NSFW broke my hoover masturbating with it

[Zeus35]

A girl called Zeus?

A humanbeing called "Gas Monkey" I would have thought you realized that people use whatever names they desire to be as anonymous as possible. Yes my name on this site is Zeus...."Monkey"

A humanbeing called "Gas Monkey" I would have thought you realized that people use whatever names they desire to be as anonymous as possible. Yes my name on this site is Zeus...."Monkey"

I didn't realise the local zoo allowed its monkeys to access the internet. My baby...

 

[CantWait2D1E]

Hot

 

[SleepWell]

Title was a jab, follow up comment hit like a right hook! Retire poor henry :(

 

[Fwompje]

Not even with sodium pentothal?

Oh, man! I just got an image of some hostage getting a big dose of truth serum, and divulging every graphic detail of their sexual escapades with a vacuum cleaner to their captor.

But seriously, no disrespect towards sex toy enthusiasts, object fetishists, or objectum sexuals.

Absolutely no disrespect, I don't shame (mostly), but posting this on a suicide forum is just... At the very least, surprising.

i use the real kind then bin it after use

Watch out with that kinda of stuff, especially if you try anal without a condom around the object it might break and it could make for an embarrassing ER trip.

 

[Bigpink]

That's why Henry Hoover is always smiling, makes sense now.

 

[Zeus35]

Absolutely no disrespect, I don't shame (mostly), but posting this on a suicide forum is just... At the very least, surprising.

Watch out with that kinda of stuff, especially if you try anal without a condom around the object it might break and it could make for an embarrassing ER trip.

I think you need to lighten up. I put it in the "other information" section. No pne forced you ti read. This group isn't totally about suicide which is what there are other tabs. Making people laugh and smile who might have alternatively been feeling suicidal. How terribly silly of me. No one asked you to click. Have you not seen the games tab either? Or are you going to moan about that too? Next it will be "no one on this site should play any games because this is a suicide form." If you don't want to join the vibe atleast don't try and bring down the vibe. People were laughing and thats a good thing. Or would you prefer it if I didn't post my funny experience and people were upset instead?

Ill never pass on an opportunity to make suicidal people smile or laugh. Don't read if my content offends you.

 

[Fwompje]

I think you need to lighten up. I put it in the "other information" section. No pne forced you ti read. This group isn't totally about suicide which is what there are other tabs. Making people laugh and smile who might have alternatively been feeling suicidal. How terribly silly of me. No one asked you to click. Have you not seen the games tab either? Or are you going to moan about that too? Next it will be "no one on this site should play any games because this is a suicide form." If you don't want to join the vibe atleast don't try and bring down the vibe. People were laughing and thats a good thing. Or would you prefer it if I didn't post my funny experience and people were upset instead?

Ill never pass on an opportunity to make suicidal people smile or laugh. Don't read if my content offends you.

I'm so sorry if I upset you, that was not my intention. It was funny! I was in a chat with other people and we actually talked about it for a bit so you definitely lightened up the mood. It was just really offbeat to me haha I haven't seen a post like it before, that said, I'm quite new.

It definitely didn't offend me, I'm very sex positive. It sounded like a serious enquiry rather than a joke haha but I'm an office cleaner and use Henry vacuums all the time so it really made me recoil thinking about those eyes.

Again I'm sorry. I was a bit rude in my other comment. I'll watch my words next time. And if you ever want to chat, I'm online a lot :)

 

[Zeus35]

I think you need to lighten up. I put it in the "other information" section. No pne forced you ti read. This group isn't totally about suicide which is what there are other tabs. Making people laugh and smile who might have alternatively been feeling suicidal. How terribly silly of me. No one asked you to click. Have you not seen the games tab either? Or are you going to moan about that too? Next it will be "no one on this site should play any games because this is a suicide form." If you don't want to join the vibe atleast don't try and bring down the vibe. People were laughing and thats a good thing. Or would you prefer it if I didn't post my funny experience and people were upset instead?

Ill never pass on an opportunity to make suicidal people smile or laugh. Don't read if my content offends you.

I'm so sorry if I upset you, that was not my intention. It was funny! I was in a chat with other people and we actually talked about it for a bit so you definitely lightened up the mood. It was just really offbeat to me haha I haven't seen a post like it before, that said, I'm quite new.

It definitely didn't offend me, I'm very sex positive. It sounded like a serious enquiry rather than a joke haha but I'm an office cleaner and use Henry vacuums all the time so it really made me recoil thinking about those eyes.

Again I'm sorry. I was a bit rude in my other comment. I'll watch my words next time. And if you ever want to chat, I'm online a lot :)

I just saw it online on an adult website and I thought I would try it out. My boyfriend and I split up and I didn't think the hoover thing would work but I wanted to try it out. It was the first time I did it and ofcourse it broke. It was actually a serious enquiry at first as the hoover doesn't actually belong to me it belongs to everyone where I live. So I was teying to figure out how to fix it (I had looked online too) so I wouldn't get charged. Im still young in my early 20s which is probably why I did that with the hoover as when your young nothing is really off limits as were still adventurous. It became a joke and I just joined in as I was happy people were laughing because atleast in that moment they werent sad. I kept my post up after it turned into a joke so I could make more peoples forget their sadness in the moment and laugh.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I feel you. I've hurt myself with creative masturbation techniques. Notably during the old stick-your-dick-in-the-mashed-potatos routine. Heads up, you have to make sure they're sufficiently cooled first. And the chive garnish is a complete disaster. Nobody wants greenery in their urethra. Anyway, I would take the vacuum back and demand a replacement under warranty. Surely you're not responsible for simply getting your jollies from it.

