong. I would say get more Fent same stuff if possible as its obviously good. Just go with 1g and go somewhere not found for several days. I am going to try with alcohol, pills, 2g Fent. Swallow 1g, snort 1g and fall asleep nicely.

 

[Kotochan]

Hello all. I'm back :(.

I've been wanting to ctb lately - If anyone knows any vendors that would be wonderfully helpful since it seems the vendor I was using previously has become unresponsive. Preferably someone with a cheap option since I never seem to have too much money..

 

[AlreadyGone]

What happened? I thought everything was going well for you.