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Carcassus

Carcassus

dissociating...
Jul 19, 2025
23
I've finally decided I'm going to catch the bus. I've chosen hanging as a preferred method. While I'm working on some details, I'll probably post a different thread with some questions about said method, I thought to myself - why not do something I've never done before, radical or small, it doesn't matter since I'll hopefully be gone soon.

I want to ctb in two weeks time and while I'm planning and preparing everything, why not do or try something? I know some people have a list, a bucket list of things they want to try before they die. I'm aware that most of those people are not suffering daily and are actually looking forward to live another day. But still, I tried to think of something and I couldn't. It was saddening. I am at the end of my life, completely devoid of any kind of interest or desire. The only thing I want is the peacefulness of death. The only thing that briefly crossed my mind was magic mushrooms. And that was it. This has now completely solidified my decision to end my life.
Even though I'm happy I've come to a decision, I still thought that there'd be something now that it doesn't matter, but there isn't I guess.

Just for the sake of it, is there anything you would like to do or try before you, well, kick the bucket?
 
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brokenspirited

brokenspirited

Great Mage
May 20, 2025
577
I don't have a bucket list, I just wish to be gone.
 
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trashisland

trashisland

outsider
Aug 5, 2025
140
I dont really have a bucket list. id at least like to travel, but I know I probably never will because im broke. tbh the desire to ctb kinda outweighs anything id like to try, I see it as pointless since ill be gone anyway so im kinda indifferent. I wish I had drive and ambition like normal people but oh well
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,178
I understand, all I want is to peacefully cease existing as well, all I see as desirable is the peace of an eternal, dreamless sleep where this torturous and futile existence is all gone and forgotten, I just want to never suffer ever again, I'd just never wish to exist and I find it so deeply undesirable to be burdened with this existence, to me existing will always be only suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and I'd be so relieved to be permanently free from it all, I hope you find the relief you search for.
 
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F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
4,012
Having things I would like to do before I die prompts me to stay alive. I would rather kill myself when the mood strikes without a thought of something left undone.
 
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Carcassus

Carcassus

dissociating...
Jul 19, 2025
23
Having things I would like to do before I die prompts me to stay alive. I would rather kill myself when the mood strikes without a thought of something left undone.
Didn't mean as something that's 'left undone', but as something you could do with relief and basically without consequence. I understand though. Nobody wants false hope.
 
azelf

azelf

Member
Sep 7, 2025
8
everything i want is to taste foods i've never tried before
 
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sanctionedusage

sanctionedusage

sanctioned sausage
Sep 17, 2025
628
used to have one as a teen but in hindsight, it feels more like stalling/pussying out. only talking about myself, not anyone else who has one. the only thing i remember on mine was going to a concert. still havent, but id literally never wanna do that anyway.
 
FadingSnowFake

FadingSnowFake

Enlightened
Nov 25, 2024
1,824
I've always wanted to visit Venice, but don't feel like traveling anymore. Just feel done, no more bucket list. But I'm lucky to live near the coast. So while here, I plan to explore new beaches. Sometimes I just end up feeling even more depressed seeing places without my partner. On the upside, with local trips, my SN can join me.
 

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