Byeeeeee (and thank you) <3

[parasite_eve]

This is a scheduled post and means I ctt (caught the train, I'm that kind of autistic ^_^) via n2+eb. Several others recently and over the years have written comprehensively on the method so I will not go into that here.

I'm trans non-binary, in my 30s, and have wanted to die for as long as I can remember. My last thought each night and first upon waking for past decade has been to die. I've always felt out of sync with the world, normies, and how this whole living thing seems to come naturally to others.

I lived what feels like a full life before I got immunocompromised with the pandemic and sentenced to masking + isolation forever because our leaders failed to defeat COVID when we had the chance. Now disabled people are systematically excluded from all indoor spaces that don't require masking.

I spent most of my life doing what society expected, succeeding in school and work - while relentlessly suppressing and "correcting" myself to conform to the expectations of those with the money and power deciding whether or not I deserved that next chance. And after 10 years my company discarded me when I dared ask for dignity.

But I had lovely and enduring memories of joy most importantly. Some even in the the last year as I rediscovered TTRPGs and spent a few months playing regular games with new queer & trans fam before my neuroses and another wave of COVID pushed me back into solitude.

I'm not religous but I am spiritual because of my study of the cosmos: we are the universe wondering about itself. The atoms in our bodies were forged in stars billions of years ago. Our consciousness is but a momentary emergent phenomena; we spent billions of years already as star stuff and we'll get to spend trillions more. I can't wait to be a magnetar again.

Thank you to this community for being understanding, empathetic, compassionate, and supportive.

Now, I choose to be the captain of my fate and the master of my soul.

Peace, love, and solidarity forever <3

 

[human909]

I hope you are at the peace that you've been searching for.

 

[Kalista]

rest well

 

[toxicjester]

This really struck a chord with me, as someone who is also autistic and enby. This world has become more and more unlivable, and like you, I'm spiritual and know that we're all just part of the bigger universe. I hope you became what you wanted to be in the next cycle, and I hope to achieve my end into a harp seal soon

Peace dear friend

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Sorry to see you leave. May you finally be at peace.

 

[DarkestSoul]

Hope you are at peace.

 

[maniac116]

 

[needthebus]

<3 u

i hope it didnt hurt and wish i had gotten to chill with u!

 

[before20]

I hope you're among the stars now.

 

[SVEN]

Vaya con Dios. Sleep or travel well.
Sven.

 

[L'absent]

We didn't know each other, but reading your words feels like tiptoeing through a galaxy of emotions—a tapestry of pain, clarity, and beauty. There's something so profoundly human, so raw in the way you chose to share yourself, to lay your existence bare, that it's impossible not to be moved.
You carried the weight of the world, both your own and that of a society seemingly incapable of embracing those who don't fit its rigid molds. And yet, you found fragments of joy, moments of light within the shadows, memories that now shine like stars. The way you describe the universe, your connection to matter and the cosmos, is so powerful that it feels eternal, as if your soul is already ready to return to that infinite dance among the stars.
You lived, you fought, and above all, you felt. And through it all, you found the courage to choose, to reclaim what is yours, even when everything around you seemed to deny it. This is not a farewell to be taken lightly, but a farewell that makes one reflect, bringing with it the awareness that every life is unique, unrepeatable, and intricate.
Peace, love, and solidarity forever, just as you said. I will not forget your words. Now, you are truly the captain of your destiny and the master of your soul. May the stars welcome you with the same wonder you always saw in them.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you found peace, I wish you the best.

 

[NegevChina]

Hope you are in peace. You have courage to take the path you chose!

 

[Light_]

 

[Johnzaga23]

RIP

 

[BlueButterfly111]

Peace and love to you!!! May you be reunited with the stars in the sky. I hope you are at the most beautiful peaceful place. Such a beautiful goodbye message.

 

[ellipse]

Rest in peace

 

[Michi_Violeta]

Dale Señor el descanso eterno, brille para ella la luz perpetua.

 

[billie]

i hope you found peace

 

[JesiBel]

I hope you have been able to find peace. I share your vision of the cosmos, we will all be one with the universe again. Have a peaceful journey. Hugs for you.

 

[cme-dme]

I hope you find peace or happiness where ever you go next. Much love.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

nothing but love.

 

[rozeske]

I hope you've found your peace. Rest easy.

 

[TheHolySword]

I hope you're at peace now. Godspeed, friend. Thank you for sharing your time with us here.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I'm sad you won't be here to geek out on nitrogen tech and exit bags anymore, I hope it was a peaceful end for you.

 

[MidnightCat]

Sad to see you go Eve, may your soul rest in the summer fields.

 

[Valky]

I hope that you are able to find what you are looking for.
All the best wishes <3

 

[nomoredolor]

All my love

 

[nymphojuno]

rest well <3

 

[sunbleachedfliess]

this really hit me. disabled and immunocompromised people have been left to die and be excluded from society. covid also left me immunocompromised and sick. i hope you rest in peace