Games Boys vs girls counting game

[Namelesa]

463

taking a note from me? lmao

it's alright. shit happens, and you'd have no reason to apologize. either way, i'll be damned if i let myself get attached to someone like i have this again... worst case scenario i'll ctb with them. because losing that connection will feel so wrong.

maybe? I probably had this opinion anyways just what you have said has reinforced it.

Yea attachment can be so painfully if broken and anxiety inducing when you have it but can maybe feel nice in having a connection with someone. I would really suggest not to get too attached to anyone here as we all ticking time bombs that are probably going to explode at some point.

462

 

[whitetaildeer]

463

Yea attachment can be so painfully if broken and anxiety inducing when you have it but can maybe feel nice in having a connection with someone. I would really suggest not to get too attached to anyone here as we all ticking time bombs that are probably going to explode at some point.

yep. never again. i don't think i experience attachment the same way as most people do here. i think i'm very good at staying detached from others, but good god. this is someone i really cared about and they're just gone. not even best friends, just two people who cared and wanted the best for each other. fucking christ.

anyways, it's nearly 11 pm (23:00) in america... i'm heading to bed early to ignore how this is affecting me. i will play tomorrow

 

[Namelesa]

463

yep. never again. i don't think i experience attachment the same way as most people do here. i think i'm very good at staying detached from others, but good god. this is someone i really cared about and they're just gone. not even best friends, just two people who cared and wanted the best for each other. fucking christ.

anyways, it's nearly 11 pm (23:00) in america... i'm heading to bed early to ignore how this is affecting me. i will play tomorrow

I know the pain of losing that connection with someone as lots of people have left me. I hope this feeling passes as soon as possible.

Good night <3

462

 

[GlassMoon]

463

 

[Namelesa]

462 hellwo I am still awake and it's 6am for me

 

[Sannti]

461

 

[Namelesa]

460

 

[NoPoint2Life]

459

 

[Namelesa]

458 i am still awake

 

[NoPoint2Life]

Still? That's awful. Are you too hyped up?
457

 

[Namelesa]

Still? That's awful. Are you too hyped up?
457

my brain being too autistic and want to game develop and be a workaholic but I did quite a bit of work to 5am so I trying to take a break from it to prevent burnout but it feels like I am putting more effort trying to do other things than to just continue game development.

456

 

[NoPoint2Life]

At least you got a lot done and are making progress in your game.
But yeah, it sucks when you're overstimulated like that. Definitely do something else for a while and see if sleep comes. I personally like to read on a Kindle. Last night I read in bed and woke up like an hour later to find my Kindle laying on my stomach, and I had accidentally fast forwarded through a ton of pages and had to figure out where I started lol

455

 

[Namelesa]

At least you got a lot done and are making progress in your game.
But yeah, it sucks when you're overstimulated like that. Definitely do something else for a while and see if sleep comes. I personally like to read on a Kindle. Last night I read in bed and woke up like an hour later to find my Kindle laying on my stomach, and I had accidentally fast forwarded through a ton of pages and had to figure out where I started lol

455

I have done a drawing in the mean time for someone here which I genuinely like doing. Also played a bit of a game but my brain is just saying to me that this wasted time and I could doing what I am hyper-fixating at the moment. My brain often just likes to focus on one thing for long periods of time that could last weeks or even months but then gets uninterested in it suddenly. I find it so hard to relax when I am like this but its better than being depressed and empty. Worried how long this period is going to last as I always go back to being really miserable again.

454

 

[NoPoint2Life]

Yeah, worrying about the inevitable low that's to come makes truly enjoying the high difficult.
It must be really hard to live like that always. Like the last couple of nights, I was exhausted very early as usual. But then stuff happened that kind of woke me up. So I felt too ramped up to actually sleep which was all I had wanted to do for hoursand had to read.

453

 

[Namelesa]

Yeah, worrying about the inevitable low that's to come makes truly enjoying the high difficult.
It must be really hard to live like that always. Like the last couple of nights, I was exhausted very early as usual. But then stuff happened that kind of woke me up. So I felt too ramped up to actually sleep which was all I had wanted to do for hoursand had to read.

453

I like that I can feel really big highs but that can get tiring and at some point I am just going to feel very low or nothing at all again. Sometimes I just want to feel content and calm but that's really hard to achieve for me with me being very emotional.

452

 

[NoPoint2Life]

My OCD therapist once said that people are surprised when they feel low and question why. I, as always, because I am a total weirdo with everything, get surprised when I feel happy because I'm like what is this and how long will this last?
I've been there with them being very emotional part and that's truly hard. Currently, I seem to be in a robotic phase. I have to say it does make it easier than when I was emotional and miserable.

Fuck forgot the number again in my original post. I really can't multitask anymore. I get too distracted by the conversations lol

451

 

[Namelesa]

My OCD therapist once said that people are surprised when they feel low and question why. I, as always, because I am a total weirdo with everything, get surprised when I feel happy because I'm like what is this and how long will this last?
I've been there with them being very emotional part and that's truly hard. Currently, I seem to be in a robotic phase. I have to say it does make it easier than when I was emotional and miserable.

Fuck forgot the number again in my original post. I really can't multitask anymore. I get too distracted by the conversations lol

451

To me its weird if I feel positive and I assumed that be case for most us here. Is she just saying that in terms of the average person or does she have little knowledge on how we regularly feel? I find it hard to either be very emotional or feel nothing at all. I fel like I either I feel too much or too little.

its okay, I sometimes actually forget the number as well, especially if I give a longer response.

