By the end of 2024 I'll make myself decide: live or die

[unsaiddes]

By the end of December 2024, my life will look different than it does now. I'll have moved in with my partner, I'll have gotten promoted at work, I'll have turned 25 and I'll have become an aunt. Those are all pretty significant, so I think once I've got all those events under my belt I'll be able to make my final decision on whether to CTB very imminently, or try to live.

"Why is there a chance you'd choose to CTB then? All those changes are positive!" Exactly. It will likely be the best that things will ever get for me. And if I still hate myself and see no point in continuing on, I can be certain of my choice to leave this earth instead of plagued by what-ifs. I do have a feeling my mindset won't change, and I'm not upset about it.

Does anyone else have a kind of far away decision date? When I think of it I feel both dread and excitement.

 

[Traveller12724]

I think for me my plan is to ctb at the end of the year, I still have a few things that I need to check off my bucket list and then I am out. I hope all these things can give you the clarity that you need, best of luck to you!!

 

[trashhologram]

Same here but I'm not sure if there will be any positive changes in my life. I'm just going to try to enjoy this year and maybe give recovery a try. Maybe.