viljalauss

viljalauss

he/they 22
Aug 22, 2023
181
/ (very preemptive) goodbye thread? we'll see !

sorry i'm taking up server space and this really is a selfish thread but i wanted somewhere to put it. and i would also like ideas if y'all have any :) (maybe something more innocuous than, say, going skydiving out of the blue)

there are some things that i like the idea of doing more - say, drawing - but for now i will limit my list to more concrete goals. this may be very small to begin with - i'll come back and add more when i think of them. also small in the sense that i .. really don't have any big goals or ambitions. like, there's nothing big i want to do or make or invent, and i sure as hell wouldn't know what i'd want to do professionally. like, thinking about it alone has made me suicidal and continues to . in general, breaking down tasks / goals into smaller parts has really helped me, and i think i do feel purposeful enough doing things that others may consider small or irrelevant.

here goes! i wanna: (actually let me categorise)

creative:
  • more songs. i definitely wanna finish the album i'm working on now, and there's only like three songs left to do and two i'm fine-tuning. i have other albums / concepts 'in progress' but if my time comes sooner than i can make them (which is quite likely. i'm pretty slow) i might just add lyrics / ideas i have to a google doc, and any tracks that would help, and let someone else continue it or not. it is very much fine if my art is never finished! [insert da vinci quote]
  • collate a sample pack. i have loads of little music files i'm definitely not gonna use, at least not add lyrics to, and if other people want to use them that would be cool! will probably put on google drive or smth
  • might also put photos i enjoyed taking/editing in a drive. literally no one is obligated to look at them but i think they're neat
  • i am never getting published but i wanna collate poems and poem translations somewhere (separately . probably also in google docs). and maybe also recommend poets in the same breath
academic:
  • if there's any chance i'll live till final exams, do my best to do decently on them. i have been having memory problems for a while and i think they've gotten worse and i really haven't been doing well in tests (though tutorials / assignments for those have been fine). might as well try anyways?
  • if there's a chance i live till beginning of next term (when my dissertation is due) i'll do it to the best of my ability. idk how well it's going and honestly it's so irrelevant (it is interesting and quite fun to me but like the world is Not going to notice if the research isn't done (it's latin linguistics if that gives you any idea)

other:
  • with the little html i have learned (well, more, but after learning a little i am more motivated) there are two websites i want to make - one just for fun, where i have a little self-info and pictures of / links to things i like and music etc., one poem reader (specifically for cavafy's poems. so like poem in main bit, vocabulary/notes in side bit. including metre! more a note to self i forgot that was a thing :') this assumes there are no copyright restrictions but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it !
  • i forgot about writing a will.. i should probably start planning where i want my possessions to go. not sure what to do about money incase i wake up and have to continue paying rent but i guess i can do that slowly and just have it final by the time i'm near done writing notes
  • hmm there are a few songs on lyricstranslate.com that i haven't finished :0 i wanna do all of those (or at least those i can manage) before i go
  • would have loved to donate blood but i'm not allowed ): (for at least 6 months? because of. either epilepsy or the medication i'm on for it. i forget)
yea will update as i go along with more ideas and more decisions. suggestions are very welcome <33 may add links here too
 
  • Love
Reactions: pilotviolin

Similar threads

guineapiglover8503
Replies
2
Views
137
Suicide Discussion
JagJones8
J
ArgentApricot
Replies
3
Views
182
Suicide Discussion
dontlook
dontlook
futurebuscatcher
Replies
4
Views
236
Suicide Discussion
futurebuscatcher
futurebuscatcher
M
Replies
23
Views
672
Suicide Discussion
Forever Sleep
F