450

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I guess she's saying it in terms of the average person. I wouldn't say I come off depressed in our sessions. She actually has OCD too just like the kind I have and it's a struggle for her too and she and I relate to each other so much. Sometimes I think that's a bad thing with OCD therapy. But my father doesn't want me to stop and he pays for it so if he wants to shell out money For me to yap about OCD like yesterday when I bitched through the entire session because my mom's illness and my OCD do not mix well.

449

 

[Namelesa]

I guess she's saying it in terms of the average person. I wouldn't say I come off depressed in our sessions. She actually has OCD too just like the kind I have and it's a struggle for her too and she and I relate to each other so much. Sometimes I think that's a bad thing with OCD therapy. But my father doesn't want me to stop and he pays for it so if he wants to shell out money For me to yap about OCD like yesterday when I bitched through the entire session because my mom's illness and my OCD do not mix well.

449

Just wondering why your therapist having the same illness is an issue? Won't that lead to further understanding and empathy on the disorder? If it isn't causing any major negative things and you get something out of it might as well accept the payment for it. Its really unfair you have been put in a situation that makes the disorder even harder to deal with in looking after your ill mum :<

448

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I have been at the other end too my other experience with OCD therapy was with someone much younger, who didn't have OCD but claim they had had social anxiety and had basically cured it themselves. That made me feel so inferior and his methods regarding the exposure therapy were so harsh. And yet he was like the only person I could talk to and be honest with so I continued seeing him.

My therapist tells me that the head of this program has a rule for people like us that there should only be three different situations where you should be washing your hands. But because my therapist is so much like me she obviously washes her hands a lot more, although not to the extent I do at all, as I was so bad in the past that I literally got sores on my hands. So I just wonder if that's really good for me or hurting .

OMG, sorry for a long response. I don't know what's with me today. I have word vomit. Sorry you are the only one here right now and getting stuck listening to this. At least I remembered to write the number of this time.

447

 

[Namelesa]

I have been at the other end too my other experience with OCD therapy was with someone much younger, who didn't have OCD but claim they had had social anxiety and had basically cured it themselves. That made me feel so inferior and his methods regarding the exposure therapy were so harsh. And yet he was like the only person I could talk to and be honest with so I continued seeing him.

My therapist tells me that the head of this program has a rule for people like us that there should only be three different situations where you should be washing your hands. But because my therapist is so much like me she obviously washes her hands a lot more, although not to the extent I do at all, as I was so bad in the past that I literally got sores on my hands. So I just wonder if that's really good for me and hurting .

OMG, sorry for a long response. I don't know what's with me today. I have word vomit. Sorry you are the only one here right now and getting stuck listening to this. At least I remembered to write the number of this time.

447

I am sorry you had a bad experience with him :< Stuff like exposure therapy should be slow and kept to a pace which you are comfortable with. Are you worried you are mimicing the behavior of your current therapist and that it is making you wash your hands more?

Its absolutely okay hearing you vent <3 its distracting me a bit from wanting to be in workaholic mood and I like having people vent to me anyways so don't worry <3

446

 

[NoPoint2Life]

It's funny how depending on my mood some days all I can do here is react and some days I can post and share and today is one of those days where everything I reply to is word vomit lol. Thanks for listening/reading.

I'm definitely not mimicking my current therapist as my issues were much much worse than hers were. I just feel like there's a voice in my head often that says well my therapist would wash her hands at this point so I'm justified lol

But I overdo everything. I don't know if you have it in the UK but I can't tell you how much Lysol sanitizing spray I used to go through!!

445 - remembered the number right as I was about to post reply!

 

[Namelesa]

It's funny how depending on my mood some days all I can do here is react and some days I can post and share and today is one of those days where everything I reply to is word vomit lol. Thanks for listening/reading.

I'm definitely not mimicking my current therapist as my issues were much much worse than hers were. I just feel like there's a voice in my head often that says well my therapist would wash her hands at this point so I'm justified lol

But I overdo everything. I don't know if you have it in the UK but I can't tell you how much Lysol sanitizing spray I used to go through!!

445 - remembered the number right as I was about to post reply!

Its okay, our mood can be random and we can either just want to be quiet or want to talky talkly.

Okay I see how that could make you want to wash your hands as your therapist sort of acts as a role model of sorts?

I looked up the sanitizer and seems to be from an american company so that's why I haven't heard it. Tho I am the complete opposite to you and hardly wash my hands at all so I won't know much about sanitizers anyways.

444

 

[NoPoint2Life]

It's funny we randomly chat so much in this game and sometimes I feel like we have nothing at all in common like age and gaming and when you say you don't wash your hands often or like to bathe, (although I can certainly understand how you would have that feeling being autistic)and I should not be able to relate to you but here on Sasu it's just different and it's like you can talk about anything with anyone

443

 

[Sannti]

442

 

[NoPoint2Life]

441

 

[Namelesa]

It's funny we randomly chat so much in this game and sometimes I feel like we have nothing at all in common like age and gaming and when you say you don't wash your hands often or like to bathe, (although I can certainly understand how you would have that feeling being autistic)and I should not be able to relate to you but here on Sasu it's just different and it's like you can talk about anything with anyone

443

440 I think we are more compelled to talk to each other here as most of us are suffering greatly so we have that in common and so like to help and support each other through that even if we have different problems.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

439

 

[Namelesa]

438

 

[NoPoint2Life]

437