Help Bullying.

[Sherri]

I wasn't bullied at school. However I would defend someone who was being bullied. If it was on plain sight. Was always a Tom boy. Of course I got a few slaps from the bullies. But for just a minute I would try to help someone in need. Think like this , in 10 yesterday you will forget all of them, and you will realise did I leave that person bullied me? You are a sensitive soul, they are not. You way better than them in anyway. You would mostre likely have a better life than them, cause when high school is over they are no longer the cool people that thought they once were, let life and karma work on them. Hugs

 

[Sensei]

I did wonder that. It was a surreal experience. I was indeed ready to fight and if I'm honest, I wanted to and was upset that I didn't get to, even though I was scared. Not sure if that even makes sense and I don't feel good admitting it either.

There's no shame in wanting to fight a bully. They've deserved it, haven't they? It's not as if you would assault an innocent person.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Bully's are Nothing but Shite on a shovel! They do what they do to get a Reaction out of a person they believe to be a weaker opponent! When approached by a Bully say Nothing! This will confuse them and give you time to ram your kneecap up into their unusually small bollock's!!!

 

[regular john]

I was bullied at school. Thing is, this idea that if you stand up to a bully then he/she will back down because they are secretly afraid...not true. This guy was pretty tough.
After way too much of this, one day I decided to stand up to him regardless of the consequences. I was sick all day from fear leading up to it. I was just a geeky kid and he was bigger, stronger, faster and perfectly willing to hurt people.
Then at break, I talked to him as usual and was ready to stand my ground when the abuse started, fight back and suffer the violence. He was suddenly as nice as pie, with no input from me. For some unknown reason, the months of abuse had stopped on that day and he never behaved that way again. I'd done nothing to make this change happen.
It felt like the universe had stepped in.
However, to this day, I wonder if that was a good thing or not. I'd made my decision and I was prepared to stand my ground and take the inevitable consequences. But I was deprived of that opportunity.

they bully you if they know that are stronger and can beat you in a fight. They want to provoke you. If you react to his insults by insulting him this is what he is waiting for . Now he has excuse to beat you. Their thinking is that they can insult you and you can't insult them. If you do , this serves as excuse to beat you badly.

 

[Kat!]

I never really confronted my bullies but there was one guy in particular I snapped on.
He was sooo annoying. He actually kinda scared me, gave off young serial killer in the making vibes.
He loved knives and he regularly got into fights, he tore up the seats on the bus with his knife. One time he was paired with me for no reason by the driver, and he cut the seat, and then he held the knife to my leg and said "what if I cut you?" something more but I can't remember since it was long ago. I said no awkwardly of course, and he just went back to whatever, but I was terrified.
A few years later and a few fights later, he was drinking, smoking, vaping, and getting doped up regularly at the bus stop, his parents didn't care.
He eventually killed our neighbor's chickens in the middle of the night, he got detained or something, came back to school later, and this is when it happened.
He has some shitty belt with metal things on it and he kept hitting me with it, at first I was meh about it but then he started pelting me. So for the first time in my life I stood up for myself. I told him "If you do that again I'll fucking kill you."
He laughed at me but he genuinely backed down, and I just sat down and the whole bus was silent for the rest of the ride.

He never bothered me again.

So my best advice, stick up for yourself, because no one else will.

 

[combatcuteness]

I never really confronted my bullies but there was one guy in particular I snapped on.
He was sooo annoying. He actually kinda scared me, gave off young serial killer in the making vibes.
He loved knives and he regularly got into fights, he tore up the seats on the bus with his knife. One time he was paired with me for no reason by the driver, and he cut the seat, and then he held the knife to my leg and said "what if I cut you?" something more but I can't remember since it was long ago. I said no awkwardly of course, and he just went back to whatever, but I was terrified.
A few years later and a few fights later, he was drinking, smoking, vaping, and getting doped up regularly at the bus stop, his parents didn't care.
He eventually killed our neighbor's chickens in the middle of the night, he got detained or something, came back to school later, and this is when it happened.
He has some shitty belt with metal things on it and he kept hitting me with it, at first I was meh about it but then he started pelting me. So for the first time in my life I stood up for myself. I told him "If you do that again I'll fucking kill you."
He laughed at me but he genuinely backed down, and I just sat down and the whole bus was silent for the rest of the ride.

