Borderline Personality Disorder

[hiddenbpd]

BPD is a piece of shit. The stigma surrounding it where I'm from has convinced me that I have an innate character flaw that will never be fixed. That if I don't want to help myself, then I don't deserve any help. I feel like I'm constantly a burden on others because they have to deal with me daily. I'd be doing everyone a huge favour to just fuck off from this life.
BPD makes me feel like an absolutely terrible person. I should be able to just turn it off, and "be okay".
I would've been more accepting of a diagnosis of bipolar, at least others believe they're actually unwell. People just think I'm faking everything for attention, but it fkn hurts to live like this. I want out.

 

[lunarflower]

I've ruined any decent relationships I've had because of my BPD. I can do good for a little while with coping skills but eventually I burn everything to the ground

 

[gomenasai]

Usually people who were abused or neglected develop this personality disorder. So first they are abused, and then discriminated by the society for the way they act which is a consequence of their illness. It's like a double curse. But the important thing is just to focus on yourself, not others. The more you focus on what others think about you, the more unhappy you will be. Just focus on your well-being. I wish you freedom.

 

[letsmakeitagoodworl]

Your not faking, bpd is a very really diagnosis, unfortunately as you say it has a TERRIBLE stigma & that makes me angry for those with & those incorrectly diagnosed with it. I was incorrectly diagnosed when I actually have ocd personality disorder, depression and an eating disorder as well as likely adhd. I had terrible stigma to the point they told me I can choose to die & just "fill out this end of life plan". But bpd is seriously a diagnosis that improves for many people with age. I was in residential treatment for 17 months with about 100+ other pep & many pep even in that time improved, but many who had bpd when younger no longer did have it.the began doesn't even stop growing until about 20-25 so imo bpd shouldnt be diagnosed till after that age esp due to the incorrect stigma attached which damages pep more the it helps. Your illness is valid but please please seek help, you deserve it. Ik so many with bpd who live much better lives after treatment

BPD is a piece of shit. The stigma surrounding it where I'm from has convinced me that I have an innate character flaw that will never be fixed. That if I don't want to help myself, then I don't deserve any help. I feel like I'm constantly a burden on others because they have to deal with me daily. I'd be doing everyone a huge favour to just fuck off from this life.
BPD makes me feel like an absolutely terrible person. I should be able to just turn it off, and "be okay".
I would've been more accepting of a diagnosis of bipolar, at least others believe they're actually unwell. People just think I'm faking everything for attention, but it fkn hurts to live like this. I want out.

 

[hiddenbpd]

I've ruined any decent relationships I've had because of my BPD. I can do good for a little while with coping skills but eventually I burn everything to the ground

Keeping it going well is a huge struggle, I'm the same way. Everything stays okay for about 2 weeks, then all hell breaks loose and I destroy any progress I made. I'm sorry you also understand, I wouldn't wish bpd upon anyone.

 

[hiddenbpd]

Your not faking, bpd is a very really diagnosis, unfortunately as you say it has a TERRIBLE stigma & that makes me angry for those with & those incorrectly diagnosed with it. I was incorrectly diagnosed when I actually have ocd personality disorder, depression and an eating disorder as well as likely adhd. I had terrible stigma to the point they told me I can choose to die & just "fill out this end of life plan". But bpd is seriously a diagnosis that improves for many people with age. I was in residential treatment for 17 months with about 100+ other pep & many pep even in that time improved, but many who had bpd when younger no longer did have it.the began doesn't even stop growing until about 20-25 so imo bpd shouldnt be diagnosed till after that age esp due to the incorrect stigma attached which damages pep more the it helps. Your illness is valid but please please seek help, you deserve it. Ik so many with bpd who live much better lives after treatment

I completely agree. I've felt like I have a neon sign following me around telling all health care professionals that they shouldn't bother with me, that it'll be fruitless and pointless. I'm glad you were able to get the help that you needed. I am going to try some psychotherapy with a psychiatrist shortly, but it's hard to maintain hope that things will improve.

 

[makethepainstop]

BPD is a piece of shit. The stigma surrounding it where I'm from has convinced me that I have an innate character flaw that will never be fixed. That if I don't want to help myself, then I don't deserve any help. I feel like I'm constantly a burden on others because they have to deal with me daily. I'd be doing everyone a huge favour to just fuck off from this life.
BPD makes me feel like an absolutely terrible person. I should be able to just turn it off, and "be okay".
I would've been more accepting of a diagnosis of bipolar, at least others believe they're actually unwell. People just think I'm faking everything for attention, but it fkn hurts to live like this. I want out.

Ignorant people often misunderstanding you can make you feel exasperated! Hard to ignore such idiots. Much love to you.

 

[whitefeather]

BPD is a piece of shit. The stigma surrounding it where I'm from has convinced me that I have an innate character flaw that will never be fixed. That if I don't want to help myself, then I don't deserve any help. I feel like I'm constantly a burden on others because they have to deal with me daily. I'd be doing everyone a huge favour to just fuck off from this life.
BPD makes me feel like an absolutely terrible person. I should be able to just turn it off, and "be okay".
I would've been more accepting of a diagnosis of bipolar, at least others believe they're actually unwell. People just think I'm faking everything for attention, but it fkn hurts to live like this. I want out.

 

[everythingblack]

BPD is a piece of shit. The stigma surrounding it where I'm from has convinced me that I have an innate character flaw that will never be fixed. That if I don't want to help myself, then I don't deserve any help. I feel like I'm constantly a burden on others because they have to deal with me daily. I'd be doing everyone a huge favour to just fuck off from this life.
BPD makes me feel like an absolutely terrible person. I should be able to just turn it off, and "be okay".
I would've been more accepting of a diagnosis of bipolar, at least others believe they're actually unwell. People just think I'm faking everything for attention, but it fkn hurts to live like this. I want out.

It's not very well understood and I'm sorry you're going through that. I've suspected I've had either BPD or ADHD or both and so far I've only had healthcare providers scoff in my face and refuse to provide evaluation for either. They see how well I mask and assume I'm "normal" but don't see the chaos behind the scenes. I've seen someone compare BPD to narcissism and that's when I was like wow, people really demonize this illness. The system sucks and it's an uphill battle to get proper care. I haven't been able to yet and that's why I'm ready to give up but I hope you have better luck