By this age I knew I was...

[OhWellDerp321]

I guess this can be a game but also a suicide discussion.

By age 10, I knew I had an emotionally unstable mother.

By age 15, I knew I had no freedom to make my own choice. I was just an emotional tool for this unstable mother to use for her own gain.

By age 20, I regretted not leaving a toxic parent relationship, as I know I missed out on the mental development stage of making my own choices.

By age 21. I attempted my first suicide.

By age 23. I attempted my second suicide

By age 25, I tried to go back and do the things I was passionate about, hoping to make a better life.

By age 27 (now), I ended up back at square one. No career. Still toxic relationship with parents, Still single. By now, I know if things were meant to working out, it would have by now. Looking to suicide sometime in the next year.

You guys continue down below in the comments with your own story.

 

[StolenLife]

By age 5, I knew life is mostly sadness.
By age 8, I knew I was different from other children.
By age 12, I was suicidal.
By age 14, I realized that I'll never heal from my trauma.
By age 22, I realized I will never live safely and comfortably in this world.

 

[cheese.out]

By age 6, I thought the world is a wonderful place

By age 10, I realized the world is a fucked place

By age 11, I had my first sucidial thoughts

By age 14, I couldnt call anything home bc we moved so much

By age 18, I blocked any feelings bc everything was just pain

By age 19, I had my first suicide attempt

By age 21, I feel that my last hopes are slowly dying

 

[OhWellDerp321]

By age 5, I knew life is mostly sadness.
By age 8, I knew I was different from other children.
By age 12, I was suicidal.
By age 14, I realized that I'll never heal from my trauma.
By age 22, I realized I will never live safely and comfortably in this world.

By age 5. That sucks :*(

 

[アホペンギン]

By age 5, I realized how cruel people can be to me and learned the concept of death (I was fascinated by it)

By age 8, I realized that my father would destroy my mental health and had my first suicidal thoughts

By age 10, I did my first SH (Hitting myself as hard as i could) and lost all hope in a decent future

By age 13, I had my first suicide attempts

By age 15, I had visited the psych ward for the first time (last time, too. Hiding my problems from everyone.)

By age 17, already had more than 10 suicide attempts

By age 18 (now), extremely suicidal, thinking about it every day and every hour. I won't stop trying until I succeed. Have never been in a relationship either and didn't and not planning on ever going to college..

 

[Bastolex]

By age 5, I realized how cruel people can be to me and learned the concept of death (I was fascinated by it)

By age 8, I realized that my father would destroy my mental health and had my first suicidal thoughts

By age 10, I did my first SH (Hitting myself as hard as i could) and lost all hope in a decent future

By age 13, I had my first suicide attempts

By age 15, I had visited the psych ward for the first time (last time, too. Hiding my problems from everyone.)

By age 17, already had more than 10 suicide attempts

By age 18 (now), extremely suicidal, thinking about it every day and every hour. I won't stop trying until I succeed. Have never been in a relationship either and didn't and not planning on ever going to college..

What exactly fascinates you about death and, no offense how come you've had so many failed suicide attempts?

 

[アホペンギン]

What exactly fascinates you about death and, no offense how come you've had so many failed suicide attempts?

I mean, at that age i was fascinated by it, i'm not anymore. And i failed so many attempts because of SI. SI is so hard to defeat for me.

 

[Bastolex]

I mean, at that age i was fascinated by it, i'm not anymore. And i failed so many attempts because of SI. SI is so hard to defeat for me.

If you're no longer interested in death like that, why do you still wanna experience it?

 

[アホペンギン]

If you're no longer interested in death like that, why do you still wanna experience it?

i have been abused over many years, i have trauma from it now and all the people close to me have convinced me that i'll never amount to anything. I am still intrigued by death, just not in the same way that i was years ago. I used to be curious about what it was like after death and things like that. Now, all I want for myself is death, i'm looking forward to when i'll be able to carry out my ctb.

 

[WeakBrain111]

By age 7 i would experience my first trauma and started to label myself as "bad"
By age 10 I started getting bullied at school
By age 11 i had already a negative perception of the world
By age 14 I started getting humiliated by my peers
By age 17 I started drinking and smoking and also humiliating myself as a way to entertain my "friends"
By age 20 I realised it was over for me

 

[OhWellDerp321]

I mean, at that age i was fascinated by it, i'm not anymore. And i failed so many attempts because of SI. SI is so hard to defeat for me.

SI is very hard to overcome

 

[borderline-feline]

By age 5, I knew that there was something wrong with my body.

By age 10, I had spent years having my femininity be harshly discouraged.

By age 11, I'd spent the last year being molested by a high school boy.

By age 13, I'd lost my mother and made my first attempt on my life.

By age 16, I'd become addicted to ketamine.

By age 18, I knew that I needed medication and surgeries to fix my body.

By age 21, I'd become a hikikomori.

By age 24, I became sure that I would die by my own hand.

By age 25, I knew that I couldn't do anything.

 

[feder]

By age 8, I had my first suicidal thoughts

By age 10, I started to self harm

By age 12, I tryed to hang myself for the first time(impulsive decision obv failed)

By age 13, I told my parents I wanted to die, they did not take it seriously.

By age 15, I became consistently suicidal

By age 17, I was sure this was my final year, but something happened that gave me hope.

By age, 18 that something was gone

By age 19(now), I'm trying to do better and it's kind of working, for now.

Im sorry for all of your traumatic experiences guys, no 5-8 yo child should be brought to the point where it starts to think about ctb.

 

[OhWellDerp321]

By age 8, I had my first suicidal thoughts

By age 10, I started to self harm

By age 12, I tryed to hang myself for the first time(impulsive decision obv failed)

By age 13, I told my parents I wanted to die, they did not take it seriously.

By age 15, I became consistently suicidal

By age 17, I was sure this was my final year, but something happened that gave me hope.

By age, 18 that something was gone

By age 19(now), I'm trying to do better and it's kind of working, for now.

Im sorry for all of your traumatic experiences guys, no 5-8 yo child should be brought to the point where it starts to think about ctb.

sorry to hear.

 

[SaltySuh]

By age 2 I was adopted from a foreign country to my country of residence.

By age 5 I was diagnosed with ADHD.

By age 6 I was placed into a social skills group. I hated every second of it. The only thing I learned was how to hide my problems better.

By age 13 I lost all my friends, stopped feeling anything, and stopped caring about my life.

By age 14, I had attempted suicide for the first time.

By age 16, I was diagnosed with another learning disability.

By age 18, I attempted suicide again.

By age 19, I was diagnosed with Paranoid PD. I also joined this forum at 19.