He never bothered me again.

So my best advice, stick up for yourself, because no one else will.

Thanks for sharing. I'm sorry you had to experience something like that. Really good narration btw, really good.

 

[BehindTheWall]

I've been bullied during my whole scolarity. These douchbag don't realize how painful it is to being harassed. I never defended myself because I was too scared and because it was not my nature.


Bullying kills.

 

[kohaku]

I love those stories about sticking up to your bullies. I never could. I was the most kind, gentle soul, naive and always offering my kindness (and being taken advantage of) until something in me snapped.

That's why 9 year old me fantasized about shooting up the school.

I was ostracized in kindergarten and bullied for three years because of my autism throughout elementary school until my mom took me out of school and I ended up being homeschooled. Then it was private classes granted by social services, because autism. I was also bullied in my home and neighborhood. Nowhere was safe for me. My supportive mother was always absent from home and at work where she too, got bullied.

I don't have PTSD from it. At least I don't think I do. Some things trigger me, even silly things like being deathly terrified of being near people playing soccer (irrational fear of getting hit in the face with the ball, like one of my bullies did to me in elementary school), but I don't get flashbacks or nightmares as much lately. I still struggle to talk about it in person, though, as I dissociate and/or get flashbacks when I try to do so.

I'm diagnosed with Adjustment Disorder, though, which is basically PTSD lite.

The best advice for this is therapy, like I've attempted to go through. Any traumatic event requires discussion.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

In secondary school I was the quiet kid who sat at the back, and who wanted nothing more than to be left alone. For some reason a group of boys decided that harassing said kid was a good idea. Unprovoked. With no one to turn to (I don't even know why I suffered in silence), the name-calling continued for some time until I finally snapped. I brought weapons to class and brandished them in front of everyone. On two occasions, the first was self-improvised blades cut from aluminium cans, and the second a Swiss army knife. The unease and dread everyone had for me then thrilled me to pieces. From then on I came to be distrustful of others, and I began to bear those who wronged me ill will, taking pleasure should they or those around them fail or come to harm. Schadenfreude, if you will.

 

[combatcuteness]

I'm sorry for the bullying. People can be really cruel. Best wishes.

In secondary school I was the quiet kid who sat at the back, and who wanted nothing more than to be left alone. For some reason a group of boys decided that harassing said kid was a good idea. Unprovoked. With no one to turn to (I don't even know why I suffered in silence), the name-calling continued for some time until I finally snapped. I brought weapons to class and brandished them in front of everyone. On two occasions, the first was self-improvised blades cut from aluminium cans, and the second a Swiss army knife. The unease and dread everyone had for me then thrilled me to pieces. From then on I came to be distrustful of others, and I began to bear those who wronged me ill will, taking pleasure should they or those around them fail or come to harm. Schadenfreude, if you will.

So many stories. I'm sorry you too had to suffer bullying. Best wishes.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I'm sorry for the bullying. People can be really cruel. Best wishes.

So many stories. I'm sorry you too had to suffer bullying. Best wishes.

Thank you. I learnt to stand up for myself, so I don't view it as a negative experience.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Does anyone else that been bullied whether physically assaulted or called ugly, or excluded deal with broken boundaries ?

 

[combatcuteness]

Does anyone else that been bullied whether physically assaulted or called ugly, or excluded deal with broken boundaries ?

