can i just leave the group chats i'm still in if i'm sick of everyone?

[eggsausagerice]

i just don't want to cause drama before i die because i've always preferred to distance myself and be forgotten about then have to deal with questions if people try to get back in touch with me. i'm still waiting for the sn to come in but i feel so detached from when i was still enrolled in college that i just want to go scorched earth even if i might want to go back later. i just feel really tired right now. i feel like they wouldn't even want to hear from me because i don't have much in common with most of the friend group. and the person i do talk to still doesn't really need me around, since he has other friends both within the friend group and outside of it. i feel like it wouldn't even matter if i left. only i would really care.

i don't know if the question is stupid or rhetorical. sometimes i just get nuclear psychic damage when i remember that they actually have fulfilling lives or lives they enjoy while i want to kill myself 24/7 and barely put in the effort to shower anymore (i showered today but kept putting it off for days) because i don't go out. everyone in the group chat is cis and straight and i'm trans and gay (wokie). the majority of the friend group is also guys. a part of me resents them even though i feel mostly neutral towards them. i wish i could trade my life with theirs or just copy their life completely and not have to live mine. i never talk about my life anymore and i never text in the group chat because i don't have anything to talk about. it's not like i hate them, i just feel more depressed knowing that their lives have still been going all this time while mine has stood completely still for a year now. i've been ideating since february last year. i feel like i think that i'm better than them, but i also feel like i'm extremely lesser than them at the same time. the easiest thing to do would be not read the group chats if i get sent into an anxiety spiral over them being inherently better than me, but i'll still read the texts just to see if they're talking about anything important. i don't know why i bother if i don't even care. i feel like i'm just looking for more excuses to isolate myself more because every single thing makes me anxious while i keep checking my sn shipping status. i'm genuinely not fit to interact with other people if everything sends me into a shame spiral lol. some days it just feels intolerable to live the same exact day over and over. i feel like the people in my life are secretly wishing i would go away or forget i'm also part of the friend group because i don't mesh well with them.

 

[ScaredCutter]

i think its fine. u dont need to explain as to why u have left gc's. even if u get asked, u can just say a very basic answer "just stepping away from social media" or whatever u wanna place there. if u feel its right to do, u can go ahead do it anytime ud like.

 

[eggsausagerice]

u can just say a very basic answer "just stepping away from social media" or whatever u wanna place there.

i guess you're right. i technically don't even have social media at all, i just have discord, which is the only way my friends can contact me if i drop the group chats i'm in with them. it'd be kind of obvious that i'm trying to avoid them. i don't feel like leaving the group chats rights now because i'd also have to unfriend my friends if i want to stop talking to them completely. i know it wouldn't really cause drama if i left, i just don't want to ask for an invite back when i don't talk in the group chat much to begin with.