Venting boo capitalism bad boo

[LazarusOpus]

I saw on here a thread about "where did it all go wrong". I think it started when I began thinking about my future. I hate the idea of needing to have a job, to work not out of passion but out of necessity, I don't see any accomplishments or goals to strive for,,,, I feel numb thinking about modern life and stuff like that. there's so many things about myself and about others that I need to figure out but the world won't let me stop and think. once my body is gone I don't need the worlds permission anymore,,.

 

[ikadasui]

I saw on here a thread about "where did it all go wrong". I think it started when I began thinking about my future. I hate the idea of needing to have a job, to work not out of passion but out of necessity, I don't see any accomplishments or goals to strive for,,,, I feel numb thinking about modern life and stuff like that. there's so many things about myself and about others that I need to figure out but the world won't let me stop and think. once my body is gone I don't need the worlds permission anymore,,.

Yup. Often, I think about learning things and I just end up stopping because I don't care. I'd only do it for marketing reasons and any passion I might of had is poof! Gone. It's not fun, and I can't delude myself into believing this has purpose or value. I work 2 jobs and just barely keep and apartment to my own and I'm completely dead inside... why? I don't even drive or own and nor do I live a luxurious life style, so why the fuck am I working so much I'm a husk of a human being for so little? 1+1=2 but nowadays we've convinced each other it needs to come out to 10 or 100 at minimum and I'm not up for it

 

[Abyssal]

I saw on here a thread about "where did it all go wrong". I think it started when I began thinking about my future. I hate the idea of needing to have a job, to work not out of passion but out of necessity, I don't see any accomplishments or goals to strive for,,,, I feel numb thinking about modern life and stuff like that. there's so many things about myself and about others that I need to figure out but the world won't let me stop and think. once my body is gone I don't need the worlds permission anymore,,.

This is why I'm here, actually. I slowly transitioned into a functioning, useful member of society and…I can't handle it. My first real job, interacting with people who aren't as sensitive as I am, failing to sleep on a schedule, being expected to put my work before my actual fuckimg life. It's all so painful. It's all so exhausting. I usually survive off 6 or so hours for 2 days of work, this isn't livable for someone like me. Maybe I have insomnia or something, I'm not sure, but I'm throwing away the only thing I have to live for in order to survive: happiness. I am expecting to do this until I die.

Fuck that. I'll get all the sleep I want when I'm dead, and nobody will guilt me for doing what I am supposed to. The pain will end.