Same shit here sadly. Never could imagine my life would turn out like this. One insecurity leading to an impulsive decision, a lying sack of shit surgeon, and I'm here. And I had a great life before. I really wanna kill that son of a bitch. The cosmetic surgery industry is incredibly evil and predatory. Surgeons will do everything to convince you to have the surgery, will not tell you risks, and just straight-up lie about what is realistic. There is absolutely no regulation or oversight. And then when you tell people they just don't believe you. Another insult to injury. And you can't do anything about it.
I was naive sadly. I was lied about everything. Agreed to one thing, while the surgeon did something entirely else. And he didn't show me the surgery plan because he couldn't do what I wanted so he hid it. Afterward, he treated me like shit, like absolute garbage. I really wanna kill him, like for real. I wanna torture that human garbage. Anger, shame, and regret I have are impossible to cope with. I basically lost all ability to function and now just eat, sleep, and browse the net. Don't go out anymore. I've spoken to a lot of people online that are in my situation and everybody is suicidal. Nose surgery is such a delicate procedure on such a complex structure that the outcome is a huge gamble both aesthetically and functionally. Something about 40% of people are not satisfied with it or have functional issues. And they won't tell you that. It's a huge shame regulatory institutions let that happen. Just a sign of society that doesn't care. Cosmetic surgery should be outlawed, at least on the face.
Very sorry you have had to go through this.
(I have never had a great life and was in a rather shit position appearance-wise to begin with, bullied severely, before I had additional hells that compounded my own predicament to the point of no return, "regret and suffer" are words I use but will never suffice..however your own words still resonate.)
It is reasonable to feel such anger.
They really don't tell people the risks (of which there is a laundry list), they just make sure their patients sign the papers so that they're not liable.
Even the consultations (usually not free..) aren't patient-friendly, too short (should have numerous ones), not open to many questions or to offering much unsolicited risk assessment or explanation of the exact procedure, make the patient feel indebted to their service before they even get them on the table..so the patient gets scared to even verbalize their fears or when they got cold feet.
They tell people they need to be "realistic" all the time but will never say exactly what that actually means.
(Realistic about trading one situation for a far worse one..)
They don't take into account that the patient may be making the wrong decision, while still having had valid experiences that led them there..it's very mentally and emotionally messy from the beggining and surgeons just want to get their paycheck and get out.
Most of them don't even understand how to make a nose/feature fit a person's face, they will rarely deny a patient or tell them that the feature should not be touched and why (unless it's already botched, ironically).
They will just accept them and sometimes do things "just to do them", whether the person would theoretically actually benefit from the procedure or not.
(Even if yes in theory, does not mean it would equate to yes in actuality.)
And I find that most do not benefit, even some people who claim to be alright with their result..their before just looks better.
Like you said, noses especially are an incredibly complex structure and right in the center of the face.
People don't realize how crazy the anatomy of the nose is.
They may think it's just about fixing a bump or flattening a "hook" nose but even a "hook" nose can look elegant and refined, balanced with the face, more so than any attempt to alter it.
Rhino surgeries in particular are one of the most difficult (yet so common!), so many components, mere mms could change everything..as well as which techniques they decide to use, where and how much they decide to break or cut out or suture together, etc.
It can even negatively affect the eyes, the philtrum, the mouth, the inner cheeks, just the general look of the surrounding area and how the face is seen thereafter. And most probably not in a good way.
Instead of highlighting other good features, it could ruin them or make unattractive ones much more prominent and out of whack.
Most surgeons don't tell their patients any of this nor do they concern themselves with it.
Which they should, if the ultimate goal is to make the patient look better by an objective standard (otherwise what's the point) that suits their face and only ever makes it look more appealing, not less.
NOTHING should be compromised, otherwise the surgery plan is a failure and should not be performed.
But they LOVE "trade-offs"..this is why so many people end up with multiple surgeries once they get one done…one thing leads to the wreck of another..then they try to fix it all..then so on and so forth.
Most "plastic surgery addicts" aren't addicts.
They know they look bad, but they're not allowed to talk about it and they don't have anywhere to turn except straight back to the scalpel. Empty promises and desperation.
No regulation or oversight is correct..one of the only forms of "oversight" I ever saw was older surgeons basically using their patients as practice dummies while letting their "fellow" younger surgeons perform the actual surgery…while the senior surgeon "overlooked".
Much of this was done without consent or they worded things to the patient in a way that gave them a false impression of what was going to happen.
That's another thing they love to do..ask them a question and they will find a way to tell you "No" when the answer is actually "Yes" or vice versa.
They play with their words and use certain terminology to talk around you, and they definitely don't ever try to let you in on what they're actually saying.
There was one surgeon I encountered who seemed to appreciate the education of his patients (on the procedure) but his work wasn't all that great, so his bedside manner and attempt to be kinder and more open than the surgeons that came before him didn't mean much in the end, for a lot of people.
Too bad.
Their lies and omissions are their dollar signs.
So is the taboo.
When nobody believes, cares about, or considers the patient's trauma in the aftermath of a poor, unnecessary or bad result..this is music to the surgeon's ears.
They practically bet on their patients killing themselves if something goes awry.
Because who is going to know about it?
Most don't want anyone to know, they're so ashamed and frightened and they've probably already been invalidated by those close who they may have turned to.
Maybe they didn't even tell anyone what happened and their death becomes a question mark.
It's a rare event when I see a friend or family member supportive of this type of thing, especially without platitudes or bullshit advice..or making the person feel even worse.
These surgeons know that as long as they don't
directly kill someone or spark an infection, they're off the hook when it comes to a bereaved patient (who are grieving themselves and who they were or could have been).
"Anger, shame, and regret I have are impossible to cope with. I basically lost all ability to function and now just eat, sleep, and browse the net. Don't go out anymore. I've spoken to a lot of people online that are in my situation and everybody is suicidal."
I understand completely, and this is the reality for those who have gone through this.
Even the ones who try to "move on", usually don't last long.
It's very hard to find other people who have been through this..or similar, but once you do you realize how commonly bleak the future has become for so many.
People are fragile and destroyed and without hope or understanding..the perpetrator only propagates that isolation and shame.
Your surgeon sounds like so many others who treat their patients terribly once what's done is done. There is no remorse.
And usually just more lies.
Operation reports won't even tell the whole truth the majority of the time.
So even if people just want all the answers about what happened to them before they die, they can't get them. They're stuck wondering, haunted, alone..
I wonder too if cosmetic surgery should fall to the wayside sometimes, but I suppose some are happier after. And there's not another option for those who suffer unrelenting prejudice for their appearance, those who are endlessly uncomfortable in their skin or with dysphoria of any kind (doesn't have to be exclusive to gender desires).
At the same time..it's just not good enough, it goes bad so often, it doesn't age well, some people lose their minds even from what might be considered minimal changes for the worse.
Some people can't even handle the change itself at all, because the brain just can't take it, it can't identify with it or ever get used to it.
I've seen certain types of surgeries with aesthetic components go very well, like double jaw surgery..which also tends to address function (same as some nose surgeries claim), but even that's a risk..and I've seen that go wrong as well..with just as much gaslighting or lack of compassion afterward.
Strange world we live in.
I wouldn't want to deny someone the opportunity..it's just so hard to realize how shitty someone's only options are.
(Including my own.)
Even those who were miserable beforehand can find themselves with another layer of misery and despair that they did not even think was possible.