Yes, they're kinda of a new concept to me. For a long time I worried about others reactions to knowing about my life.
For example, at work I somehow felt the need to lie about my boundaries just to please ppl. If people asked if I had trouble with someone speaking ill about me, I felt I had to lie because it somehow was rude to the person trying to hurt me. To talk behind they're back.
Then in personal life, I thought I was a bad person to family because I didn't agree with their displeasure about my life decisions; most of which were out of my control due to mental illness.
Then when making a big decision I would feel a deep anxiety about what others would think of it. Even though it was something I really wanted to do. And even though no one would care.
Boundaries feel like rocket science to me, like it's something complex. Even though they're not.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Yes, they're kinda of a new concept to me. For a long time I worried about others reactions to knowing about my life.
For example, at work I somehow felt the need to lie about my boundaries just to please ppl. If people asked if I had trouble with someone speaking ill about me, I felt I had to lie because it somehow was rude to the person trying to hurt me. To talk behind they're back.
Then in personal life, I thought I was a bad person to family because I didn't agree with their displeasure about my life decisions; most of which were out of my control due to mental illness.
Then when making a big decision I would feel a deep anxiety about what others would think of it. Even though it was something I really wanted to do. And even though no one would care.
Boundaries feel like rocket science to me, like it's something complex. Even though they're not.

It's interesting you say that I had no idea about boundaries either however I feel I became weakened when I was ostracized and left out in my teens making me easy prey.

Wow, so do you think this is a result to the bullying you received? I feel the same I'm a people pleaser as well and would avoid if someone talked ill about me I didn't stand my ground because of fear of conflict, and I also felt I deserved it.

I relate to everything you're saying. Is the mental illness a result of the bullying or it arrived before bullying?

 

[Squalo]

when I was 15 I used to go alone to the library to study school subjects, at one point I was targeted by a group of bullies who enjoyed making fun of me under their breath, after many days I got tired and I went to talk to the librarian about it, who threw them out.
after a few hours I left the library to go home, and I saw those usual bullies following me, I tried to escape but they reached me and then beat me until I fell, while I was on the ground they kicked me until I was covered with bruises.

I came home scared and shivering, full of bruises and blood, the next few days I was afraid to leave the house and when I took a shower my wounds burned.

the worst thing about this story is not just the fact that I was beaten, but that people passed along that street while I was being beaten, doing nothing: there was a minor surrounded by bullies who was being massacred, and all the pedestrians continued walking their way not caring.

from that day on i'm a lonely person, i hate people, people suck.

 

[combatcuteness]

It's interesting you say that I had no idea about boundaries either however I feel I became weakened when I was ostracized and left out in my teens making me easy prey.

Wow, so do you think this is a result to the bullying you received? I feel the same I'm a people pleaser as well and would avoid if someone talked ill about me I didn't stand my ground because of fear of conflict, and I also felt I deserved it.

I relate to everything you're saying. Is the mental illness a result of the bullying or it arrived before bullying?

It was definitely due to bullying. I remember when it happen I would have sort of breaks when bullies would forget about me; these were the times when I was relaxed and didn't care about what people tough. I was like a whole different person. Then once it started it was slowly going back to zero.
Part of my struggle was that I didn't understood that I was trying to live with the bullying. So I would fluctuate from being outgoing to reserved.
What I needed to do was stand up for myself and be the person who I want.
I can still be myself but it takes a lot for me to get comfortable enough, I tend to get confused on boundaries with things such as tough love and knowing the difference between an unfiltered person and someone who is just an ass****

 

[Sherri]

Now there is a topic that really makes me angry. Bullying. I'm happy that you can defend yourself now, I defended a few guts and boys from bullying in school. But it made it worse sometimes, cause they would not let go of them ever. And I couldn't be with them all the time. It does scar a person forever. The best advice I can give you is, it's over now, let it go slowly, I can see this post is 2 years old. Hope you doing ok. Most bullies nevef go far in life and karma always gets them, always.

when I was 15 I used to go alone to the library to study school subjects, at one point I was targeted by a group of bullies who enjoyed making fun of me under their breath, after many days I got tired and I went to talk to the librarian about it, who threw them out.
after a few hours I left the library to go home, and I saw those usual bullies following me, I tried to escape but they reached me and then beat me until I fell, while I was on the ground they kicked me until I was covered with bruises.