 

[Zeus35]

I feel you. I've hurt myself with creative masturbation techniques. Notably during the old stick-your-dick-in-the-mashed-potatos routine. Heads up, you have to make sure they're sufficiently cooled first. And the chive garnish is a complete disaster. Nobody wants greenery in their urethra. Anyway, I would take the vacuum back and demand a replacement under warranty. Surely you're not responsible for simply getting your jollies from it.

Its not my vacume and its not new. It belongs to the building I live at. I am going to have to tell them it stopped working by itself.

 

[Rogue Proxy]

Absolutely no disrespect, I don't shame (mostly), but posting this on a suicide forum is just... At the very least, surprising.

What I meant by "no disrespect towards. . ." was "no offense to. . .". As in, I had no ill intentions of mocking sex toy enthusiasts, object fetishists, or objectum sexuals. Just thought I would clarify that I wasn't admonishing you or anyone else.

 

[Forever Sleep]

i feel sorry for the vacuum poor thing

Don't feel sorry for him- he died with a smile on his face...

I've always loved Henry's- although in a plutonic sense to be honest- I didn't even know they could double up as a sex toy! Lol. Anyway- it makes me happy that one of us is 'happy' about doing the cleaning. For those unfamiliar with it- Henry has a smiling face on the vacuum.

 

[Rexie </3]

Honestly shit like this is why i believe that we live in a simulation

 

[Darkover]

Honestly shit like this is why i believe that we live in a simulation

we don't live simulation maths can't create emotions this place is the real deal
although maths is very powerfull and can simulate alot of reality but it is devoid of emotions

 

[Rexie </3]

we don't live simulation maths can't create emotions this place is the real deal
although maths is very powerfull and can simulate alot of reality but it is devoid of emotions

fair enough, but what other explanation can you come up with for living in a world where people have discovered that they can masturbate with a vacuum cleaner

 

[Darkover]

fair enough, but what other explanation can you come up with for living in a world where people have discovered that they can masturbate with a vacuum cleaner

it's called experimenting the curious incident of the girl and a vacuum cleaner

 

[zeenatax]

I believe Henry died of being overly excited. Probably from sudden blood rush to his damaged arteries and they burst. You must be really an attractive person. The next time you do it start gently with some kissing, cuddling and other foreplays. But I do understand, when you see someone sexy as Henry you just wanted it all right away.

 

[Georg]

pics or didn't happen

 

[greebo6]

From the Hoover's perspective ;
Its probably achieved something we'd all like.....Its just died happy....
R.I.P Henry but what a way to go

 

[no-name9859472882]

I didn't know vacuum cleaners could ctb

 

[psp3000]

at least it isn't the jolly rancher story, the blow fly girl story, the lobster story, coconut story, raw chicken story, m&m tube story, or the dreamcast story

I was expecting something extremely shocking like those people who have to get emergency surgery for sticking things in areas without dead ends "on accident" of course

maybe I've been on the internet too long

 

[R_N]

Why would anyone necro this thread :D.

 

[leloyon]

Same energy

(bonus points if you know where this is from)

 

[noSuffering]

on the suicide forum
girl breaks vacuum cleaner
masturbating them

For a second it seems to me that there is at least something good in this world

 

[traumer]

How is it possible to masturbate with a hoover I don't understand

 

[Adûnâi]

For a second it seems to me that there is at least something good in this world

And banned? Why are the best people always banned? Apologies if discussing this is against the rules.

 

[noSuffering]

And banned? Why are the best people always banned? Apologies if discussing this is against the rules.

Because the best people always strive to leave this hell full of suffering as soon as possible, which optimists call "life"?

 

[psp3000]

How is it possible to masturbate with a hoover I don't understand

I was thinking the exact same thing as well because of a hospital story about a guy who did that

in summary it resulted in what can only be described as that one scene from SpongeBob where Mr.Krabs had his shell removed and the events of the Lorena Bobbit case

I have yet to read or hear about a woman doing this gone wrong/gorey and I thought it was just a comedy thing that didn't happen in real life

I think the closest story to that would have to be an incident where a physical therapist didn't properly set up a patients PureWick catheter

which is supposed to go outside of the area because it basically suctions out/vacuums the urine in a way when a patient urinates if I read how it functions correctly but unfortunately he inserted it and I can only imagine how painful that was for the patient

 

[traumer]

I was thinking the exact same thing as well because of a hospital story about a guy who did that

in summary it resulted in what can only be described as that one scene from SpongeBob where Mr.Krabs had his shell removed and the events of the Lorena Bobbit case

I have yet to read or hear about a woman doing this gone wrong/gorey and I thought it was just a comedy thing that didn't happen in real life

I think the closest story to that would have to be an incident where a physical therapist didn't properly set up a patients PureWick catheter

which is supposed to go outside of the area because it basically suctions out/vacuums the urine in a way when a patient urinates if I read how it functions correctly but unfortunately he inserted it and I can only imagine how painful that was for the patient

I had so much pain only reading this...

 

[lostforever77]

Im a girl, and I heard of people masturbating with their hoovers. Anyway I was having a great time but it suddenly stopped working. I checked the air bag and emptied it, still not working. Its a Henry Hoover.

Congratulations, I am speacheless ;-)