broken up with and im completely lost

[no.surprises]

im proud to say that i havent been on this site in months. ive been healing. but very recently, the love of my life dumped me. i feel like my world has been flipped upside down. she was the reason i didnt CTB months ago. our lives were completely intertwined. idk how to go on

 

[notevenhere]

give it some time and work on yourself, i know thats generic advice, so i will give you specifics. go outside, or even look at your window, physically write down what you see, then how you feel. listen to music, find artists and genre you havent heard of, most importantly: become delusional, even just a little bit, if you work on yourself, exist not just to rot, and if she truly loved and care about you then she would check in in a week to make sure you didnt ctb, or have a mutual friend check in on you.

 

[no.surprises]

give it some time and work on yourself, i know thats generic advice, so i will give you specifics. go outside, or even look at your window, physically write down what you see, then how you feel. listen to music, find artists and genre you havent heard of, most importantly: become delusional, even just a little bit, if you work on yourself, exist not just to rot, and if she truly loved and care about you then she would check in in a week to make sure you didnt ctb, or have a mutual friend check in on you.

thank you for your reply and advice. im lucky to say that i still have a support system, and i hope this doesnt break me

 

[TheBag]

No, this won't break you. Sure, it may knock you off your feet for a while. But when you fully realize (and this is important) that someone who dumps you is obviously NOT the love of your life, it will make very little sense to keep those warm feelings going. You will start to find your own direction. Give it some time. And with a little bit of luck you'll find someone who is more deserving of your love. Take it from an older, experienced guy: nobody is completely irreplaceable.

 

[hooman57]

ive been through this before, i went through derealization periods for so long because of how unreal it all felt, you just have to try, its never gonna feel good, everythings gonna feel like shit and you cant avoid it, you just need to let the days flow by and make something of it using whatever drive you have left

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Someone I loved deeply left me in January. The best advice I can give is to wait, and feel everything. Don't bottle anything up. You feel like she's your life now because you just broke up. You'll quickly find out she isn't. I say I "loved" because I despise her now. That's due to circumstances, how she left and things she did, though. It certainly helped me move on.

Don't rush anything. You cannot force progress in this regard, it'll take time, and it won't be linear. Some days, you'll feel amazing, others will be awful. But eventually, you'll get to a point where thinking about her doesn't pain you.

Also, I am not sure what you mean by intertwined but if you mean lived together, I can relate on that front too. It's made this breakup 10x harder than the one before it. Wishing you the best! Reach out to me if you wanna chat. I'm not on here super often but I'm generally responsive when I get on.

 

[no.surprises]

Someone I loved deeply left me in January. The best advice I can give is to wait, and feel everything. Don't bottle anything up. You feel like she's your life now because you just broke up. You'll quickly find out she isn't. I say I "loved" because I despise her now. That's due to circumstances, how she left and things she did, though. It certainly helped me move on.

Don't rush anything. You cannot force progress in this regard, it'll take time, and it won't be linear. Some days, you'll feel amazing, others will be awful. But eventually, you'll get to a point where thinking about her doesn't pain you.

Also, I am not sure what you mean by intertwined but if you mean lived together, I can relate on that front too. It's made this breakup 10x harder than the one before it. Wishing you the best! Reach out to me if you wanna chat. I'm not on here super often but I'm generally responsive when I get on.

thank you :)

 

[ctb_warrior]

Everyone has given brilliant advices.
Being someone who himself suffered a devastating breakup because it was more of a tug of war than a straight forward breakup, best thing is to give yourself time to heal. If they break your heart, they are not the one for whom you should let your heart bleed.

 

[Aren]

I'm so sorry for you and hope you will find peace. I can relate i lived almost the same thing in June 2026 with a hard relation before the end (but sadly, she left forever this world...) after 10 years of relation. It's very hard to see the person you wanted to live your entire life with, just left. I cannot bring you a lot of advices other than be kind with yourself, reach any person who really support you and avoid being stuck with people who don't really listen your pain or try to rewrite your story, or even choose how your future without her should be.

People on this thread gave very good advices. And for the meaning of the situation which seems unrealistic, the two things that help me the most against nightmare and pain it's 1) Dreaming, it makes my brain get rest and sometimes brings ideas 2) Sometimes just contemplating the sky and the sea on a bench makes me feel some peace.

I think time helps but is not enought without others ressources in my opinion.

Like you, she helps me to not ctb during months, and all these thoughts came back when she left. For me it's still an escape door. But I know it can be different for everyone.

I wish you peace.

 

[no.surprises]

I'm so sorry for you and hope you will find peace. I can relate i lived almost the same thing in June 2026 with a hard relation before the end (but sadly, she left forever this world...) after 10 years of relation. It's very hard to see the person you wanted to live your entire life with, just left. I cannot bring you a lot of advices other than be kind with yourself, reach any person who really support you and avoid being stuck with people who don't really listen your pain or try to rewrite your story, or even choose how your future without her should be.

People on this thread gave very good advices. And for the meaning of the situation which seems unrealistic, the two things that help me the most against nightmare and pain it's 1) Dreaming, it makes my brain get rest and sometimes brings ideas 2) Sometimes just contemplating the sky and the sea on a bench makes me feel some peace.

I think time helps but is not enought without others ressources in my opinion.

Like you, she helps me to not ctb during months, and all these thoughts came back when she left. For me it's still an escape door. But I know it can be different for everyone.

I wish you peace.

thank you, and im very sorry for your loss. your relationship was much longer than mine and i cant imagine. i understand what you mean about the escape door, and it does bring me some comfort to know that the option always stands