I came home scared and shivering, full of bruises and blood, the next few days I was afraid to leave the house and when I took a shower my wounds burned.

the worst thing about this story is not just the fact that I was beaten, but that people passed along that street while I was being beaten, doing nothing: there was a minor surrounded by bullies who was being massacred, and all the pedestrians continued walking their way not caring.

from that day on i'm a lonely person, i hate people, people suck.

I'm so sorry my sweet @Squalo , it's over now. They can't hurt you anymore, and your an amazing member and person from what I have interacted with, you have a great sense of humour, your funny, caring, and you're not that alone anymore. If you were my neighbour I would invite you for a coffee so we can plan our spaceship trip. Love you sweet friend.

 

[Squalo]

Now there is a topic that really makes me angry. Bullying. I'm happy that you can defend yourself now, I defended a few guts and boys from bullying in school. But it made it worse sometimes, cause they would not let go of them ever. And I couldn't be with them all the time. It does scar a person forever. The best advice I can give you is, it's over now, let it go slowly, I can see this post is 2 years old. Hope you doing ok. Most bullies nevef go far in life and karma always gets them, always.

I'm so sorry my sweet @Squalo , it's over now. They can't hurt you anymore, and your an amazing member and person from what I have interacted with, you have a great sense of humour, your funny, caring, and you're not that alone anymore. If you were my neighbour I would invite you for a coffee so we can plan our spaceship trip. Love you sweet friend.

you made me blush, I'm not used to receiving so many compliments, I also love you so much my friend

for me this forum was a salvation, I can finally let off steam with people who understand my pain; forgive my bad english, i'm not good with foreign languages, lol (:

 

[Sherri]

you made me blush, I'm not used to receiving so many compliments, I also love you so much my friend

for me this forum was a salvation, I can finally let off steam with people who understand my pain; forgive my bad english, i'm not good with foreign languages, lol (:

Not compliments, just the truth. X

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Bullying sent me down the path of complete destruction and bad behavior it's so hard to overcome childhood trauma, bad genes, and sex assault

 

[Sherri]

Bullying sent me down the path of complete destruction and bad behavior it's so hard to overcome childhood trauma, bad genes, and sex assault

I'm sorry for everything you endured. Wish I could say something more wise. But all I can do is say that's the past and accept a virtual hug from me.

 

[come to dust]

Bullying kills. Bullying is traumatic abuse.

 

[Sherri]

This song is what bullying feels like.

 

[WhiteDespair]

one guy tried to steal my sudafed by sticking his hand in my pocket. I grabbed his wrist in a death grip and stared him down until he relented. he didn't think the short, quiet kid with the kramer hair would prove to be a difficult mark.

in truth, most of the time people messed with me was them trying to get me out of my shell. I get that vibe from Deleted User's tale.

something to think about.

also, if you're male, get used to it. we tear each other to shreds all the time. my Muslim friend calls me "useless" and I call him a "terrorist." we rip on each other when we screw up. we're horrible to each other and it's fun as hell. it's one way guys bond and show affection.

consider this: mechanic shops will phone the parts store with "hello, fuckhead" as the greeting. how would you respond? think carefully.

 

[Belljar]

Not everyone wants to get used to/create a world where people treat each other like garbage.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Finding good social circle helped a lot. I have group of people I feel normal around. I also play video games with voice chat and friendly banter helps with feeling insecure and all. I didn't really go back to normal and probably never will. It all depends if your brain developed well or did you get bad cPTSD symptoms, I do have cPTSD i have to menage. But It might be different for me because I have Aspergers (I am slightly autistic lol)