boyfriend intervening with ctb plan

[soolka]

My boyfriend always swears that if i will kill myself, he will too. He is not suicidal otherwise from what i know and doesnt have severe mental health or family issues. Im really not sure with what to do, im planning to ctb in october and i dont want him to die as well just because of me. should i break up with him before and hope for the best? or are they just empty threats?

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that after all if somebody else chooses to end their existence then that's their decision, nobody is obligated to suffer for the sake of others and it's a personal decision as to when to leave this world that nobody else should have any right to interfere in. And anyway only you can decide what you should do, I would personally try and avoid that person if I was in that situation. But if that person clearly isn't suicidal then it could just be empty threats.

 

[Aisley]

Regardless of his threats, if you're serious, with a hard deadline, you prolly should break up with him. Why would you put someone through that, you know?

 

[MidnightDream]

I'd end things, personally. If you're dead set on going, and don't want to risk influencing his own decisions, let him go. It's just not worth the hassle, imo.

 

[Kodokushi]

It's most likely an attempt/a threat to make you change your mind. Heard the same words from my mother and boyfriend too, obviously they didn't do anything else besides throwing those empty words

On topic of break up or staying...honestly, only you can decide if you want to be with that person and he's good for you. If you enjoy your time together and everything else besides this is good, then enjoy it! There's still time, you know?

 

[Mortalist]

My boyfriend always swears that if i will kill myself, he will too. He is not suicidal otherwise from what i know and doesnt have severe mental health or family issues. Im really not sure with what to do, im planning to ctb in october and i dont want him to die as well just because of me. should i break up with him before and hope for the best? or are they just empty threats?

He is scared. Many are. And it is understandable. In his state, he said something extremely unacceptable by tying his death to yours. To make you feel guilty of yourself and prevent you to CTB. But I assure you, he doesn't actually mean what he states.
People generally can't comprehend what they don't understand, especially of this magnitude. And people will react different. They might judge you, or try to overprotect you, or become very toxic.
It isn't easy for anyone involved. But in the end, and that is the most important thing, it's your decision! Noone else has a say in this matter. NOONE!
The same thing applies the other way around. That even if what he claims is true, which I do not believe for a second, then that's out of our hand, too. But if he should continue to use this against you, guilting you into not doing it, you should cut this person from your life. Because even if his intentions aren't ultimately bad, it's no excuse to behave like this.

 

[SexyIncél]

My boyfriend always swears that if i will kill myself, he will too. He is not suicidal otherwise from what i know and doesnt have severe mental health or family issues. Im really not sure with what to do, im planning to ctb in october and i dont want him to die as well just because of me. should i break up with him before and hope for the best? or are they just empty threats?

Breaking up or pushing away is a common mistake. Because suicidal people often decide not to ctb. And anyway it's likely an empty threat. Someone serious about ctb would help you plan

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Several good points made. This is why I stay single. One thing I will add, do not tell him your CTB date or month.
If you have a method and it's something that could be found, make sure you hide it well. Even if you are no longer together he could still try to intervene.

 

[AkaRed]

In all likelihood, as stated above- he's primarily just scared and doesn't have a thought-out response. Nobody necessarily wants their significant other to CTB- I'd be heartbroken to the core if mine did, but to tie his life with yours in such a way isn't healthy.
Since you mentioned he isn't the sort of individual to have these thoughts and such, he's very much bluffing. CTB is a very heavy thing for anyone to go through with, and you'd have to be damn well sure about it. I can't convince you otherwise about what you choose to do with your life, as it's your right to decide. If you feel breaking it off is the best choice for you, then that's what should be done. Just please be aware that he does not share the same views about CTB, and the knowledge of your death may traumatize him significantly if you were to share more about dates, methods, or anything of the sort. You're not EVER in the wrong for your feelings and your ultimate decision, but if possible I'd do it gently and more so overtime, yknow? Wishing you the best!
<3

 

[Caoine01]

I don't know your boyfriend. But I suspect that he will consider following you. And if it were, it would be his decision alone. I also think it's unfair to put pressure on you like that. On the other hand, one way or another, you won't find out anymore.

Nevertheless, I think it is selfish to have a relationship if you want to take your own life.
You could slowly start to break down the relationship now, that would be fair.

 

[depressedlover]

You are such a caring lover not to want him ctbng after you.I understand that but i think it might be beyond your control atm.
I don't know your boyfriend and i also don't know your reasons for wanting to ctb,but i would like to know if you don't mind before coming into conclusion if he would or would not.
My fiancée ctbd and i know the reason why,and it's very valid for me to ctb and join him,not because i feel obligated but because i love him and life is unbearable for me since his death,i can't continue with the pain and loneliness without him.I love him and understood why he did it so i didn't have to forgive him because he didn't need it.
To answer your question you need to figure out if your reason for ctb is understandable and if he is a person who can overcome your loss,because i'm sure you know him more than us.
We might think he can't possibly do it but we still don't know if he is serious about it.You too might not be sure if he'll definitely do it.These are things you can't control afterwards.
In whatever you choose to do just ensure that you show them how much they mean to you,leave them with good memories,that's if you'll not breakup with them before ctb.I still remember our last moments before he ctb and it comforts me no matter how shipwrecked i am,knowing he loved me until the end.

 

[soolka]

I don't know your boyfriend. But I suspect that he will consider following you. And if it were, it would be his decision alone. I also think it's unfair to put pressure on you like that. On the other hand, one way or another, you won't find out anymore.

Nevertheless, I think it is selfish to have a relationship if you want to take your own life.
You could slowly start to break down the relationship now, that would be fair.

i agree, i wouldnt have started the relationship if i knew how bad it was gonna get :(

 

[jessisme]

I would take every threat to suicide seriously. It's possible that your boyfriend wouldn't follow through with it but there is equal possibility that he might. Take the threat seriously and make plans accordingly. It is unfair to keep your boyfriend in a relationship that you know isn't going to go anywhere because you dont plan to be around much longer. Now is a good time to let him down easy so he will have the chance to move on from you by the time that you ctb. By doing this you are choosing suicide over your relationship. Is this what you really want to do? Only you can answer this question. Best wishes to you.